


I love hating you

by MarvelTimy



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Elu being cute, M/M, enemies to lovers AU, jealousEliott, stupidLucas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2019-12-30 08:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 74,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18311915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarvelTimy/pseuds/MarvelTimy
Summary: This is a fanfiction that is based on the characters and some plotlines of Skam France, but this time the relationship between Lucas and Eliott are different. They are in the same year at High school, they know each other since a while now, but things are about to change between themakaLucas is an angry, closeted and frustrated gay teenager, while Eliott is the handsome, smart and popular guy in school. They hate each other… but not forever.





	1. See you on Friday

**See you on Friday**

 

Yet another boring tuesday at school, at least Lucas thought so. He was walking to the cafeteria with his friends, holding a tray in his hands with some weird looking pasta on it. He wasn’t really hungry, but he still had to eat something, not like he would want to eat that. He was kinda distracted when he picked a plate. His friends were talking about the party that’s going to be on this friday. He was not looking forward to it, he actually hated most of the high school parties, because they meant that he have to meet Eliott  ** _fucking_**  Demaury.

He couldn’t even remember when they started to hate each other, it just sort of happened. Eliott was the cool guy in school and for some reason he was also one of the smartest students. That irritated Lucas, because how can someone have so many talents, while he himself was just a loser. He wasn’t really good anything, other than picking fights and lying. Oh, boy! He was lying like a king, at least he thought so, but somehow Eliott always see through his lies with those piercing blue eyes of his. It was annoying.

He never really told anyone he’s gay, but he never pretended to be straight either. His friends thought that he is just a bit weird, not being interested in kissing or having sex with girls. Actually he would love to kiss someone or have sex, but not with girls. But he couldn’t just say that to his friends. He wanted to keep things as they were. Maybe if he finds someone he likes and that person likes him back, then he can tell his friends. But not until then.

They sat down to their usual table, Basile was talking, like always. Mostly about girls and how he’s going to get laid this weekend. They all knew he won’t even get a kiss, but they didn’t tell that to him. As always, Arthur was the most supportive, making sure Basile won’t lose his interest in the party. Lucas just poked his food with his fork, staring out through the huge windows near them.

He was totally lost in his thoughts when his eyes catched a familiar smirk outside. He had to blink a few times and saw Demaury, showing him a middle finger with a winning smile on his face. Lucas felt blood rushing to his face both because of anger and embarrassment. He was just staring out of his head, didn’t mean to look at that  _asshole_. He looked away, trying to pretend that he’s listening to Basile, but he could feel Eliott’s eyes burning a hole into his body. That guy was the worst.

They had a few more classes during the afternoon, but none of them were common, so Lucas said goodbye to his friends, giving Arthur and Yann a fistbump and leaving Basile hanging with his high five. They loved to tease him by not doing it, it was their inside joke.

He walked to the classroom for literature, Lucas just hated it. He liked to read sometimes, but all of this was just a big ass bullshit. And of couse he totally forgot that he had this class together with Mr. Perfect. He rolled his eyes as he sat down next to Eliott, because  **of course** their teacher had to made them sit together. Like Lucas wasn’t suffering enough in his life already. He dropped his bag on the table, ignoring the other one’s stare and all knowing smirk.

He looked really good today, but when did Eliott Demaury not look good. Even if Lucas hated him, he couldn’t deny the fact that this guy was the hottest student, but probably the hottest teenager on this planet. He was wearing ripped, light blue jeans, a dark blue shirt and a black hoodie. His hair was messy and glowing in the sunshine. Why the fuck they had to sit next to a fucking window? It just made this guy look even more gorgeous. It pissed Lucas off.

“Being quiet today, huh?” Eliott said after long silence. Lucas was just sitting on his chair, pretending to read his textbook. They had a few minutes before the teacher arrives.

“Don’t talk to me.” Lucas mumbled angrily, keeping his eyes on the book. He couldn’t even read a single word, because all he was focusing on is closing out this douchebag. But it wasn’t that easy, especially when he felt the warm breath on his neck. 

“Or what?” Eliott whispered which made Lucas jump and almost fall off his chair. He pulled his hood on his head, looking at Eliott angrily. That asshole was laughing, enjoying that he was the leader of this situation, just like always. Lucas hated him for that too.

“I’m gonna kill you for this.” he hissed, making sure he is far enough from this creep.

“You really are just an angry hedgehog, huh?” he said smirking, wiping off a tear that came out while he was laughing.  _ **The fucker**_. “Why don’t you just admit it that you have a crush on me?” he asked smirking. “Then I could reject you and keep teasing you like this.” 

Lucas clenched his fists in anger. The thing he hated the most about Eliott that somehow he knew about Lucas’ sexuality. They never talked about it and he only said things like this when no one could hear them, but still. It made Lucas feel kind of like he doesn’t have to pretend around him, which was annoying. Why on earth was this guy who just knew the real Lucas under the thick layers of lies? It was unfair.

“Not like it’s your business, but you are definietly not my type.” Lucas said. At least with Eliott he didn’t had to pretend, because he hated him the most. 

“You say that now, but I saw how you looked at me during lunch.” he said with a wide smile, his fingers drumming on the table. 

“I was just fucking staring and you came into the picture. Ruining the view actually.” he said, looking into Eliott’s eyes with a serious face. Eliott now stopped the drumming and his smile was gone. He leaned forward, which made Lucas to lean back, needing to hold onto the table, so he won’t fall off his chair. 

“Careful what you say,  _Lallemant_. You will regret it in the future.” he said quietly, giving Lucas goosebumps. Then he lent back in his chair and turned forward as the teacher entered the room. Lucas let out a frustrated sigh, which seemed to satisfy Eliott. ** _I’m gonna kill him._**

At the end of the day, Lucas felt so exhausted, he just wanted to go home, lay on his bed and relax. He really hoped he had some food left in the fridge, because he was starving. He sat down to the bench at the bus stop, scrolling through instagram while he was waiting. some of his friends posted pictures, he saw some stupid ads too. His fingers really wanted to search on Eliott, he knew he had an instagram, but he never actually saw his page. He was about to type in his name, when he heard a crowd of giggling girls walking towards the bus stop, surrounding Eliott like he was some kind of celebrity.

Lucas couldn’t understand why he was going with a bus, when he could probably easily afford to just drive to school. A guy like Eliott must have had a drivers licence and a car. They arrived and the girls stopped just by the bench, laughing, chit-chating, jumping on their feet, trying to use every opportunity to touch Eliott. The guy was standing in the middle, smiling brightly, talking about some stupid project he was working on. Of course this guy was also an artist, like Lucas didn’t have enough reason to hate him already.

He tried to act like he wasn’t there, ignoring the group, still staring at his phone. His legs were fidgeting as he just wanted to get on the bus, go home, eat and sleep finally. And just like a miracle from God itself, the bus arrived. Lucas jumped up from the bench, rushing on the bus and stopping close to the back door. He heard Eliott saying goodbye to the girls and stepping inside too.  ** _Shit_**. Lucas hoped that he will take the next one at least.

Lucas refused to look at Eliott, who was probably staring at him, he could  **feel**  it. That asshole always stared at Lucas, probably tried to embarrass him, or just burn a hole into his chest. He had the most piercing blue eyes and Lucas was sure he was aware of that. On his way home, he was holding the handrail with one hand and looking through his phone with the other. He stared at the invitation for fridays party. It was only tuesday, but his stomach flipped just by thinking about it. He hated parties, but he liked to get free booze and smoke with the boys. Arthur always had weed for them.

He was so busy looking at his phone, that he missed the stop where he was supposed to get off the bus. He cursed under his breath, putting away his phone. At the next stop, he got off and noticed Eliott. He looked at the sky, wishing to just sink into the ground.  ** _Why me? Why today?_**

“So, now you’re following me? Not just watching from afar?” Eliott asked with that annoying smirk, walking a few steps towards Lucas. 

“I just got distracted and missed my stop.” he said, fixing the scarf in his neck. It was still pretty cold outside, even though March just started. Eliott was wearing a brown jacket over his black hoodie, holding the backpack strap with his left hand, while the other was in his pocket. 

“It’s pretty cold, you shouldn’t be out for long.” he said suddenly, staring at the giant scarf. He must have had the idea that Lucas doesn’t like cold. Which was obviously true, but he couldn’t let Eliott think that. 

“I’ll be fine, I will walk home from here.” he mumbled, turning around.

“Or you could come to my place.” Eliott said, which made Lucas to turn back, looking at him wide-eyed. “It’s closer, and you can come back here to take the bus back.” 

“I have no idea why you would want to offer that to me, but I am not going any closer to your place.” Lucas said seriously. Eliott sighed and run his fingers through his own hair, making it even more messy than it was before.

“I was trying to be nice.”

“Yeah, not buying it.” 

Eliott smiled at him, not with that cocky, annoying smile like always, this one reached his eyes. He looked even more handsome than before. Lucas quickly gave himself a slap on the face in his thoughts. He can’t think of Eliott as handsome. That went against his ideology.

“You coming to the party on friday?” he asked. For some reason none of them wanted to leave their spot, just stayed there at the bus stop, staring at each other, or in Lucas’ case, staring at the ground. 

“I have to, the guys want to go.” Lucas mumbled, holding onto the straps of his backpack, hoping that it would save him from this terrible situation. He was really hungry and cold, plus he had Eliott to deal with. Day can’t get shittier.

“See you on friday then.” he said suddenly, which made Lucas to raise his head and look at him. Eliott now looked like a lost animal, looking for help. He swallowed and took a few steps backwards. Eliott kept staring at him, his eyes looked like the clouds before the storm. 

“Yeah.” Lucas mumbled, before he quickly did a 180° spin and started to walk home. He couldn’t get out of his head the look Eliott had before he walked away.  ** _Why was he like that? Why was he saying such things? What kind of game is he playing?_**

Lucas was sitting in his last class, it was friday. He felt nervous all day, and he found it super strange that Eliott were basically gone after they talked on tuesday. The girls said that he is sick. He didn’t asked, just heard them talking. Eliott was a pretty popular topic amongst the girls, even if it was Emma and her friends. They were cool, funny and pretty, each one of them. Lucas liked to hang out with them since Daphné came up with the idea of the common room. It was a nice thing, Lucas liked to spend his free time there, a bit away from the boys, trying to forget that he’s living a life built on lies.

When he heard the bell, he stuffed his books into his backpack, zipping it up and leaving the classroom. He quickly walked to his locker, putting on his jacket and scarf. It was really windy today, kind of dark because of the thick, stormy clouds on the sky. The colors of them reminded him of Eliott’s eyes. He shook his head.  ** _Why the fuck I am thinking of him?_**

The books he didn’t needed for the weekend stayed in his locker, the others went to his bag. He was almost ready to leave, when his friends arrived, jumping around him like 5 year olds, yelling about the party tonight.

“It’s gonna be great! I am getting myself a girl, I can feel it.” Basile said with a lot of confidence. Arthur was smiling, pating his shoulder. 

“Of course. And there will be free booze.” he said and lowered his voice now. “I’ll bring joints too.” he whispered and Lucas felt much better now. Knowing that he can get high and forget all his problems sounded much better. Eliott probably won’t even be on the party if he’s really sick. 

“Sounds good to me.” Lucas said with a little smile, Yann gently poked him with his elbow.

“Look at that, our precious Lulu is smiling. Are you looking forward to the party now?” he asked smirking. Obviously Yann was the most hyped out of all of them, because he had this girl in his math class that he liked and she was coming to the party too. His relationship with Emma was the past and the three of them, Yann, Emma and Lucas were really good friends. A power trio. 

“I just wanna get drunk or high, no special reasons.” Lucas shrugged, but smiled at his best friend. Sometimes it was painful how he was lying to Yann, but he couldn’t tell him about his sexuality, or that he is struggling with money, with his flatmates or with his mother. He just couldn’t. 

“Sure. Then we will meet at Alex’s at 19:00, right?” Arthur asked, making sure everyone knew the place and time. The boys nodded and all of them went on their own way. Yann wanted to skateboard a little before going home, Basile and Arthur went to get their bikes, Lucas walked to the bus stop. 

He waited there, looking at his phone like always. It was cold, but bearable. The wind wasn’t as bad as in the morning, but he kept his scarf on, just to make sure. He didn’t wanted to get sick and miss classes, he was already stupid enough and his friends weren’t exactly smart enough to help him through the exams.

When he arrived at Alex’s place, the house was already filled with people, he could see the wild lights shining through the windows and the loud music were bursting out as their friend opened the door for them. Alex was a really popular and handsome student, one of the coolest guys, and he was in third year too. Lucas made friends with him when he fucked things up between Yann and Emma. It turned out that he isn’t that big of an asshole and looked like he really cared for Emma. They were in a weird, open relationship since a while now, but they always ended up in each others arms. It was lovely.

All four of them walked in, the kitchen was filled with all kinds of booze, the living room was the dance floor, people talked, kissed on the hallways and probably some of them planned to do other things in the bathroom or even in one of the bedrooms. Lucas took off his jacket and scarf, putting them on the hanger by the door, most of the people just threw theirs on a couch or something, the place was a mess. The music was loud, banging in Lucas’ ears, pounding on his chest. His head already felt dizzy, even though he haven’t had a single drop of alcohol.

They went to the kitchen immediately, grabbing a bottle of beer and chatting there while drinking it. It was important to get into party mood before any of them goes to the dance floor. Basile was basically drooling over any girl he saw, while Yann looked for his crush in the crowd. Arthur rolled a sweet joint for him and Lucas on the counter, he preferred to get high rather than getting drunk and that’s why Lucas loved to party with him.

After a couple of beers for Yann and Basile and two joints for Arthur and Lucas, all of them were in a party mood. Yann seemed to find his crush and the courage to talk to her, Basile decided to go after some hot girl, talking nonsense to him,while Arthur followed him to help his stupid friend out in such a serious situation.

Lucas was left in the kitchen, high as a kite, drinking coke and watching the dancing crowd. His mind was cloudy, his eyes couldn’t really focus, but that was totally okay. He let the weed to take the controll over his body and brain. It was good to just feel happy and not that constant stress he was living in.

Long minutes passed, probably even an hour when he felt a soft touch on his shoulder, he didn’t even notice that he closed his eyes. He slowly looked to his side and if the weed wouldn’t made him so light headed, he would have been running away that second. Eliott was there, looking stunning like always, he had a black shirt and a denim jacket on, sleeves rolled up, beer in his hands. He was wearing deep blue jeans, but his eyes… Lucas could lost in those fucking eyes.

“Looks like this grumpy hedgehog is high above the coulds today.” Eliott said, clearly amused by the confused look on Lucas’ face. 

“I thought you are sick.” that was the best he could come up with in his foggy mind, trying not to drool over his asshole, because he sure was the most beautiful human being in this house right now. Eliott laughed and leaned his hip to the kitchen counter. He sure knew how to position his body to make him look even better. 

“Were you worried?” he asked with that annoying, cocky smile. Lucas wanted to punch him in the face, but he would probably end up falling into Eliott’s arms, which didn’t seem a bad idea in his fucked up mind, but it was  **really**  bad. 

“Why would I?” he said angrily, leaning to the fridge that was behind him. He felt like he can’t keep himself on his feet. “You are fucking annoying.” he mumbled, taking a sip from his drink. 

“You don’t seem to enjoy the party. Why are you here?” he asked now, drinking from his beer, looking at the mass of people imitating dance in the living room. 

“You are the one who spends his time picking on a loser like me instead of getting a girl and bang somewhere in the house.” Lucas said bitterly. He was just really frustrated around Eliott and words were coming out of his mouth without warning. He will totally regret everything tomorrow.

“Why are you saying that?” he tilted his head, taking a few steps towards Lucas. The boy had to lay his head back to look into Eliott’s eyes, he was really tall, and he had a nice smell too.  ** _What the fuck am I thinking? Shut up!_**

“Saying what?” it wasn’t easy to talk when one and a half joint worked in your body mixed with two bottles of beer. Also being so close to a stunning guy seemed to make everything 10 times worse.  ** _Fucking Demaury._**

“That you are a loser.” Eliott said, taking another step forward. Lucas started to panic now, he didn’t feel good anyways, but being around this guy made everything worse. 

Without thinking he stepped to the side to get away from Eliott, but thanks to the weed, he was still clumsy and tripped in his own foot. Things happened fast, first he was falling to the kitchen floor, then the next thing he remembers is a dark shirt and a warm chest under it, long, strong arms around his body.

“Woah, careful there. I don’t want you to hit your head. Wouldn’t be good for your already shitty grades.” he whispered smirking, letting grumpy Lucas go, when he pushed him a couple times. “I’ll get you a taxi, you gotta go home.”

“Don’t you fucking dare making decisions for me.” Lucas said angrily and pushed Eliott again. He had so much frustration inside him, he had to let out on someone. “You think you are so perfect, that you can charm anyone, then go ahead, but leave me out of this shit! I have enough problems without this bullshit.” he basically screamed and for once he was glad that the music was so loud. No one heard his words.

Eliott looked at him, eyes filled with concern, looking for answers on Lucas’ face, searching for something. This was already too much, Lucas had to get away from here. He took a deep breath, fighting against the dizziness in his head. He left the kitchen without a word, walking towards the door. He put on his jacket, but forgot the scarf, he was too upset to remember things like that.

The fresh, biting air was definietly good for him, so he enjoyed it and walked to the furthest bus stop. His mind was filled with Eliott and he just hated that. He wanted to get him out of his head. He can’t have a crush on him, he can’t feel anything, because Eliott is just an asshole who plays with other people’s feelings. He sighed and was glad when the bus arrived, it was almost 5:00. The boy was angry, hungry and tired.  ** _Eliott…_**


	2. You're surprising

##  **You are surprising**

 

Lucas woke up with a terrible headache, feeling sick. He walked to the bathroom, taking in a painkiller and brushing his teeth. He could feel the smell of sweat and alcohol on himself. His face looked like a car accident with some horseshit on top of it. He walked back to the couch where he was sleeping, he hoped that Mika has to work today, so he won’t be bothering him. Lisa usually spent the weekends in her room anyways. Manon was still upset because of her breaking up with Charles, so she didn’t really came out of her room during weekends either. 

He laid down, trying to ignore the terrible sound of his “bed”. It wasn’t really uncomfortable and considering that he barely could pay the rent, it was more than he could have asked for. He pulled the blanket over his head. His legs felt numb now, his stomach was tiny, his chest hurt. He knew it was just his anxiety trying to take over, but it still freaked him out. Feeling so empty was just the worst. 

As he was struggling with his apathy, flashes of last night started to hunt his brain. He barely remembered anything after the first joint he smoke with Arthur. He could feel a touch of warm hands on his shoulder, a nice smell coming into his nose, stormy blue eyes appearing in his mind. Lucas pulled up his knees to his chest, still staying under the blanket. He wanted to stop thinking about it, but flashes of Eliott just kept coming. 

His happy smile, the way he looked at Lucas when they were in the bus stop, the feeling of his arms around him. His warm and strong chest, his messy hair and oh, those damn blue eyes. Lucas wanted to scream, rip out his brain and just throw it away. He was feeling everything and nothing at the same time. He hated this.

 

It was a real struggle going to school on monday, especially since he spend his sunday arguing with Mika. He was telling Lucas how lazy and useless he was around the house, that he was supposed to take care of the dishes on saturday and clean the bathroom, but he didn’t do it. Lucas was far beyond the point where he tried to explain things to his flatmate, because it was pointless. And Mika was also done with Lucas’ bullshit. They both knew that Lucas wasn’t being honest, but since the younger one refused to talk about his problems, Mika couldn’t do anything for him. 

He walked to his locker, taking out the books he needed and putting in the ones he doesn’t need until afternoon. He was so busy with packing, he didn’t notice the person appearing by his side, leaning to the lockers, arms crossed in front of his chest. When he closed the door of his locker, he jumped back, looking like a deer caught in headlight. Eliott smirked at him, eyes sparkling like the summer sky. 

“Morning.” He said on a soft tone, looking excited. Lucas had no idea why he was acting like this and he didn’t even wanted to know. “Are you okay?”

“Someone definitely overdosed you this morning, Demaury.” he said with a suspicious look on his face. 

“I think it was you who got a bit too overdosed on friday.” he said, still with that annoying smile on his face. 

“Thank you for reminding me of that.” he said, rolling his eyes. He was hugging his backpack to his chest, hoping that Eliott will finally leave, so he can breathe a little. 

“You didn’t even let me get you a taxi. But I can see you got home safe.” he said, reaching his hand out to put a stray lock of hair behind Lucas’ ear. The smaller boy jumped a little, taking a step back. Eliott seemed to be amused by that.  ** _Fuck you, Demaury._**

“Don’t touch me.” he said angrily. 

Eliott was ready to answer when someone walked to them, punching his shoulder gently. It was Alex, smiling brightly, ruffling his friends hair, which made Eliott’s smile to turn into a grumpy expression.

“Morning, Eliott.” he said happily and then looked at Lucas, giving him a fistbump. “Morning, Lulu.” 

“Good morning, Alex.” Lucas said with a soft smile, it always cheered him up how this guy was acting like Lucas was his younger brother. 

“What do you want, dude?” Eliott asked a bit annoyed, Lucas was surprised how his enthusiasm were gone now. He seemed to be annoyingly happy just a couple minutes ago. 

“I am not here because of you.” Alex said and handed Lucas the scarf he left at his place on friday. “Here, I guess this one is yours, Lulu.” He said smiling, ignoring the piercing stare he got from Eliott. Lucas smiled happily, he totally forgot about his scarf, and it was kinda cold today, so he will need it for sure. He grabbed it and stuffed into his bag. 

“Thanks, Alex. I thought I lost it forever.” 

“Next time make sure you don’t leave it behind.” he said softly, ruffling Lucas’ hair. The short one chuckled, he really felt like the younger brother of Alex, it made his day a bit less shitty. 

“I will, thank you.” 

“No worries.” Alex said and walked away with a big smile on his face. Lucas was still smiling, looking back at Eliott, who seemed to be really upset now. He tilted his head, looking into those stormy eyes.  ** _He’s so fucking handsome_**.

“What’s wro…”

“Whatever, I’m going to class.” Eliott said, walking away just as quickly as he appeared. Lucas was watching him a bit shocked and confused.  ** _He is just as weird as good looking._**

 

Days passed and Lucas haven’t see Eliott much, only on their literature class, but he was strangely quiet, barely even said hi to Lucas. The small boy was a bit concerned about his behavior, not admitting to himself that he was actually worried. 

On wednesday he got a message from his mother, a short verse from the bible, including the fires of hell and some other shit like that. Lucas tried to forget about it. He had to text his father to remind him that he needed to pay the rent. His parents were just the worst, even though his mother wasn’t like this on purpose, it felt like he had no one to rely on. 

He was already very frustrated, so after his classes he decided to go to the common room. He had no patience to listen to Mika’s bullshit and he had no chores to do today anyways. He walked in, but the girls weren’t there. He was surprised, but also glad. It was nice to be finally alone, letting go of himself and forgetting the lies he was building each day. 

He looked at the piano in the corner, right in front of that terrible mural. Daphné was planning to repaint it, she had a lot of ideas to redecorate the common room, maybe that’s why they weren’t here. He could remember Emma saying that they wanted to get some stuff for Daphné’s plans this week. 

His steps were unsure a bit, but then he decided to  _fuck it_  and walked to the piano, sitting down on the little bench in front of it. He opened the key lid, looking at the black and white keyboard. He haven’t played in a long time now, since they didn’t have a piano at the flat, but he loved to learn playing the piano, making his mom smile with some silly or happy music. 

He was searching for melodies in his head, he remembered a complicated piece from a couple years ago. He was supposed to go to a competition with it, but his mom snapped just a day before, so he had to take care of her. He put his fingers on the keys, they were cold, but made him feel warm in his chest. A bit of nostalgia crawled its way up inside him and this time he let it to take over. He took a deep breath and started to play. 

His mind got lost into the song, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the freedom he felt spreading in his chest. He forgot about his pain, his worries, his lies, he was just living with the music his fingers created on the instrument. It was really magical and he felt sad when the song ended. He wished it could go on forever, to just sit here and keep playing the piano until the end of the world. 

He stopped playing, opening his eyes when he heard slow clapping, he jumped, turning around quickly to see Eliott Demaury himself standing in the door of the common room. He was standing there a while now, cause his bag was in front of his legs, not on his back. He was wearing dark jeans that were ripped at the knee parts, a black shirt and his usual hoodie jacket combo. But the thing that catched Lucas’ attention was his stunning smile and those piercing eyes. They were filled with so much emotion, focusing on Lucas like he was the only person on the whole world. 

“That was awesome.” Eliott said after a minute of clapping. 

Lucas didn’t know what to say, just watched as Eliott grabbed the straps of his bag, walking inside and closing the door behind him. He felt his heart beating faster as the boy got closer and closer. Finally he was standing in front of Lucas, looking down at him, still with that weird expression on his face. He couldn’t decide what he saw in those eyes, they looked like the sea on a really windy day, filled with waves of emotions. 

“You are surprising.” he said, looking into Lucas’ eyes.

“I wasn’t expecting anyone to hear it.” He mumbled, finally able to find his voice, but that was basically all he could push out. He was just in total panic thanks to the tall boy, stading so close to him. His neck was hurting because of looking up at him, but he didn’t wanted to break eyecontact.

“Didn’t know you can play piano. I wonder if there’s anything else you keep in secret.” he said with a soft, teasing smile.

“Not like you don’t know it already.” Lucas said, pointing out how Eliott knows about his sexuality.

“That was more of a guess. And you made my suspicions turn out to be right with how you reacted to me.” he said smiling. Lucas could punch him in the face. How dare he be so stunningly sweet? That was illegal. 

“I hate you so much.” Lucas mumbled, blaming his own stupidity for letting Eliott indirectly know that he is gay. The tall boy chuckled, running his fingers through his own hair, looking at Lucas happily.

“I know that.” he said smiling. 

“Why are you here?” Lucas couldn’t find a better question to ask, his brain was fucking him up so bad. Eliott’s smell was crawling into his nose, the flashes from friday night started to haunt him again. He remembered Eliott’s arms around his body, holding him so carefully, but still strongly. He remembered the warmth of his body and his breath on his neck. He got goosebumps just thinking about it. 

“I was on my way going home, then I heard the music. When I saw you sitting here, playing the piano… I just couldn’t leave.” he explained. 

Lucas felt his heart skipping a beat, he couldn’t tell why, but it made him happy that Eliott wanted to stay and listen to his music. They were staring at each other for long minutes, he had no idea who took the first move, but their face was so close now that he felt Eliott’s breath on his lips. He closed his eyes, lips opening a little. He was just following the moment, not thinking about what he was about to do. Their lips almost touched, when they heard a loud banging. 

Eliott pulled back, putting his bag on his shoulder, looking really lost and avoiding to look into the other boy’s eyes. The girls walked into the common room, bringing lots of special stuff with them, chatting and laughing loudly. They were already inside when they noticed the boys. Lucas quickly closed the lid of the piano. Manon and Emma were too busy talking, but Daphné smiled at them softly. 

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting of you guys to be here.” she said softly. “We got some supplies to redecorate the common room.” 

“That’s amazing, Daphy.” Lucas said softly, trying to forget about that moment with Eliott, which was hard considering that said boy was standing just a few meters away from him. 

“I was just… I heard you wanna repaint that shit.” Eliott said, pointing at the mural. “If you need help with it, I can try to make something better to cover it.” he offered with a little smile now. He looked at Lucas, who was staring at him in awe. Eliott repainting the mural?  ** _How can he be so fucking perfect?_**

“Oh really?” Daphné asked with that bright smile of her. “That is so generous of you! I would love that.” she said excitedly. “I was actually worried, since I didn’t wanted to just repaint it to a certain color, but none of us is really the artistic type, y’know.” she said looking at the girls. They were packing stuff out of bags and boxes, discussing where to put all those, how to start the decoration. 

“I’ll let you know when I have free time to do it.” Eliott said. “I gotta go now. See you.” he said, but when he said the last two words, he was looking at Lucas only, which made the boy gasp. Then Eliott disappeared behind the door and he stayed there with the girls. He joined them in the packing, trying to get into the conversation, so he wouldn’t be thinking about that he  _almost kissed Eliott fucking Demaury_. 

 

It was really late, Lucas was staring at his phone, more specifically a picture of Eliott on instagram. It was just a simple selfie, he looked into the camera, his hair was messy, he had dark circles around his eyes like always. He wasn’t smiling, well not the way he smiled at Lucas. It was just a half-smirk playing on his lips. The caption said: “Missing you”.

He posted it like 6 hours ago, not much after he left the common room. People in the comments were freaking out, mostly girls. They were guessing who the caption could be about, asking questions, but Eliott didn’t reply to any of those. Lucas didn’t know what to think about all this. He had a weird feeling that the caption was about him, but he didn’t wanted to think about that. He can’t have feelings for Eliott, not a good idea.  ** _What if I already feel something?_**

Lucas showed his phone under his pillow, closing his eyes, but all he could see was Eliott’s face. His eyes while he was clapping, smiling at Lucas. His face before they leant close to each other. The smell of Eliott kept haunting him, it was infuriating. 

He spent long hours, suffering from his own thoughts. This caused him to sleep only 3 or 4 hours. He drank two mugs of black coffee in the morning before going to school. It wasn’t the best idea, but he had to stay awake and function in school somehow. 

 

Literature was his third class, but Lucas still looked like a walking dog poop. His eyelids tried to close every fifth minute, his limbs felt heavy, he sat down to his place, totally not noticing that Eliott is there. His mind could only process one thing at a time, and that was him trying not to fall asleep. 

He jumped a little when a warm hand touched his shoulder, looking to his left and seeing Eliott made his face feel suddenly really hot. First he thought it was embarrassment, but then he felt dizzy, not understanding what Eliott was saying to him. His eyes closed, his body was falling, ending up in strong arms. They everything ceased to exist and Lucas enjoyed the nothing surrounding him.

 

Quiet noises made him open his eyes, he wasn’t sure where he was, but he laid in a bed, having a blanket on him, but still wearing his indoor outfit, so he was definitely not home. His eyelids felt heavy, his head was spinning, but he slowly opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was a pair of blue eyes. His heart was fluttering of the thought that Eliott was there with him.

“Hey, how are you?” he asked softly, he looked relieved now that Lucas was conscious again. 

“I feel dizzy.” he said honestly, struggling to put his body into sitting position. He could see that Eliott wasn’t happy that he moved so much, but didn’t do anything to stop him. “What happened?” 

“You fainted in class.” he said simply. His eyes were dark, filled with worry which made Lucas smile a little. 

“Yeah, that makes sense.” he mumbled and laid back on the soft pillows. It felt good to finally get some rest in a real bed and not on a goddamn couch. “Sorry that you had to take care of me.” he said now, hugging the blanket on his body, looking at every little expression the other one makes. 

“Yeah, I had to carry you here, it wasn’t easy.” he said with a soft smile. “You owe me a lot,  _Lallemant_.” the way he said Lucas’ name gave him goosebumps.

“Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah, you can make it up with…”

“Lulu!” Arthur, Yann and Basile stormed into the nursing room loudly, running to the bed, surrounding Lucas, asking questions, talking to fast for him to understand.

“Hey! Hey! Guys, I am fine, but calm down! I can’t understand shit.” he said, raising his hand to stop his friends talking. From the corner of his eyes he saw Eliott leaving, using that the boys were focused on Lucas. Of course he didn’t wanted to stay.  ** _Why would he wanna stay with such a loser as you, Lucas?_**

He told his friends what happened, trying to avoid mentioning Eliott. Luckily they were focused on the fact that Lucas fainted and asked if he was sick. He told them that he has some trouble sleeping, but other than that he was fine. Well, they were asking about his physical health, so he actually wasn’t lying to them this time. 

 

He spent the rest of the day in the nursing room, resting and thinking about Eliott. He went home around 16:20, the school doctor made sure he got food, enough water and anything else. She was really nice to Lucas, which was a fresh thing after all the things he had to endure at the flat and from his parents. 

He was laying on the couch, the others were either not home or working, he had no idea, but he enjoyed the silence. He looked at his phone and noticed that he got a message, it was a DM on instagram, from Eliott himself. He swallowed before he opened the app to see the message.

**srodulv**  
You still owe me  
Did you get home safe? 

Lucas smirked like an idiot, seeing those messages and just enjoying the fact that this asshole at least a little bit cared for him. It was such a good feeling, his heart was beating faster, his palms were sweaty. He had to wipe them before typing a reply to Eliott.

**lucallemant**  
I’ll make it up to you, don’t worry  
I’m home now, laying on the couch

**srodulv**  
You should be in bed, not on the couch

**lucallemant**  
The couch is my bed

He wasn’t really thinking before sending that message. That was just so pathetic and lame. He ruined the mood totally and after long minutes without any sign from Eliott, he knew that it was a stupid idea telling the truth. 

**srodulv**  
You don’t have a bed?

**lucallemant**  
there’s only three room in the flat and we’re four  
I am the one who got the couch

**srodulv**  
Isn’t that a little unfair? 

**lucallemant**  
It sucks, but I barely can pay the rent, so it’s more than what I deserve

**srodulv**  
You deserve so much more

**lucallemant**  
Are you sure this is Eliott Demaury? I’m starting to think someone hacked your insta 

**srodulv**  
Very funny  
Go to sleep, Lallemant

**lucallemant**  
Sure, see you

**srodulv**  
See you 

Lucas put down his phone next to his pillow, but then picked it up again, reading their conversation over and over. He just couldn’t believe his eyes, but it was true. And maybe… just maybe he was right about that insta post. His heart started racing again, making it impossible for him to fall asleep, so instead he just went to Eliott’s profile, liking that last post. He closed his eyes, putting his phone down now. He haven’t feel so happy in a long time now.


	3. You still owe me

##  **You still owe me**

 

Lucas woke up happily the next day. For other people it could have been the vibe of friday, but for him it was different. The first thing he did was to check his phone. He got a few notifications on facebook, some likes on instagram, but no messaged. He didn’t let that to ruin his mood. He got out of his “bed” and walked to the kitchen, only wearing briefs. 

Mika was already there, wearing a red shirt and grey sweatpants, drinking coffee while leaning to the kitchen counter. As Lucas walked in, mumbling a quiet “Morning”, his flatmate slapped his butt playfully, while whistling at him. 

“What a nice ass you got there, kitten.” he said smirking. Usually Lucas would shut him down, but today he was in a good mood, so he just chuckled and grabbed his mug, pouring some coffee in it. Mika was utterly shocked by his behavior. “Oh, my! What happened to you, Dear Kitten? You got laid or something?” he asked, trying to analize the expression on Lucas’ face. 

“No, I’m just feeling good today.” he said, taking a sip of his hot drink, enjoying the taste of pure caffeine. 

“Well, whatever or whoever made you so happy, it could happen more often. I definitely like the happy kitty more than the grumpy one.” Mika said with a soft smile and right now, Lucas could totally agree with him. He himself felt much better in his body too. 

 

When he got to the school, he saw the boys on the schoolyard, talking and laughing. He walked to them, giving a fistbump to Yann and Arthur, leaving Basile out again. It was just so natural, he didn’t even think about it. 

“You look better today, Lulu.” Arthur said with a soft smile. 

“I’m feeling better for sure.” he said. “I slept like a baby last night.” he admitted.

The boys continued their talk about whatever they were speaking before Lucas arrived, trying to involve him too. They weren’t really successful, since the short boy catched a familiar, very handsome face among the other students. His eyes met those sky blue ones, which made his heart beat faster. Eliott smiled at him, raising his eyebrows, like he’s trying to flirt with Lucas. They were far from each other, but at that moment it was like nothing was between them. 

Lucas was so lost in Eliott’s eyes, he felt like he’s floating on water, feeling free and careless. A little smile appeared on his face, which made Eliott’s eyes widen, his lips forming into a huge smirk. Lucas felt the blush appearing on his face, so he quickly looked away, trying to join into the conversation with his friends. 

 

Later the day he was still in a good mood, feeling butterflies in his stomach when he remembered that his class just before lunch break was literature.  ** _With Eliott…_**  He grabbed his stuff, walking into the classroom. Eliott was sitting at their table, there was a book in front of him, but he was just staring out of the window with a dreamy expression on his face. The sun was lighting up his face, making his eyes look like two beautiful pool of clear water. 

Lucas made sure he was taking in all the beauty and handsomeness of this boy, before sitting down next to him. Eliott turned when he heard the noise of the chair moving next to him. He looked at the short boy, lips forming a soft smile. 

“Hey there!” 

“Hey!” Lucas mumbled shyly. He couldn’t say anything else, seeing Eliott like this, so early in the day just made him speechless.

“You look good today.” Eliott said, which made Lucas gasp for air. He wasn’t expecting something like this from him, so he just looked at him with wide eyes, not believing what he just heard. Eliott laughed, putting his forearm on the table. “I love these expressions you make.” he said smirking, which made Lucas frown his eyebrows and crossing his arms. 

“Excuse me?” 

“You know, I can make a lot of people blush, mostly girls, but I will never get bored of your reactions.” he said smiling. Lucas had to admit that he looked even more handsome like that.  ** _Fucking hell._**

 “You are fucking annoying.” Lucas said now, looking grumpy. He decided to face forward, not looking at the other, he was doing it for an experiment.  ** _What are you going to do now, Demaury?_**  

He saw from the corner of his eyes that Eliott is searching for his phone, pulling it out from his back pocket. He seemed to be busy, typing something to someone. Lucas was feeling something in his throat, his stomach got tiny all of the sudden. He was regretting that he decided to ignore Eliott, because he seemed to found something much better to do. At least he thought that until he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. He grabbed it, opening the message he got and he almost choked on air. It was a message from Eliott.  ** _Are you serious right now?_**

**srodulv**  
Look, I found a picture of you

 

Lucas had to cover his mouth to cover his giggle. Eliott was such a stupid asshole, but he kinda liked how he did some things. This was in fact pretty funny. He couldn’t remember when Eliott started to call him hedgehog, probably back in first year when he had much shorter hair than he does now. It was around the time when they got to hate each other. 

He couldn’t clearly remember why he started to be so annoyed by Eliott’s presence, it just happened one day. Everything he did made Lucas upset, especially when he was flirting with the girls. Daphné was always giggly and shy around Eliott in first year, Alexia basically undressed him with her eyes all the time. It pissed him off, because those girls were too good for such a douchebag. 

He shook his head, coming back to reality. He stared at the grumpy hedgehog on his phone. He was sure Eliott was fidgeting on his seat, not knowing what Lucas thinks of his stupid message. He let himself have a half smile, then he put away his phone without answering. This time he will be the one that controls the situation. He heard Eliott letting out an annoyed sigh. It made him feel victorious.

 

Later the day Lucas joined the girls in the common room, helping them make some decorations. He was painting some wooden chairs, making them look much better than they actually are. Alexia and Imane were working on decorative lightings, Emma and Manon were decorating the shelves with cute statues, vases with flowers, stuff like that. Daphné was sitting at the table, making plans, looking through her folder she made. It was really thick, full of pages filled with pictures cut out of magazines, printed out or drawed by hand. She seemed to take this thing really seriously. 

Lucas was so occupied with painting the chairs, he didn’t notice the buzzing of his phone. Not like he could check it, since his hands were covered in pink and yellow paint anyways. When he finished, he walked to the bathroom, trying to take off the colors, but it wasn’t as easy as he thought it would be. After long minutes of scrubbing, his arms were still stained. He sighed and decided to leave it for now, it was friday anyways, so he will have the weekend to take it off.

He walked back to the girls, they were all sitting at the table now, inviting Lucas to join them, so he sat down next to Manon, who offered him a cupcake that was made by Daphné. He accepted it and was chewing on it, while he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He opened instagram and noticed that someone tagged im on a picture. It was manon, she made a photo of him as he was painting the chairs with a serious face, like it was the most important task he ever had to do in his life. The caption said: “ _The only guy we trust_ ”. He rolled his eyes and looked at Manon.

“Seriously, girl? What is this picture?” he asked, showing his flatmate his phone. 

“Isn’t it adorable? You were so focused, I had to make a picture.” Manon said smiling.

“And post it on instagram?” 

“You know if it’s not on the internet, it never happened.” Alexia said, drinking some pink liquid from a bottle. 

“That’s true.” Emma said smirking.

Lucas just rolled his eyes again, but decided to like the picture. Manon was just so caring and soft, he couldn’t be mad at her, and the picture wasn’t bad at all. He had much more embarrassing pictures on his own profile, so he had nothing to worry about. After that he looked at his messages, there was a new one from Eliott.

**srodulv**  
That pink paint looks good on you

Lucas’ heart was beating faster, he still haven’t replied to the hedgehog message, so seeing that Eliott trying to reach out again made him feel happy and a little satsfied with himself. Now he was the one in charge. 

**lucallemant**  
I still have some on my hands, that shit is not coming off easily

**srodulv**  
Oil can be really helpful 

**lucallemant**  
oh really? I will try that out when I get home

**srodulv**  
I was actually wondering if you wanna hang out  
I have some beer and a joint to smoke

Lucas had to really control himself not to jump up from his seat and leave the girls immediately. Spending time with Eliott AND smoking weed? What else could top that? He took a deep breath, finishing his cupcake. He totally forgot to reply to the message, so he was surprised when he got another one. 

**srodulv**  
Or maybe some other day, whatever is good for you

**lucallemant**  
No, I’m fine  
I’ll say bye to the girls and go

**srodulv**  
I’ll wait for you at the bus stop 

**lucallemant**  
Cool

**srodulv**  
Cool

Lucas got up from his chair now, saying bye to the girls. Daphné even got up and kissed him on the cheek. She was so sweet, Lucas liked her company a lot. He picked up his backpack and left the common room, walking to the bus stop. It seemed to be an eternity until his bus arrived, he was looking at his phone while he was traveling, reading his conversation with Eliott over and over again. He couldn’t believe it. Someone so handsome and popular as Eliott shouldn’t be flirting with Lucas. It basically went against the law of nature.  

When he got off the bus, he saw Eliott sitting on one of the seats. He was wearing a dark blue denim jacket over his hoodie this time, which made him look like a model. When he noticed Lucas, he smiled at him, stading up. The smaller boy was holding onto the straps of his backpack, because he wasn’t sure what to expect from this guy. 

“Hey!” Eliott said as he walked closer to Lucas, his eyes checking him out from head to toe. Lucas felt like he was completely exposed, with Eliott he had no walls around himself and it scared him a little. 

“Hey!” He mumbled, looking everywhere but in the other’s eyes. 

“You coming?” Eliott asked, starting to walk backwards, staring at Lucas with his beautiful blue eyes. 

Lucas sighed and smiled a little, going after Eliott, who now turned around, walking towards his apartment building. It only took a few minutes, none of them said anything, but it wasn’t awkward at all. The short boy wouldn’t even be able to form any kind of sentences right now, he was still struck by how perfect Eliott looked in that jacket. 

They got inside, Eliott opened the door to his flat, letting Lucas inside. He put his jacket on the hanger and told Lucas to get himself comfortable, while he brings them some beer. The small boy did that, walking to the living room. He put down his backpack near the wall, then took off his jacket, carefully putting it on the armchair that was next to the coffee table alongside another one and a couch on the opposite side. The place wasn’t big, but it seemed really nice. Lucas first noticed the few drawings on the wall, but then his eyes catched the piano right next to a bookshelf. He looked at Eliott when he came back with two bottles of beer, handing one to Lucas.

“You play the piano?” he asked, pointing at the instrument. 

“Not really.” Eliott chuckled and took a sip of his beer. “It was here when I moved in, haven’t really touched it.” he said honestly, looking into Lucas’ eyes. “You could play something on it.” 

Lucas swallowed, he was holding the beer so tightly that his knuckles were white. He looked at the piano, back to Eliott and he continued this for a whole minute, before he found his own voice to say something.  ** _Congratulations, Lucas. You are winning the game._**

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. I haven’t played in a while… well, except this wednesday, but that was just so random.” he said and now looked at the drawings on the wall, trying to change the topic. “You made these?”

“Yeah, but it was a while now, most of them are a year old.” he explained with a soft smile. 

Lucas checked out all of the arts when he noticed something on the top of the piano. It was a drawing of a hedgehog, the only color was the pink stains on his face and his hand. Lucas blinked, not believing his eyes first and he heard Eliott making a weird noise next to him, quickly reaching out and grabbing the paper, pulling it away from Lucas’ sight.

“That’s just… a doodle. I was bored.” he said, avoiding eyecontact with the small boy, which amused Lucas a lot.

“Yeah?” he smirked, drinking from his beer now. 

Eliott rolled his eyes, which was usually Lucas’ speciality, folding the paper and sliding it into his backpocket. He seemed to be kinda nervous, his bottle was almost empty, though they just started to drink. 

“Whatever, let’s smoke.” he said grabbing the joint that was sitting on his ear all this time. Lucas was too busy examining the apartment to notice that. 

They sat down on the couch, putting the beer bottles on the coffee tables. Eliott pulled out a lighter from his pocket, lighting the holy cigarette. Lucas was excited to get high with him, it might not have been the best idea, considering his mixed feelings towards the tall boy, but he was too whipped. Eliott put the cigarette in his mouth, breathing in the smoke, then handing it to Lucas. He grabbed it with a happy smile, taking it between his lips, but he almost choked, when this god damn model looking guy next to him decided to blow out a smoke ring.  ** _That was so fucking hot._**  

Eliott looked at Lucas, leaning back on the chouch, stretching his long legs under the coffee table. He seemed to look so different than in school. Usually he was the good looking, always cool and perfect student, but here he just seemed to be like everyone else: a carefree teenager. Lucas turned his body to the side, to see him better and he was leaning on the back of the couch like this too. They were listening to some chill music from Eliott’s phone, it was a nice background noise to their stupid laughter. Both of them were telling silly stories from their childhood. 

They were doing this for long minutes, probably for a couple of hours. There were a lot of empty bottles of the coffee table now, the air around them smelled like smoke, so Eliott decided to open the window. As he got up, Lucas had some time to breathe. It was so unbelieveable to sit here in Eliott Demaury’s living room, smoking weed, drinking beer and talking about his 6 year old self who got chewing gum stuck in his hair. 

“Are you hungry?” Eliott asked suddenly, leaning to the window as he looked at Lucas. His eyes were a little red because of the smoke. 

“Yeah, I am.” Lucas said, being surprised how he didn’t even notice his own hunger. Maybe because he was too busy watching this handsome boy laughing like a happy child, then blowing out smoke like a professional model. 

“I’ll go make some sandwiches in the kitchen.” he said smiling and started to walk now. Lucas got up, he was just a little bit tipsy, so he could still move without stumbling. 

“I’m coming with you.” he said, which made Eliott smile like an idiot.

“Okay.”

The kitchen was small, it only had a square wooden table with two chairs, so Lucas settled down there while Eliott was searching for stuff in the fridge and the cabinets. He seemed to be so occupied, even sticking his tongue out in the process. The small boy decided to check his phone now, letting his host to make those sandwiches peacefully. 

He got a couple notifications from instagram, he didn’t really care about that, but he also got a text from Manon. He just noticed that it was almost 21:00, he was here at Eliott’s place since 4 hours now? How is that possible? He quickly opened the message.

**From Manon**  
Hey, is everything ok? It’s getting late and you are still not home

**To Manon**  
Yeah, sorry, I am at Yann’s place, but I’ll be home soon

**From Manon**  
Okay then, next time tell me if you going out for so long, I was worried

**To Manon**  
I’m sorry, mom!

**From Manon**  
Very funny

Lucas smiled at his phone, feeling warmth in his chest. Manon was always the typical mom friend, but it was still making him happy how caring and kind she was with him. She was the one in the first place who offered Lucas to live with them in the apartment and even now that she took her room back, she tried her very best to make the boy feel welcomed there. It was nice, even with the struggles he had to go through with Mika or Lisa.

“Lucas?” a soft voice snapped him back from his phone to reality. He looked up, eyes widened, facing with the most beautiful guy on this planet, who was just a step away from him, leaning down so their heads will be at the same height.  ** _Oh, you smooth fucker._**  

“What?” 

“I was asking you something.” he said crossing his arms now. He seemed to be a bit frustrated. Was it because Lucas focused on his phone rather than him? It’s possible considering the huge ego this guy had. 

“Can you ask again? I wasn’t listening.” he said with little smirk, enjoying the expression that appeared on the tall boy’s face. 

“You are unbelieveable, Lallemant.” he said, frowning his eyebrows. “I’m inviting you to my place and you rather chit-chatting on your phone than listening to me?” 

“Come on now, we were talking for hours in the living room. I just wanted to check my messages.” he said, rolling his eyes at the childish behavior of Eliott.

“Your boyfriend can wait. We have more urgent things to discuss, like if you want ham or sausage slices on the sandwich?” he asked with a serious face. Lucas had to laugh, because he was really acting like a 5 year old who just got told that he can’t play with his favorite toy.

“I was answering Manon. She is worried that I’m not home yet.” he explained, being amused by the tall one’s concerned expression turning into something that was probably his realization of being overly dramatic. “And I want ham on my sandwich, with double cheese please.” he added smirking. 

Eliott took a deep breath and turned back to the bread on the kitchen counter, buttering the slices and putting ham and cheese on them. He didn’t look at Lucas, so the boy had a lot of time to observe him. It was really amusing to see him doing normal stuff, like making a sandwich. In the school he always seemed to be someone who only does things with elegance and perfection, but he was actually struggling with the damn butter or the package of the cheese. 

“Here you go.” he said, finally handing Lucas a plate with two sandwiches on it. He was staying at the counter, holding his own food. 

“Thanks.” he grabbed the plate and took a bite of the sandwich. Eliott watched him closely, making sure that he is not gonna choke on it or anything, at least for him it seemed like he was doing that. “You should eat too.” He said looking at the sandwich in Eliott’s hand.

“I was just… you have pink paint on your face.” he said, pointing at Lucas’ left cheek. 

“It got there before I washed my hands probably.” he mumbled, touching his cheek to look for the paint. 

He was so busy doing this that he didn’t noticed the long fingers slowly sliding on his face, cupping it gently. He raised his head, looking into deep blue eyes filled with desire and something Lucas couldn’t put into words. The world around them seemed to disappear, they were in their own little bubble, staring at each other, leaning closer by each second, until they could feel their breath on their lips. Lucas’ heart was beating faster, his lips were parting, ready to get kissed by Eliott. Right now, right here in this exact moment it was all he wanted.

They startled to the loud noise of the doorbell. Eliott’s hads slipped down from Lucas’ cheeks to his neck, looking at the direction of the front door. He cursed under his breath which made the short boy smile. He was disappointed that they got disrupted, but seeing how much it annoyed Eliott too made his heart flutter. 

“I swear to god, this happens all the time.” Eliott mumbled, unconsciously rubbing Lucas’ skin with his thumb, still not wanting to leave him to open the door. The bell was ringing again, longer and louder. 

“You should really open it.” the boy said softly, grabbing the hands on his neck and pushing them away gently. “Eliott, go.” he said seeing that the boy was still not wanting to move. He looked at Lucas, with the face of little kid who had been separated from his favorite plushie. 

He then took a deep breath, stroking Lucas hands before walking to the door. The small boy had time to breathe out, collecting his thoughts. Eliott definitely wanted to kiss him, god, they almost did. Deep in his thoughts he was really disappointed that they didn’t. He finished one of the sandwiches while he waited for Eliott to come back, and he did, with two other person.

He recognized one of them, tall, even taller than Eliott, dark skin, big smile. It was Idriss, the older brother of Imane. The other guy he didn’t know, but he was really gorgeous, dark, curly hair, handsome face and the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. They were wearing casual clothes, jeans and hoodies, holding some books and notes in their arms. Eliott seemed to be a bit annoyed that they were there, but he still had a smile on his face. 

“Hey, We didn’t know you had a visitor.” Idriss said and his eyes widened as he recognized Lucas. “Look at here! Little Lucas!” he yelled and walked to the boy, giving him a fist bump. “Haven’t see you in ages.” 

“Yeah, we mostly study with Imane at the common room, so…” he smiled and shrugged a little, looking at the other boy who walked to them.

“You know Imane?” he asked, voice soft as the warm wind on a summer afternoon. 

“Yeah, she’s my friend.” Lucas said, reaching his hand out, the boy grabbed it, shaking it softly. “I’m Lucas.”

“Sofiane.” he said smiling.  ** _Wow, such a beautiful name to a beautiful face._**

“Great, now that you guys introduced yourselves, can you go the fuck out of the kitchen?” Eliott said now frustrated. 

Sofiane and Idriss smirked at each other and walked to the living room after high fiving Lucas. They were awesome guys and seemed to be really kind. It was unbelieveable how they were friends with such and egoistic and rude person as Eliott. But Lucas had to admit, this guy had his good sides too. 

“Sorry about that, I totally forgot they wanted to study here during the weekend.” he said, scratching the back of his head. 

“It’s okay, I should go home anyways.” he said, standing up from his chair. He wanted to leave the kitchen, but Eliott blocked his way, looking at him seriously.

“You still owe me, you know.” he whispered, leaning down until their foreheads touched, keep looking into Lucas’ eyes.

“I know.” the short boy mumbled, his legs were weak, his heart was beating fast. He could smell Eliott’s cologne and even some smoke too. It was making his head feel dizzy.

“I wish I could walk you home…” 

“It’s okay, I’m a big boy.” he smiled softly and Eliott shook his head.

“You don’t get it, don’t you?” he asked and just smirked at Lucas’ confused expression. “Doesn’t matter. Text me when you get home, okay?”

Lucas nodded, feeling like he’s going to pass out, but luckily the tall boy pulled back, walking to the door with him. He put on his jacket and walked out, saying goodbye to Eliott before leaving. As he stepped out of the building, cold air touched his face, making his dizziness to fly away. He gasped, glancing back for a short time. A wide smile appeared on his face as he walked to the bus stop. He looked down at his phone while waiting and he got a new message from Eliott. 

**srodulv**  
Take care, and don’t forget to message me when you get home

Lucas chuckled, this guy was so extra. He just left his place a few minutes ago and he already had to text him to make sure Lucas is okay. He shook his head, typing him an answer. 

**lucallemant**  
You should be studying now, Mr. Demaury

**srodulv**  
I can’t stop thinking about you 

Lucas’ heart skipped a beat and he barely could step up on the bus as it arrived. His legs felt like they were made out of jelly, he felt butterflies in his stomach. This was the first time that someone made him feel things like this. He did have a crush on Yann like a year ago, but that was nothing compared to what Eliott made him feel with just a text message. He waited with the answer until he got home, cuddling pillows on his couch. 

**lucallemant**  
I’m home now, study with your friends  
We’ll talk tomorrow

**srodulv**  
Sleep well, Lucas

**lucallemant**  
Good luck with studying, Eliott

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now all the written chapters are up here, I'll try to work as fast as I can, but be patient, because I want the next chapter to be epic, so I have to make it perfect! If you have ideas, anything you wanna share, feel free to leave a comment, I appreciate each one of them.


	4. I don't think I deserve this

##  **I don’t think I deserve this**

 

Saturday morning was cloudy and cold, but Lucas couldn’t be happier. He started the day by doing his chores that was listed on their chalkboard Mika hanged in the living room. They kept switching the tasks, so no one gets bored of it. Later the day he joined Lisa on the couch, she was watching some weird documentary, but Lucas couldn’t care less, he was on his phone basically all afternoon, chatting with Eliott. Thankfully Mika was working, so he wasn’t asking questions about his happy behavior. 

 **srodulv**  
Idriss and Sofiane keep trying to peek over when I’m texting you  
They are being annoying

 **lucallemant**  
I kinda get them, you should be focused on studying, not texting me  
Not like I want you to leave

 **srodulv**  
You would be missing me, and I can’t stand a sad hedgehog

 **lucallemant**  
Too much confidence you got there, Demaury

 **srodulv**  
I think I have good reasons to be sure about some things ;) 

 **lucallemant**  
How do you know the boys, btw?   
Idriss is older than us for sure

 **srodulv**  
I am older than you too  
I had to repeat first year of high school

 **lucallemant**  
What? I had no idea

 **srodulv**  
Things happened in my life, so...  
It’s not important, but I was going to their school in first year  
But we are friends since middle school

 **lucallemant**  
Well, at least now we’re in the same year

 **srodulv**  
Haha That’s true  
Okay, I gotta go now, these two are driving me crazy

 **lucallemant**  
You can do it! Saturday is almost over 

 **srodulv**  
And I’m missing you so damn much

 **lucallemant**  
Stop being so cheesy  
We spent hours together yesterday

 **srodulv**  
It’s never enough time with you

 **lucallemant**  
G O   T O   S T U D Y   E L I O T T 

 **srodulv**  
Yes, ma’am

Lucas smirked at his phone for a few more minutes and put it in his pocket after Eliott didn’t say anything else. He loved to talk to him all day long, but he was with friends and he had to study too, so he couldn’t be selfish, asking him to keep texting. He might not be the smartest kid in school, but he knew that Eliott didn't do much studying all day, since he kept replying to him within seconds. 

 

Monday came way too slow, Lucas spent his sunday with studying and doing homework. He wasn’t on his phone much, but Eliott was also busy, so it wasn’t a big deal. In the morning he packed up his bag and left for school with Manon. They were planning to meet up in the common room before classes, just to chill and eat breakfast. The girl spent almost an hour in the kitchen this morning to make sandwiches for them, she was carrying it in a basket, while Lucas had two bottles of soda in his hands. 

“Seriously, Manon, It’s just monday, why are we having an indoor picnic?” He asked, his hands were numb from holding the bottles.

“We are halfway done with the common room, this is a little celebration.” she said excitedly and walked into the room, holding the door open for the boy.

They joined the others at the table, it seemed like they had some serious topic to talk about. Lucas put down the bottles and went to the shelves to get plastic cups for everyone. Meanwhile Manon put down paper plates and the basket full of sandwiches. The girls seemed to be really happy and continued their talk while eating. Lucas sat down next to Manon, chewing on a sandwich. Since friday he could only think about Eliott. He kept seeing him when he closed his eyes, he could clearly remember his smell and the feeling of his fingers on his skin. 

When his phone started buzzing, he felt his heart beating faster. Eliott haven’t texted him since sunday and he missed him so much. He was right back then, Lucas was one really sad hedgehog without him. All those feelings he had for this boy were overwhelming. He unlocked his phone, checking the message he got, but it wasn’t from Eliott, it was his mother. 

 **From Mom**  
For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but sent them to hell, putting them in chains of darkness to be held for judgment; [2 Peter 2:4]

Lucas took a deep breath and inhaled slowly. The girls were too busy talking about some sports event that will be on this friday, so they didn’t notice his reaction. He haven’t recieved a bible verse from his mom since a while now, it usually meant that she is doing bad. He knew that the nurse his father was paying took good care of his mother, but it was still frustrating to think about her feeling bad. He also haven’t seen her since months.  ** _Son of the year, clearly._**

He excused himself and walked out of the common room. Students were already walking on the halls, so he decided to go to the bathroom and tried to call his mother. He spent there 10 minutes, but she wasn’t answering. Lucas got really worried now. He quickly looked for the number of his mom’s nurse and called her. He was walking around in the bathroom until she picked it up.

“Hello?” her voice was soft, calm. It didn’t seem like anything was wrong.

“Good morning! I am Lucas Lallemant, I wanted to ask about my mom.” he explained, talking a bit too fast, but hoped that the lady understood his words. 

“Oh, Lucas! I haven’t heard from you in a while.” she said softly, this was still not convincing the boy that things were okay. “Your mother is reading right now, we just had breakfast and she took her medications. But why is the sudden call?” 

“Nothing...” Lucas mumbled, feeling bad because panicing over such little stuff, but also because he haven’t met his mother in a while now. “Nothing, I just wanted to know if I can visit her after school.”

“That is a wonderful idea, I think she would like that. She’s feeling much better lately, we talk a lot and she told me a lot of stories about you.” she answered softly, which made Lucas’ heart feel warm. Knowing that his mother was able to talk and tell stories of his childhood meant that she was really doing better. 

“That’s great, I’ll go there around 17:00 after classes.”

“We will be waiting.”

“See you then.” he said and hung up, letting out a relieved sigh. 

He leant to the wall next to the bathroom stalls and looked out the window. Everyone was slowly coming inside from the yard as their classes were about to start. He was looking for one face, one messy hair in the crowd, but he couldn’t find him. Eliott might have already gone to his class. He closed his eyes, leaning his head back.  ** _Stop thinking of him, Lucas._**

He walked out of the restroom now, ready to start his day. On his way to the lockers, he met Imane, she seemed to be looking for someone. Lucas stepped to her, smiling softly. Imane was a great friend for him and they always studied together for biology. She was sassy and confident, almost the exact opposite of Lucas. 

“Hey! Are you looking for someone?” he asked softly. The girl looked at him, a small smile playing on her face.  ** _Okay, this seems suspicious._**

“Yeah, I was looking for you actually.” she said and handed him a carefully folded paper. “My brother gave this to me. Eliott asked him to get this to you.” she explained with now a wide smirk. Lucas felt his face burning, stomach turning. He couldn’t find the right words to say both because he didn’t wanted Imane to suspect anything and because he was deeply worried why was Eliott sending him a letter, not a message. 

“It’s not what...”

“Don’t bother.” she said raising her hands. “It’s not my business, I just didn’t know that you are friends with Eliott now.” she said crossing her arms, looking curious. “I mean you were talking shit about him like a month ago.” 

“We were just assigned for a school project.” he mumbled, lies coming out of his mouth without thinking about it. It was so natural for him to cover things in his life to make situations easier. “It’s probably just a note I left at his place.” he shrugged, trying to play cool. 

“Okay then, I was just asking.” she said.

“Why didn’t you gave it to me earlier?” Lucas asked now curiously. They were all in the common room, she could have handed it to him there so she wouldn’t need to look for him.

“I figured it’s something that the girls shouldn’t know.” she said seriously. “I mean... Daphné is still a bit gone for that guy, they wouldn’t let you breathe if they would know that you are close with Eliott.” she said.

“And you also don’t wanna let them know that your brother and him are friends, right?” the boy asked now with a half smirk, while Imane rolled her eyes. “I totally understand. Say thank you to Idriss for me.” he said and walked to his locker now. 

He slowly unfolded the paper, it was a drawing and a note under it, well actually two drawings. One of them was a sad hedgehog, looking at his black phone screen, the other one was a sad raccoon with a suitcase in his hand, waiting at the train station. Lucas felt his stomach turning, looking at the letters under the drawings, slowly reading the sentences.

_“Dear Lucas  
_

_I am so sorry I haven’t texted you for a whole day, but something happened with my family and I had to leave Paris. Hopefully I won’t be away for long, but I am not gonna be able to use my phone. I’ll let you know when I get back. Damn, I wish I could have say goodbye to you in person, but I really had to leave quickly, I barely had time to make this letter, but I feel like this is what you deserve.  
Don’t worry too much, okay? I can’t stand a sad hedgehog, you know that. And maybe you can surprise me with something when I come back. I am going to miss you... I am already missing you_

_Sincerely  
A very sad raccoon”_

His handwriting was beutiful, that is the first thing that got to Lucas’ mind, then he kept re-reading the sentences, trying to take in all that information. So Eliott had to leave urgently, that’s fine. He had no time to contact Lucas, which is also fine. Then he fucking decided to draw and write a letter to him. This guy was far too much into romantic stuff and Lucas was there for it. He put the paper in a safe place inside his bag, making sure he won’t lost it. He smiled as he walked to his first class.  ** _Eliott cares about me._**

 

After his last class, he was packing his stuff from his locker into his backpack. He wanted to reach the first bus to visit his mother. He was preparing himself for that all day. His mind was filled with imagined conversations, fearing that his mother will question him for not visiting her. He was really nervous, but also excited. He wasn’t in a good relationship with his father, but he always loved his mother even when she couldn’t be the mom Lucas wanted. 

As he stepped out of the building, he almost bumped into his friends. Arthur and Yann had to listen to some stupid story Basile was rambling about. He stopped speaking when they saw Lucas. The short boy smiled at them, being frustrated on the inside, because he knew he wont make it to the first bus now, not like he had to wait much for the next. He just really wanted to see his mother.

“Hey, Lulu! Haven’t seen you all day.” Yann said, pulling his friend into a quick hug. Lucas sighed, enjoying the moment of his best friends kindness. 

“Yeah, I was pretty busy with classes and helping the girls in the common room.” he explained, hugging back his friend before he pulled away, Arthur gave him a fist bump.

“You were with the girls?” Basile asked with sudden enthusiasm. “Were Daphné talking about me?” his eyes were wide open, hoping for a positive answer. Lucas totally forgot that his idiot friend is now having a crush on his sweet Daphy. Of course he liked and supported Basile with all heart, but he also wanted the best for his blonde, overexcited friend, which wasn’t being Basile’s girlfriend. 

“About you? No, I don’t think so.” he said honestly.

“See, Daphné doesn’t give a fuck about you, dude.” Arthur said, he was always there to tell the truth to Basile. “You gotta find yourself a girl that can appreciate you.” he said, squeezing his friend’s shoulder. The short boy smiled fondly at them, it was nice to hang out with the boys like this. He haven’t had much time to do this before because he was too afraid they will notice he’s different. 

“We were actually planning to go to my place and order pizza.” Yann said now, looking at his best friend. “You should join us.”

“I would love to, but I am actually going to visit my mom.” he said softly. “I am already a bit late.”

“Oh, did something happen?” Yann asked with a worrying tone in his voice. He was always there when Lucas needed help because of his mother and the boy couldn’t be more grateful for that.

“Nothing in particular. I just haven’t seen her in a while.” he said honestly. “But you guys have fun.” He smiled and fistbumped with them, then walking to the bus stop.

 

The afternoon with his mom was really nice, she wasn’t lost in her thoughts like she used to. Lucas told her about school, how classes going. He was talking about the common room and how she made friends with the girl group. It was nice to tell all this to someone who had no idea about them, he noticed how much he adores the girls and their friendship. Of course his mom asked if she like liked any of the group, but he said no confidently.  _They are like my sisters_. And his mother seemed to be satisfied with that answer and didn’t ask more questions about her son’s love life. Lucas had no idea how much he needed this mother in his life. A caring, understanding and nice person who he can tell about his days, his friends, his classes. He wished he had the strength to tell her about his sexuality... or more likely his thing with Eliott. ** _Is there actually a thing between us, though?_**  

It was late, almost 20:30 when he left his mom’s house, getting on the bus. He read Eliott’s letter again, staring at the drawings for long minutes. This heavy feeling in his chest didn’t wanted to go away, he was really worried and missed this handsome guy, his stupid texts, his soft words. He remembered how they almost kissed twice. He got goosebumps just by thinking about it. 

 

Days went on so slow Lucas felt like he was suffocating. He spent most of his time with studying or helping out the girls, anything that could keep him occupied to not think of Eliott. But when the nights came, everything rushed him at once. It was killing him slowly. He felt like he’s never going to come back. 

Somewhere around wednesday the boys started to talk about a party, then the girls were talking about it too, because Emma was hosting it. Lucas felt like it will be a good way to drink and forget his emotions, so of course he agreed to go with them. Since he haven’t heard from Eliott since 4 days now, all he wanted is to get drunk and not feel anything. He hoped that Arthur brings weed to the party, he was his savior all the time, even if he didn’t know that. 

He tried to put on some nice clothes, dark blue jeans, grey t-shirt and a denim jacket. Usually he would just put on a hoodie or his favorite blue jacket, but he kinda wanted to look good today, no specific reason. He tried to get his hair in some sort of shape, with very less success, so he just dropped the case within ten minutes. When he was ready, he texted the boys and left the flat. Manon was already there, helping Emma all afternoon to set things up.

Lucas was on the bus, checking the group chat with the boys. They were going crazy, because Yann told them that the girl he likes accepted his invitation to the party and they probably gonna meet up tonight. The boy smiled at his phone, congratulating to his best friend. He looked out the window, he was almost at the stop that was the closes to Emma’s house, when he got a message, it wasn’t from the boys, it was an instagram DM. His heart skipped a beat, his lips were dry, his stomach turned in that few seconds when he opened the app to see the message.

 **srodulv**  
I got off the train, waiting for the bus. Do you wanna meet up?  
I need you

Lucas was struggling for only a few seconds. Eliott was so direct, no teasing, no playing around, he straight up said he needs Lucas. He got off the bus as soon as it stopped and thankfully could catch the ride to the other direction before it left the stop. He felt so many things at once, not knowing what to think. His hands were shaking, but he had to text back to Eliott, so he won’t be thinking that he left him on read.

 **lucallemant**  
On my way

He wanted to scream at the driver to go faster. He didn’t know what was going on, but Eliott wasn’t feeling good, he could tell even through text. When he got to the right place, he jumped off the bus, he didn’t see Eliott anywhere, so he checked the time. It usually takes 20-25 minutes with bus to get to the train station from this part of the city. Eliott only texted him 14 minutes ago. The waiting was pure agony, he walked in a few meter radius up and down. His hands were sweating and shaking. He jumped when his phone started buzzing, but it was only the group chat with the boys.

 **Arthur**  
Hey, Lucas, you should be here by now.   
Where are you, dude?

 **Yann**  
Is everything okay, bro? 

 **Basile**  
Don’t fuck this up, man! There are hot chicks!

 **Arthur**  
Lulu?

 **Yann**  
Can’t you just answer?   
I see that you read the messages

 **Arthur**  
What is wrong with you?

He sighed and closed the chat for now, he couldn’t deal with his friends, not now when he was about to see Eliott. His stomach felt so tiny, he barely could breathe, he kept licking his lips, because they were so dry. He should have sit down, but he couldn’t stop his legs, if he settles, all the emotions will rush at him at once and he either cries or throw up. Not a good way to welcome his handsome... what is Eliott to him exactly? He shook his head.

He was so deep in his thoughts that he only noticed the bus when it left. He stopped his moves and looked at the boy standing in front of him, just a few meters away. Eliott put down his suitcase, he seemed exhausted, so tiny. He was hunched, pale, even more than usual. His eyes were red and the circles around them looked much darker, like he haven’t slept for days. He was looking at Lucas, hands in his pockets, like a scared animal. He opened his mouth, trying to say something, but then closed it, looking down.

Lucas was feeling so many things at once. He felt joy, because he missed this boy so damn much and it was good to have him back. He was worried, since Eliott looked like he have been through hell. He also felt insecure, because he didn’t know what was going on his head. When the tall boy looked at the ground, Lucas made his decision. He looked around, making sure no one was on the streets. It was getting late, friday night and this was a really calm part of the city anyways. He then started walking, almost running, jumping on Eliott, wrapping his arms around the slim body. 

Eliott was shocked first, but then he pulled his hands out of his pockets, sliding them on the short boy’s back, burying his face into his neck. Lucas stroked him gently, enjoying the smell of Eliott he missed so much. They were standing like this for long minutes, then Eliott pulled back just a little, still keeping the small one in his arms. He touched his forehead to Lucas’, looking into those deep blue eyes. 

“I missed you so damn much.” he whispered, voice sounded harsh, like he haven’t drank anything for a long time. Lucas slowly put his hands on his face, caressing his cheeks with his thumbs.

“I’m here now. No more sad raccoon or sad hedgehog, okay?” he said softly. Deep inside he felt like Eliott needed soft, reassuring words right now. 

“Okay.”

“I’ll stay with you.” he whispered, stil stroking the other one’s face.

Eliott looked at him, deep into his eyes. He looked like he was crying not too long ago and that was breaking Lucas’ heart. He couldn’t bare seeing him like this. He looked so small and volunerable now, almost like a lost raccoon. He took a deep breath, slowly reducing the distance between their lips. Eliott noticed this and closed his eyes, holding the boy closer by his waist. 

Their kiss was slow at first, tasting each other, making sure it’s okay for the other to do a bit more. Then they got out of hands, tongues dancing between opened lips, hands going everywhere, not knowing where to grab. It was strong and passionate, full of deep feelings. This long time apart made them crave for the other, wanting more and more. For long minutes it was just them, no one else existed on this world. Everything around them ceased to exist, the buildings, the street, the bus stop, all of it. They were in their little bubble of happiness. Then suddenly rain started pouring, getting them wet. 

They both pulled back, just a little bit to look into each other’s eyes, laugh like kids. Eliott seemed to be better now, his eyes were glowing with excitement. He gave a soft kiss on Lucas’ wet lips. Their hair was dripping, their clothes started to get soaked as the rain was going on more wildly. The tall boy grabbed his suitcase with one hand and Lucas’ wrist with the other, starting to run towards his apartment building. The small boy laughed , trying to keep up with the speed of Eliott. 

The door slammed behind them loudly, Eliott let go of his suitcase, wrapping both of his arms around Lucas, kissing him wildly. The boy giggled into the other’s lips, sliding his fingers into his wet hair, pulling him even closer. Their clothes were sticking to their body, making them feel each other more. They started to slowly dance towards the bedroom, trying not to stumble while still kissing and holding onto each other. Their kisses were sloppy, full of giggles, teeth bumping into teeth. 

Somehow they managed to get into the room, falling on Eliott’s bed after taking off their wet clothes, only leaving on their underwear. Lucas was laying down, Eliott above him, kissing his neck now while his hands were stroking his sides. The boy shivered, letting out a little moan. He had never felt so good with anyone, not like he ever tried this with boys, but he knew that this was special, that Eliott was special. 

Hours passed, now they were just laying in bed, Eliott was resting his head on Lucas’ chest, tracing little circles on his skin with his fingers. They haven’t talked, though the short boy had a lot of questions, he knew that he can’t force him to talk. It was nice to just lay like this, quietly, peacefully. Forgetting about the stupid party, about his friends, focusing himself on this gorgeous man in his arms. He played with Eliott’s hair a little. It was still a bit wet. 

“I thought you are not gonna come.” Eliott mumbled into the silence after a while, Lucas opened his eyes, fingers still playing with the other’s wet hair. 

“I wasn’t thinking... I was worried, you were so serious in that text.” he said slowly, kissing the top of Eliott’s head softly. 

“I don’t think I deserve this...”

“What do you mean?” he asked now concerned. He didn’t like how the tall boy was talking about himself. Usually he was the most confident person Lucas has ever known. He can’t be saying things like this. 

“Laying here, in your arms.” he said, raising his head to look into the boys’ eyes. “I am not good enough for this.” 

Lucas sighed, he put his hand on Eliott’s face, stroking it gently, rubbing his red, puffy lips with his thumb. He had so much to say, but couldn’t really put it into words, so instead he just gave a slow, lustful kiss to him, making sure that he gets what he’s trying to say.  ** _You deserve this. We both deserve this. We need each other._**  

Eliott gave in after thirty seconds, leaning on Lucas like a hungry predator, grabbing his waist as he deepened the kiss with him. His tongue asked for permission and when he got that, he spent long minutes exploring the other one’s mouth, pressing their body together, skin touching skin. Their bodies fit so well like they were made for each other and in that moment Lucas felt like that was the truth.

They fell asleep like this, legs and arms entangled, Eliott resting on Lucas, wearing only boxers. Both of them were happy and they didn’t wake up until 11:00. Lucas slowly opened his eyes, not being sure first where he was, then he felt the heavy body on himself and started smiling. He buried his face into the messy locks, taking in the smell slowly. It was so unbelieveable that he was waking up in bed with Eliott Demaury. A few weeks ago he didn’t even wanted to hear his name and now he was holding him, smelling him. 

“You really like sniffing me, huh?” Eliott said suddenly, scaring the small boy a little. He looked up, smirking at him. “You are such a curious hedgehog.” 

“And you are one really annoying raccoon.” the boy said, making an angry face that got the other one to laugh.

“You are so adorable.” he said, kissing his lips softly. “I never wanna leave this bed. I wanna stay here with you forever.” he mumbled, caressing Lucas’ cheek gently.

“We can stay here... I don’t wanna leave either.” he said smiling, kissing Eliott’s palm. “I haven’t had such a good sleep in a really long time, actually.”

“Oh yeah?” the tall boy smirked, kissing his neck gently, biting it even. “So only the sleeping part was good?” he asked playfully. Lucas chuckled and run his fingers through Eliott’s hair. 

“You know that is not what I meant.” he said softly, kissing his forehead, then his nose. 

“What did you mean then?” 

“I feel good with you. I can’t really explain this... this week was absolute hell without you... I know that it’s stupid and I tried everything to get over my feelings, but...” 

“No, don’t say that.” Eliott said, suddenly leaning over the small boy, hands resting on the bed, looking at him with those stormy blue eyes. “I don’t want you to get over this. I wanna plunge into it... I don’t care if it’s a bad idea... I don’t care how, I just wanna be with you.” he said seriously, even shaking a little. Lucas wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him down for a lazy, gentle kiss.

“I want this too. I’m not sure if I am ready for it... especially not in public... but as long as you kiss me, touch me or look at me like this... I don’t want anything else in this world.” Lucas whispered into his lips, looking into his eyes. A bright smile appeared on Eliott’s face, making his dark circles disappear, he looked so young, carefree and happy. The small boy totally loved that smile, he would do anything just to see it again. He pulled him back for a soft kiss.  ** _I could get used to this._**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you for all the nice comments, I read them all and appreciate all of it. If you have any questions about the fanfic feel free to ask me on tumblr (@takaoparadise) the updates are a little faster there, depending on how much time I have when I upload. Love you guys!


	5. All I want is you

##  **All I want is you**

 

Lucas was sitting in the small kitchen, on the table, wearing only a black t-shirt that was too big for his body. He watched Eliott, this godly looking man making breakfast for them. He was wearing grey sweatpants and a blue shirt, he looked stunning. His hair almost looked blonde in the bright light that was coming through the kitchen window. Sometimes he glanced at Lucas, having a soft smile on his face, then he turned back to the pan, making sure that whatever he was making is not burning down. 

The small boy enjoyed this a lot, being in the kitchen, wearing Eliott’s clothes while he’s cooking for both of them. He could live like this forever, it was so wholesome and peaceful. They spent the whole saturday together, only getting out of bed to eat, drink or pee. It was nice, watching movies and talking about stuff, sometimes just kissing and cuddling. It was actually weird not being in the other’s arms, not feeling his skin on his own, but watching him was really satisfying. Eliott had a nice body, slim, his skin was really pale, his veins were popping through it, especially on his arms. He had small tattoos, on his ankle, his forearm, his knee, his chest. Lucas loved all of them, especially the one on the chest, he kissed that multiple times. 

When the food was ready, Eliott put it in one plate, which made the small boy giggle, he hopped off the table, sitting on one of the chairs, waiting patiently. Eliott put down the plate, holding a fork in his hand. His omlette seemed to be delicious, he even put some vegetables in it. He put some on his fork, navigating it towards Lucas’ lips. The boy opened his mouth, tasting the food slowly, smiling at Eliott. 

“Is there anything you aren’t good at?” he asked after a few minutes of eating, the tall boy laughed.

“I live alone, of course I know a lot of stuff.” he said softly, stroking the other’s face now. “It’s good to use my skills to impress you.” 

“Oh yeah?” Lucas mumbled, leaning his face into the soft touch, looking at the handsome boy with desire, begging for a kiss. 

“You’re driving me crazy, you know.” Eliott whispered, rubbing the boy’s lips with his thumb. “We gotta stay out of bed, go out a little.” 

“All I want is you.” he sighed, looking into the tall boy’s eyes. “Is that so bad?”

“It’s not bad.” he smiled, leaning forward, biting Lucas’ bottom lip, sucking on it before letting it go. “You know I feel the same… but we can’t stay indoors all weekend.” he said seriously, cupping the boy’s face now, giving him a gentle kiss.

“I like staying indoors… I don’t wanna go out…” the short boy was whining, looking at him with the biggest puppy eyes. Eliott sighed, touching their foreheads together. 

“I swear, you are killing me.” he whispered, Lucas started smiling now.

“My intentions are very different from that, Sir. I’d like to keep you alive for selfish reasons.” he said on a very seductive tone, slowly licking the other’s lips before kissing him passionately.

 

Late afternoon on sunday, Lucas had no choice but to go home. It was hard to leave Eliott, but he couldn’t go to school from his place, wearing his clothes. Thankfully his friday outfit was dry by now, so he put that on, already missing the comfort of the tall boy’s clothing. They were standing in the bus stop, a few steps away, being careful now. The small one didn’t wanted them to be affectionate in public and Eliott seemed to understand that. 

“I’m going to miss you.” Eliott said softly.

“It’s just a few hours, we will be seeing each other tomorrow.” the short boy smiled softly, but he felt the exact same thing. He so got used to laying in Eliott’s arms, kissing his neck, playing with his hair, sitting on his lap while they were eating or watching something. It was really hard to leave that behind. 

“Not like I can kiss you in school.” he said now, rolling his eyes, hands buried in the pockets of his jeans. Lucas could feel the tension and slight disappointment in his voice, it made him sad, but he really wasn’t ready to come out to the world, even if he had Eliott by his side.

“Okay, let’s have a deal.” Lucas said which seemed to catch the other one’s attention. “We can meet twice, in a safe place, where no one can see us. We can kiss there.” he offered with a playful smile on his face.

Eliott laughed, looking at his lovely hedgehog with so much fondness. He ran his fingers through his hair, probably to stop himself from touching Lucas. It wasn’t easy, but they can try, he can do that. It’s more than nothing and the younger boy wanted those kisses just as much as Eliott did. They were thirsting for each other. 

“Okay, little hedgehog. That’s a deal.” he said smiling which made Lucas’ face to light up. 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah, we will do that… but I will not take resposibility for my actions. I might be a bit too thirsty in those moments.” Eliott said smirking, his words made Lucas’ heart beat faster. 

“It’s okay, I think I can deal with that.” the boy said, but he wasn’t really sure about it. Being with this beautiful person just made him do crazy things, like kissing him in the middle of the street on a friday night or ditching his friends and a party just to meet him. 

“You’re cute when you’re lying.” Eliott chuckled, leaning to the billboard next to him. He looked so different from friday, no more red eyes, dark circles and he looked less pale this time. They still didn’t talk about what happened with his family, Lucas was really curious, but Eliott didn’t brought it up, so he wasn’t pushing it. 

Lucas was about to say something when his bus arrived, he saw the unhappy look on Eliott’s face and felt the same. He waved with a soft smile and then got up before the driver could decide to leave him there. He sat down in the back, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He was looking at the few pictures he took during the weekend, he so wanted to use one as his lockscreen, but the boys would notice it right away. He couldn’t let that happen and all of this with him and Eliott was too fresh. 

He sighed when he saw all the missed calls and unread messages, the group chat with the boys was blowing up, Manon called him 5 times and left several texts and voice messages. He got a notification that his dad _finally_  sent him the money for the rent, an e-mail from the nurse that was taking care of his mother, it was a weekly report, he used to read it right away, but he was just so done with social life. He wanted to turn back and stay with Eliott, lay in his arms, forgetting about school, his family stress, his problematic flatmates, his struggles with his sexuality. Everything. 

He startled to his phone buzzing in his hand, alarming him that he got another message. He let out a deep sigh, but couldn’t check it right away, cause he had to get off the bus. When he was on his way home, he looked at the screen, checking who was the sender and almost chocked on air. He quickly unlocked the phone, opening his instagram to see the message Eliott sent him. 

 **srodulv**  
My bed still has your smell  
I miss u

Lucas’ heart skipped a beat, he had to stop, leaning to a tree by the walkway, smiling like an idiot. Eliott was the most romantic asshole he knew and he loved that more than anything. These soft messages meant him a lot. By these he could tell how much the tall boy was affected by him and not just the other way around.

 **lucallemant**  
I have nothing that smells like you  
So I will miss you more

 **srodulv**  
I wanna go after you, but that would be a bad idea

 **lucallemant**  
It would be  
But it would fit your romantic style a lot

 **srodulv**  
Are you criticizing me, Mr. Lallemant? 

Lucas chuckled, this guy was so impossible, but that was part of his charm. 

 **lucallemant**  
Maybe :P

 **srodulv**  
Bold move  
Considering I can make you moan  
With just my fingers

Lucas now blushed deeply, burying his face into his palm, trying to breathe properly. How can he be affected by even text messages. He spent so much time with Eliott he knew very well how he says things, how he reacts, how he moves… His teasing was bringing up memories from saturday. Sweet, soft and even erotic memories. They didn’t go far, since this was Lucas’ first time to even kiss a guy, but some things happened. Both of them are young, horny teens, craving for each other, of course they wanna explore things with one another. 

 **lucallemant**  
Bite me, Demaury

 **srodulv**  
I did  
At least 15 times just this morning  
I wonder if you’ve seen your neck…

Lucas gasped, turning on the front camera of his phone, looking at himself. He wanted to slap Eliott so badly when he spotted a bitemark on the spot where his neck meets his shoulder. He can cover it with a shirt that has a tighter neck, but still… Then his slight anger just turned into fondness, because now he had proof that the weekend with Eliott was real and that the boy wanted him, so badly that he had to mark Lucas. He moved his shirt up a little to cover the mark with it and continued walking home, leaving his handsome date on read for now. He deserve that for leaving marks without asking permission 

When he entered the flat, he immediately had to face with a really upset Manon. She looked adorable wearing grey sweatpants and a lumberjack shirt, hair loosely tied up. She had a mug in her hand, probably her usual cup of tea before going to sleep. Lucas sighed, guilt growing in his chest now seeing his friend looking at him like that. He didn’t mean to worry anyone, he just went after his heart, turning his brain off for nearly 3 days. Manon was like his big sister, he cared about her a lot, so it was hard to lie to her.

“Hey, Manon.” that was all he could push out on his lying mouth. He had no idea what to say. He can’t tell her he was at Yann’s since she was there at the party with the boys, and his best friend is probably pissed at him. He has all the reasons.

“Explanation.” she said seriously, hand gripping tighter around the mug.

“I was with someone.” he mumbled, trying to find the right words. “It’s… Something was going on with this person, I had to go and meet… Then I stayed for the whole weekend.” he mumbled, trying not to use  _him_  or  _he_  in his sentences. He was kinda suspecting that Manon knew about his sexuality, but it wasn’t easy to talk about it, especially not when his  _someone_  was Eliott Demaury. 

“Everyone was worried about you! I was worried, Lucas!” she raised her voice just enough to make the boy understand that he made a mistake. “You have that goddamn phone, use it! I called you several times. I texted. I was about to call the police, but Yann said you’ll be fine.” 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry.” Lucas said seriously, he wasn’t thinking that Manon will freak out like that. He was so damn lost in Eliott that he had no rational thoughts all weekend, his mind was filled with one handsome boy. He shook his head, trying to close those thoughts out for now. “I really fucked up, big time.” he started, being totally honest, which actually felt good. “The truth is that I am really into this person… things were happening, one after another, then it was sunday. I wasn’t really thinking about anything.” he said and sighed. He really felt guilty, but seeing Manon’s look softening made him smile. She put the mug on the kitchen counter and pulled him in a tight hug. Lucas wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her neck. 

“Don’t ever do this again, okay?” she whispered, clearly trying to hold back tears, which kinda made Lucas to tear up too.  ** _Fucking emotions._**

“I promise.” 

“Okay then.” she said, pulling back now, wiping off some tears that stubbornly rolled down her cheeks with the sleeve of her shirt. “Let’s get you some food.”

“I had dinner actually, but it’s nice of you.” He said, feeling a bit awkward, especially as he remembers back that he ate his dinner as he was sitting on Eliott’s lap, facing him. He shivered. “I just gonna take a shower and sleep.” he said, and when Manon nodded, grabbig her mug to go into her room, Lucas let out a sigh.

He walked to his couch, turning it into a bed, trying not to think about how comfortable it was to sleep in a  **real**  bed, laying in Eliott’s arms. He missed it so much it basically hurt his body. He flopped down, searching for his phone. He had to answer the boys, but he wasn’t sure what to say. Telling the half-truth to Manon wasn’t hard, she knew when she had to stop asking questions, but with the gang… They would push him until he either tells the truth or snaps at them, none of that would be good. He needed the perfect excuse. 

He decided to roll through instagram first, collecting the bravery to go into the group chat. He saw that Eliott had an active instagram story, it kinda surprised him, though it wasn’t unsual, since Eliott basically lived half of his life on the app, even talking to Lucas through it. He tapped the little icon to see the story. It was a short video, zooming slowly on Eliott’s messy bed, while the song Shape of you from Ed Sheeran was playing. Lucas almost screamed, shoving his phone under the pillows, wheezing like he just ran a marathon.  ** _This guy is going to be the death of me, I swear._**

After long minutes of silent screams into his pillows, Lucas grabbed his phone, looking at instagram again. He closed the story for now, but he went to his DM’s, opening his conversation with Eliott. There was no new messages since the ones he left on read more than thirty minutes ago. He sighed, starting to type, needing serious self control to stay serious instead of being all lovey-dovey. 

 **lucallemant**  
You can’t be serious

 **srodulv**  
I am dead serious, can’t you see the marks on you? 

Lucas was confused for a half minute before he realized that they were talking about Eliott biting him before. He rolled his eyes, because he was sure that Eliott knew what he was talking about.

 **lucallemant**  
Ed Sheeran, really?  
You are such a cliché

 **srodulv**  
Oh that?   
Since I can’t post cute pictures of you  
I had to improvise

 **lucallemant**  
Why do you want to be so damn loud on social media

 **srodulv**  
Because I am fucking lucky  
You are hot, and mine   
I gotta share that with the world

 **lucallemant**  
You are the worst

 **srodulv**  
Oh, come on!  
I know you like it  
There’s probably two dozens of girls from our school being jealous of you  
And they don’t even know who you are  
Doesn’t that feel good? 

Lucas had to admit that it did feel good. He always felt like an outsider at school, he was sure that his sexuality would only make him even more of a stranger. Now that he had Eliott, this handsome, generous, awfully romantic guy, who wanted to post about them so bad on social media. Wanting to shout out to the world that he has Lucas by his side. They didn’t even talk about what is going on between them, but it was affecting the younger boy deeply. His feelings were real and so was Eliott. The thing between them wasn’t a mistake, at least he couldn’t think of it like that. 

 **lucallemant**  
It does, of course it does

 **srodulv**  
Now people know that I’m taken

 **lucallemant**  
Are you really?

 **srodulv**  
Are you serious right now? 

 **lucallemant**  
We didn’t talk about what is this between us…

 **srodulv**  
I don’t spend a whole weekend with a boy I don’t like  
Kissing him, touching him   
Making him breakfast, dinner

 **lucallemant**  
What do you call this then? 

 **srodulv**  
Well, since we can’t be official…   
Let’s settle with partners  
If that is okay to you

 **lucallemant**  
More than okay  
I like being your partner

He was smiling like an idiot at his phone screen, the effect of Eliott being soft and lovely with him. It was just impossible not to smile at these messages. All of it seemed to be too good to be true, yet there was the proof in front of his eyes, written by his  _partner_.  ** _Partner, wow._**

Since he got no response for now, he decided to take a shower. After that he put on underwear and a shirt, going to bed. He checked his phone again, but still no new messages, Eliott probably fell asleep. With a big smile on his face he closed his eyes, letting himself sink into the safety of his dreams. Seeing a handsome, tall boy in it.

 

School was noisy on this bright monday morning, everyone was glad that the weather got warmer. Lucas felt good too, for the longest time ever he finally felt happy that he could go to school. He stopped at his locker, sorting out the books he needs for his morning classes. Then out of the blue the boys appeared, Arthur slapping a hand on the locker doors, making Lucas startle to the sudden noise, almost dropping the books he was holding. The only thing that sucked with this warm weather was that he had to wear a shirt with tight neck,so people can’t see the bitemark on him. He looked at his friends with wide eyes, remembering just now that he forgot to text them last night.  ** _Shit, I’m in big trouble._**

“Morning.” Lucas mumbled, holding the books tight to his chest. 

“Spill the fucking tea, Lallemant. Right now.” Arthur said without mercy, looking at him like he’s ready for murder. 

“I swear… shit happened so fast.” he started, lies coming out without warning and he lets them take over. “My mom needed me, she sent a text when I was on the bus, so I had to go. I spent the weekend with her, trying to make sure she’s fine.” he was almost jabbering, but hoped that the boys can pick up what he is talking about. Yann seemed to understand pretty quickly, just like Arthur, but Basile was ready to start arguing. He just said one word before the blonde boy slapped him on the chest, not too hard, but enough to make him shut his mouth.

“Is your mom okay?” Yann asked softly, clearly worrying. Lucas felt the guilt burning his throat, screaming at him for using his mother as an excuse. 

“If we can help somehow just let us know, okay?” Arthur continued, breaking down the small boy even more. He wanted to cry, his friends were so fucking nice and he still couldn’t bring himself to tell them the truth.  ** _I am such a horrible person._**

“Okay.” he mumbled, trying to hold back tears, his voice was shaky. Basile didn’t say anything, understanding the seriousness of the situation, but he grabbed his friend’s shoulder, squeezing it a little. 

And this was the exact moment Eliott decided to walk into school with Alex by his side. They were talking about something, laughing together. Then his eyes connected with Lucas’, tension sparkling between them, but Eliott’s smile quickly turned into something else. He probably saw the tears in Lucas’ eyes, because he barely could walk by them, needing Alex to snap his fingers in front of him, making him focus on his friend. Lucas was glad the boys were too busy stading around him like bodyguards, making sure he’s okay, so they didn’t witness that catastrophy. 

As Eliott was out of his sight, he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket, not just once, alarming Lucas that he has an incoming call. When he looked at the screen, he felt like throwing up. Of course it was Eliott, who the fuck would call him at 8:30 in the morning. He excused himself from the boys, walking a few meters away, picking up the call now. 

“The fuck happened? Are you okay?” Eliott’s voice sounded really upset and it was echoing. He probably went to the bathroom just to call Lucas, which made the short boy’s heart melt. This guy was really too good to be true. 

“Calm down. I am okay.” he said softly, smiling even. “I just got a bit too emotional. I hate lying to the guys.” he explained. In that exact minute he could hear a relieved sigh coming from Eliott, feeling a bit guilty for making him worry that much over nothing. 

“Fuck, you scared me.” 

“And you respected my request by not coming to me right away. I swear, you are just amazing me each and every time.” he said, voice full of fondness. He could hear a soft giggle on the other side of the line. 

“It was fucking hard… you looked like a scared animal, begging me for help with those big blue eyes. I was ready to fight anyone that hurt you.” he said playfully, but still on a serious tone. Lucas wanted to melt into his strong arms now, kissing him with passion. 

“No one hurt me, Eliott… Where are you now?” he asked after looking at the clock on the wall. They still had at least 10 minutes before class starts.

“Bathroom at the end of the hall.” Eliott said with excitement.

“Don’t move.” Lucas’ voice was serious, he hung up immediately, grabbing his bag after shoving the books into it and almost running to the bathroom. 

As he opened the door, Eliott was standing there, leaning to the wall, hands in his pockets. His hair was messy, more than before, probably because he ran his fingers through it several times. Lucas knew he tends to do that when he’s frustrated or excited. They smiled at each other, softly and fondly. Eliott stepped away from the wall, slowly walking towards the small boy until just one step was between them. Lucas took a deep breath. 

“Hey.” he muttered, voice quiet, full of emotions. He haven’t been this close to Eliott since like 13 hours and it was just so intense. 

“Hey.” the tall boy let a soft smile spread on his face, placing his hand on Lucas’ cheek, caressing it with his thumb. “How can you be so damn beautiful this early?” he whispered, eyes filled with the passion the younger boy knew so well. He saw that so many times during the weekend, mostly before they started to wildly make out. He swallowed, grabbing Eliott’s shirt, pulling him closer. 

“Are you gonna kiss me or what?” he mumbled, licking his lips in anticipation. 

“Let me just take in everything.” he sighed, leaning his forehead on Lucas’. This started to become their thing, touching their foreheads, looking into each other’s eyes as they talked before kissing. “Were you serious last night?” he asked suddenly, Lucas blinked a few times, not believeing his ears. 

“You mean the partner thing?”

“Yeah.”

“I thought you were a smart kid, but turns out you are actually just as dumb as I am, huh?” he said smirking, touching his nose to Eliott’s, rubbing on it softly. “I wouldn’t say such thing If I didn’t mean it. You know how your presence affects me… Fuck, I had the best weekend because I was with you.” 

“If you wouldn’t come… I don’t even wanna imagine how it would’ve been. I was struggling… So many shit happened last week and you just came to me, like a fucking hero in a romantic movie.” Eliott whispered, his breath was tickling Lucas’ lips. It was hard to focus on his words like this, but he tried to, hoping that his partner will finally tell him something. “I think that was when I decided to jump into this.” he added with a soft smile, lips slowly brushing over Lucas’. 

Their kiss was slow, exploring first. Lucas was holding onto Eliott’s shirt, pulling him as close as possible, while the tall boy had his hands on the other’s face, cupping it gently as he kissed him with more passion. They didn’t needed a whole minute to lose it, Lucas suddenly found himself pinned to the wall, one of his legs lifted by Eliott who pressed his body on him completely. He wrapped his arms around his neck, enjoying the wild, needy kiss. It was like they were drowning, gasping for the last drops of oxygen in each other. 

Lucas grabbed Eliott’s hair, pulling it just a little as he leant back into the kiss, making sure it’s him who leads. The tall boy let him do what he wanted, still holding up his leg by the thigh, fingers gripping into his flesh. Long minutes passed when they broke the kiss, wheezing, cheeks red, lips swollen, eyes sparkling with happiness and lust. They laughed, freely, carelessly. Eliott started playing gentle kisses on the younger one’s neck. 

“I hate this shirt.” he mumbled, pulling away the material from Lucas’ neck. “You should be wearing one that is more loose… especially around the neck area. That’s my favorite.” he whispered into his skin, making the boy shiver. 

“It’s your fault that I’m wearing this one… you shouldn’t be leaving marks on such obvious places.” Lucas mumbled, trying to hold into the last sane part of his mind. Eliott giggled, licking the boy’s jawline before placing a soft kiss on the lips. 

“I guess you have no idea what you got yourself into when you agreed on being with me.” he said smirking, stroking the other’s face gently. 

“Probably not.” Lucas mumbled, hands running up and down on the tall boy’s back. His heart was racing, he wanted more, but their classes will start soon. 

“We have one more meeting today.” Eliott said with a playful smile on his face. “How about lunch time?”

“I can’t… I gotta spend time with the boys.” the short boy whispered, still holding into Eliott’s shirt, not wanting to let him go. It was so nice to be back in his arms, enjoying his kisses, his smell. 

“Text me when you wanna meet up then.” he said softly, placing a quick, but gentle kiss on the other’s lips. “I will be free whenever you want me to be.”

“Stop being so cheesy.” Lucas said, gently pushing Eliott’s chest. The tall boy laughed, grabbing his wrist and pulling it up to his lips, kissing his knuckles one by one. Lucas gasped, not expecting this at all. 

“See you later, little hedgehog.” he said, winking at the short boy before leaving the bathroom. Lucas felt like he’s drowning in emotions. Eliott was like a huge ocean wave to his poor heart, pouring feelings over him then backing out flawlessly. He slowly slid down on the wall, trying to get his shit together before his class starts. 

 

It was wednesday, Lucas was chilling in the common room with the girls, trying to study for english class. He was sitting on the couch, crossed legs, frowning at the pages of his textbook. The girls were talking about something, he wasn’t really listening, since he tried to focus on the letters in front of his eyes, but his head perked up when he heard Eliott’s name. 

“So this girl said that she spent the saturday at Eliott’s, can you believe?” Daphné said with that enthusiastic tone she always used when they were on a good gossip. 

“Come on, you can’t just believe some random chick, Daphné.” Alexia said, rolling her eyes. She looked cute today, hair braided into two locks. “Eliott weren’t even in school last week, he probably had his girlfriend at his place.” 

“He has a girlfriend?” Emma asked, now being interested in the topic.

Lucas swallowed, trying to act like he’s still reading, but he was actually listening carefully to what the girls say. He was glad that they had no idea that Eliott was actually interested in boys too, or that the person he spent the weekend with was right there with them in the common room. 

“Can we just talk about something else?” Imane said suddenly, looking up from her chemistry book. She seemed to be really annoyed by this topic.

Lucas was clearly amused, he wouldn’t mind to listen to this silly talk for longer, but sadly the girls switched back to talking about vacations. The small boy sighed, trying to focus on his english studies when his phone lit up on the table in front of him with a little buzz. He got excited, thinking it is a new message from Eliott, but he was surprised to see a notification.

 **sofalaoui**  started following you

He raised a brow, clicking on the profile, it was actually private, but he noticed the familiar face on the profile picture. He smiled softly, remembering that he allowed Eliott to talk to his friends about them. He felt like since they were in a different school and also promised not to tell it to Imane, it was safe. Plus his soft and handsome partner was really happy about it, Lucas knew he needed someone to talk about them. He startled a little when the phone buzzed in his hand, he opened the message he got.

 **sofalaoui**  
Hey, Lucas!  
It’s me, Sofiane  
I know this is really random, but you wanna come to the gym with me tomorrow?

 **lucallemant**  
To the gym? 

 **sofalaoui**  
It’s not an actual gym, more like a Youth Center, I work there

 **lucallemant**  
Why don’t you ask Idriss to go with you? 

 **sofalaoui**  
He has plans for tomorrow and I wanted to practice  
But I don’t like going alone

 **lucallemant**  
Practice?

 **sofalaoui**  
Yeah, I’m dancing, since 10 years now

 **lucallemant**  
That’s pretty impressive

 **sofalaoui**  
So you’re coming?   
I’ll send you the address

 **lucallemant**  
Yeah, sure  
I am free tomorrow afternoon, Eliott is busy with a project

 **sofalaoui**  
Great! See you tomorrow then

 **lucallemant**  
Yeah, see you

Lucas smiled, putting away his phone. It was weird, but also kinda flattering that Eliott’s friend wanted to spend time with him, like he was also part of their little group. He found it extra relaxing that Sofiane knew about him and Eliott, so he had a clue that Lucas is gay, and he still wanted to go to the gym with him. That was something the boy could never imagined happening. He was glad that Eliott had such accepting and kind friends. He wished he could be sure that the gang would be the same if they’d known. 

 

On Thursday Luas was both nervous and excited. He got a message from Sofiane, the address of the place where he was working. He got on the bus, holding onto the straps of his backpack the whole time. He packed shorts, a grey shirt and a pair of sport shoes. He wasn’t sure what they’re going to do, but he needed some exercise anyways. He only moved his body when he was in gym class and that wasn’t enough for such a young body. He was wondering if Eliott used to come here too. He didn’t really look like someone who’s been working out, he had a nice body, but not much muscles. Not like Lucas was so different, but he couldn’t picture his soft partner lifting weights or using a treadmill.

He got off the bus, walking to the address. The building looked nice, but it was really more of a Youth Center than an actual gym. Graffities on the walls, very artistic ones actually. He could imagine Eliott doing those with no doubt. Sofiane was waiting outside, being handsome and good looking as usual. He was wearing navy blue jeans and a grey hoodie. His face lit up as he noticed Lucas walking towards him, a beautiful smile spreading on it.  ** _He could kill people with that damn smile._**

“Hey!” he said excitedly and when the short boy got close enough he pulled him in a bone-crashing hug. Lucas gasped for air, patting the back of the other. 

“Hey! Wow, I wasn’t expecting this.” he mumbled honestly. Sofiane let him go and laughed.

“I’m sorry, the guys keep telling me to stop hugging people.” he said softly, smile brighter than the sun itself. Lucas was totally stunned by this guy, not just handsome, but also kind, gentle and the biggest dork he’s even seen. 

“It’s okay.” the small boy said, smile appearing on his face. It was hard not to smile when Sofiane was being so damn adorable. 

“Let’s go inside.” he said, walking towards the entrance. Lucas followed him without any questions. 

The building looked nice, lot’s of space, paintings and pictures on the walls. He could swear that one of the arts belonged to his lovely partner. Sofiane walked to a locker room with him, it was small with a bunch of lockers in it, one door leading to probably the showers. He put down his backpack on one of the benches next to the lockers. Lucas did the same, but he felt nervous now, since it seemed like he has to change clothes in front of this perfect looking guy. With Eliott he had no problem being just in underwear, but this case was a bit different. He took a deep breath which made Sofiane to look at him.

“Oh, damn. You want me to leave? I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or anything.” he said, basically reading the young boy’s mind. 

“That would be great.” he admitted with a shy smile.

“Okay, I’ll wait outside.” he smiled gently and walked out of the room, leaving there his backpack.

Lucas took a deep breath, taking out his “gym outfit” from his bag. He took off his clothes, changing into the more comfortable ones. He was already putting on his shoes when Sofiane knocked on the door, then peeking in a little, smiling still like the ball of sunshine he was. 

“Ready?”

“Yeah, you can come in.” Lucas said softly, being a little nervous in his stupid outfit, He wasn’t sure what he should be wearing, so he just ended up with the stuff he wore on gym class.

Sofiane walked inside and without any warning he started to take off his clothes, changing into more comfortable ones too. Lucas had to look away, it was really too much for him at once and he wasn’t sure that he can survive seeing this guy just in briefs. After a few minutes he turned back, seeing that now the boy was fully dressed, wearing grey sweatpants and a really tight blue tank top.

“We can go now.” he said smiling, leaning down to roll up his pant leg on the right side up to his knee. “Maybe start upstairs with a little exercise. Then I can show you some dance moves.” he said, Lucas choked on air.

“You want me to dance?” he asked, eyes widen in disbelief.

“Yeah, of course.” he said smirking, grabbing the boys wrist and pulling him upstairs where all the gym stuff was.

They spent an hour doing squats, jogging on the treadmill, lifting some weights and even doing pushups. Lucas was totally done by the end of the exercise, laying on the lifting bench under some lights weight Sofiane put on for him. His hair was wet, falling into his face, his body was shaking, but it kinda felt good. He haven’t thought that working out can be such an enjoyable thing, but it actually was, especially with such a sweet company as Sofiane. He was always there to help him, teasing him even. Lucas felt like they’ve been friends forever, it was so natural being around him, talking about school and stuff. 

“You okay?” Sofiane asked, leaning over him as he tried not to die on the spot. The boy still had that bright smile on his face, it looked like someone just glued it there.

“I’m gonna die.” Lucas mumbled, trying to control his heavy breathing. 

“Let’s take a short break then. You will need your energy for the dancing.” he said smirking, while Lucas let out a whimper. 

“I don’t wanna dance.” 

“It will be fine. I’m going to help you.” the older boy said softly, squeezing Lucas’ shoulder before he walked away, probably to get a drink. 

The short boy slowly sat up, taking a deep breath. He decided to go to the lockers, just to see if anyone called or texted him. They were so busy in this one hour that he totally forgot to bring his phone to the gym room with him. When he checked the screen he wanted to punch himself in the face. Three missed calls and five unread messages from Eliott. He totally forgot to tell him that he’s going to the Youth Center with Sofiane.

 **srodulv**  
This project is killing me, my head hurts  
You have time to talk?  
Are you mad at me?   
Why don’t you pick up your damn phone?   
Lucas? 

He swallowed, feeling extra guilty for making Eliott worry about him again. He thought that he won’t have much time to talk anyways because of the project. Well he was really wrong. He should have known that this romantic bastard can’t last for thirty minutes without talking to Lucas. Which was actually super sweet.

 **lucallemant**  
I’m so sorry. Don’t freak out  
I’m at the Youth Center with Sofiane  
And no, I am not mad, but I forgot my phone in the locker room 

 **srodulv**  
What are you doing with Sofiane?!

 **lucallemant**  
He texted me yesterday if I can come  
And I said yes

 **srodulv**  
I’m going there

 **lucallemant**  
What? No  
Why would you come here? 

 **srodulv**  
Is there anyone else in the building? 

 **lucallemant**  
No, it’s just me an Sofiane

 **srodulv**  
Then I’m coming

 **lucallemant**  
Eliott!!

Lucas walking up and down in the locker room waiting for a reply, but after five minutes he decided to look for Sofiane. He stepped out to the hall when he heard the music, bursting loud in the empty building. He followed the sound, finding himself at the doorstep of a dance room, one of the walls was covered in mirrors from the floor to the ceiling. Lucas recognized the song, it was Ghost Town by Adam Lambert. He wanted to roll his eyes, knowing that Eliott’s friends are just like him when it comes to cheesy music, but then he saw how Sofiane was dancing to the melody. 

His eyes widened seeing the flawless moves, not breaking the rythm for a second. Sofiane had full control over his body, knowing which part of it should he move in the following moments. He was totally impressed. When the boy said he’s dancing since 10 years he wasn’t expecting anything like this. When he thought about dancing it was either that silly jumping up and down he saw at parties or the slow dancing people did in balls and romantic movies. This was something different, modern and athletic. 

“Okay, that’s enough.” he suddenly heard a familiar voice and long fingers slid on his face, covering his eyes. A strong arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him to a warm chest he knew so well. He sighed, leaning his back to Eliott, smiling softly.

“Hey there.” he muttered with so much love in his voice it was basically disgusting. 

“I should be punishing you right now.” Eliott whispered into his ear, biting it softly, which made the boy let out a soft moan. The music was still going on the background, so Sofiane didn’t witness this.  ** _Good, because I would die of embarrassment._**

“But why?” he asked innocently, it was really flattering to know that Eliott was so jealous he came all the way here. 

“You know exactly why.” he kept whispering and even with the loud music playing, Lucas got goosebumps from it. “I don’t like that you are checking out another guy. You are mine.” he bit Lucas’ earlobe, sucking it a little before letting it go. He still had his left hand on the boy’s eyes, but Lucas had nothing to complain about, he loved to be pressed to Eliott, feeling his hands on him.

“I wasn’t checking him out, Eliott. He just have impressive skills.” he said, chuckling a little. This guy was so unbelieveable sometimes.

“Yeah, and also abs.” he could feel the bitterness in the tall boy’s voice which amused him even more. “Can you just not…” suddenly the music stopped and Lucas heard footsteps coming to their way. He slowly pulled Eliott’s hand away from his eyes which made the other boy letting out a grumpy sound. Sofiane was stading in front of them now, smiling brightly, like always.

“Eliott, I didn’t know you’re coming too.” he said excitedly. “I was about to find Lucas to teach him some dance moves.” he explained.

“Yeah, thanks, but I will take him home for now.” Eliott said, voice a bit sharp. Lucas squeezed his hand gently, intertwining their fingers.  ** _Calm down, I’m here with you.  
_**

“You always ruin the fun.” Sofiane pouted, looking at the short boy, hoping that he will say that he wants to stay.  ** _Great, how did I end up in a situation where I have to choose between two hot guys?_**

“I have no intentions to ruin anything… but Lucas is mine.” he said seriously, pulling the boy even closer to himself. Sofiane chuckled, rolling his eyes at his friend’s behavior. 

“You have nothing to be jealous about. You know that I like someone and that person is not your lovely boyfriend.” he said smiling, winking at Lucas.  ** _That is not helping, fuck._**

“I’m not jealous.” Eliott said, leaning his chin on Lucas’ shoulder, breathing slowly. “Fuck, I’m jealous.” 

Lucas and Sofiane chuckled. The short boy raised his hand that wasn’t holding Eliott’s and slid his fingers into the boy’s messy hair, playing with it. Sofiane watched them with happiness and amusement on his face. He seemed to be glad that his friend has someone that is being so caring and soft with him. Lucas couldn’t deny that with Eliott, he turned into a stupid, smiley idiot, heart fluttering in his chest. 

“Let’s go home then.” Lucas said softly, planting a gentle kiss on his big child of a partner. Eliott’s face was lighting up in seconds now, wide smirk spreading on it, catching the short boy’s lips for a longer, passionate kiss. 

“Okay, love birds, I’m going back to training. Just don’t have sex here, pretty please.” Sofiane said playfully, which made Eliott show him his middle finger while still kissing Lucas. 

Music started to play again and they finally break apart, smiling at each other fondly. Lucas put his hands on Eliott’s face, caressing it with his thumbs. He could never get enough of this guy, every kiss was like diving into the ocean of feelings then coming to the surface victoriously. Eliott leant down, biting on his bottom lip, pulling it a little, then letting go. He giggled, feeling his face heating up. This was so incredible, so special. 

“We should leave before I do something we both would regret.” Eliott mumbled in the short boy’s soft, swollen lips. Lucas looked into his eyes, only nodding, because he wasn’t able to form understandable words at the moment. 

 

Lucas managed to text Manon that he will be home late before he and Eliott got into the apartment, kissing wildly. They spent two hours on the couch, making out while listening to soft music in the background. Clothes were kept on just for safety. If any of them started to undress, they would’ve end up in bed, probably not leaving it until the morning and they had school tomorrow. 

It was hard to separate once again, but the thought of seeing each other the next day made things easier. Eliott only walked him out of the building, standing in the doorway with a soft smile. The short boy couldn’t resist, grabbing his shirt and pulling him into a gentle kiss before walking away, leaving Eliott behind with wet lips and a dazzled look on his face. He was smiling like an idiot on his way home. 

When he entered the flat, Lisa and Mika was sitting on the couch, watching some stupid tv show. Manon was probably sleeping in her room already. He tried really nicely ask his flatmates to go and fuck off of his couch. Since he couldn’t have his own room or bed, he had all the rights to take over  **his**  couch whenever he wanted. When Mika or Lisa tried to complain he kindly reminded them that they were the ones making him sleep here, so they can’t say shit. 

When he was finally alone in the living room, he switched channels to watch some criminal series. He kept his phone close to him and only left for a quick shower. He didn’t got any messages, but it was fine. Eliott was probably back to working on his project. All Lucas knew about it that he tried to get into cinematography, making movies in the future. He was amazed by the fact that he was dating such an ambitious and incredible human being. 

 

Friday went on really slow, Lucas got a message early in the morning from Eliott that he is not really feeling well. He got worried, asking if he should come over, but the boy said he’s going to be fine, just needs a little rest, that’s all. Of course that didn’t make the short one less worried. He had an english test just before lunch break and he barely could focus on the questions, his mind was going around Eliott all day. He really wanted to see how he was doing, making sure he’s eating and drinking enough. It was a terrible weather lately, so he probably catched some stupid sickness that is going around in the school. Lots of students disappeared this week, coughing, nose dripping, all of them got sick. It was just that time of the year that spared no one from this bullshit. 

After classes Daphné walked to him when he was packing out from his locker. She had her hair let down with a pink hairband in it, she was wearing her bordeaux coat, a light red scarf wrapped around her neck. She seemed to be really excited, kissing the boy on the cheeks as she greeted him. Lucas smiled at her softly. 

“What’s up, Daphy?” he asked.

“See, I was wondering… You remember that Eliott offered to repaint the mural, right?” she asked excitedly, which Lucas answered with a nod, not knowing where she is trying to go with this conversation. “So, I wanted to ask you to… maybe talk to him about it? You know that I get nervous around him and you are also a guy, so he won’t suspect anything…” she said, blushing a little. Lucas wanted to tell her the truth that Eliott is taken and that she should stop crushing on him, but he couldn’t destroy Daphy’s fantasies. 

“Listen, Daphy… You know I am not a fan of that guy. First of all you should stop crushing on him, you can find yourself a much better guy.” he said, softly squeezing the girl’s shoulders. “And second, I think he was just joking when he said that. The dude is not that generous to help us in the common room. He didn’t even come there since the very first meeting.” he continued, looking at her seriously. He tried to be convincing, though he had no idea if Eliott was lying or not about the mural. 

“Yeah… you must be right.” she sighed, trying to hide her disappointment. Lucas pulled her in a gentle hug, rubbing her back.

“Don’t be sad, Daphy. If you need help, I can gather up the boys and we can paint the damn mural, okay?” he offered softly which made the girl smile.

“Yeah, that sounds good. Thank you, Lucas.” she said, kissing him on the cheek again before walking away. 

 

He spent his friday afternoon and saturday morning worrying about Eliott. The boy didn’t reply to his messages, the last sign of him was an insta story, a screenshot of spotify. He was listening to Goner by Twenty One Pilots. He had no idea Eliott knew that band, he liked them a lot personally. But that was the only sign of him during the weekend. It was slowly killing him that he didn’t know what is going on with him. He wanted to make sure that Eliott eats, sleeps, drinks. He wanted to be next to him, cuddling as he falling asleep. 

It was getting late, almost 20:00 on saturday when Lucas just got sick of the radio silence. He told Manon that he goes on a walk, putting on his shoes and jacket, leaving the flat as quick as possible. He got on the bus, luckily catching one as he arrived to the stop. His legs were bouncing as he sat down, waiting to get to the right place. He needed to see Eliott, even if it’s just a glimpse. 

He walked towards the building with a weird pain in his chest, not knowing what to expect. Maybe Eliott will send him home, not wanting Lucas to catch whatever sickness he had, maybe he will let him in and they can spend the night together. He wasn’t sure. He was almost there, passing by a tree when he saw the door opening, for some reason he hid behind that tree, peeking out to see who is coming out. He gasped for air when he saw Eliott, wearing a black leather jacket over his hoodie, smiling. He was confused for a second but then another person followed him through the door. 

Lucas felt like he’s going to faint right then and there. It was a girl, around the same height as Eliott, wearing a long, grey coat over her short, black skirt and brown blouse. Her hair was short, barely touching her shoulders, with light curls in it. She barely wore any makeup, but she was stunningly beautiful. Eliott laughed when she said something and wrapped his hand around her shoulders, pulling her closer as they walked away to the opposite direction where Lucas was. 

He leant his back to the tree, looking away from them, trying to hold back his tears. He couldn’t believe Eliott lied to him. He lied so he could be with this girl… probably his actual  _partner_. His girlfriend. The world around him seemed to fall apart, his vision was fading, getting blurry from the tears. He was gasping for air as he slid down to the ground, grabbing his hair. Then as a lightning struck, his phone started to buzz in his pocket. He didn’t wanted to check, but hoped that it can distract him from what was happening in his head now. He got a message from an unknown number, it was no text, just a photo. A photo of him kissing Eliott.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you guys liked the fluff while it lasted, cause now we're entering the angst zone. Grab your seatbelts, take a deep breath, it's gonna be painful (not like I've already wrote it, but I won't spare you guys) *evil laugh*


	6. We have to talk

##  **We have to talk**

 

Lucas cried for hours on Saturday, laying on the couch, hiding under the blanket. He knew that the others can still hear him, Lisa is probably already annoyed, but none of them said a word. He cried until he fell asleep, then woke up from a nightmare just to burst out in tears again. All in all he barely slept three hours. He was now staring at the ceiling, sadness turning into a numb feeling in his body. Everything around him seemed so distant, fading into the darkness, while he floats away on the water, not even trying to fight back. His mind was filled with memories, Eliott crawled his way back up inside him, turning his sweet, beloved memories into bitter ones, making him question everything the boy said to him. 

Around 6 in the morning, Lucas got up from the couch, eyes red, lips chapped, hair flat and messy. He was walking like a zombie, wearing grey sweatpants and a loose navy blue shirt. He had a hoodie Eliott gave him, he wanted to set it on fire now, but he just shoved it under the couch. He made himself some strong coffee, then he walked back to the couch with mug in his hand, sitting down and just drinking silently. He turned off his phone right after he recieved that photo. He didn’t wanted to think about it, because he would be freaking out. He wanted to forget and just live in forever numbness. 

 

On Monday he left before Manon could even get ready, he needed to clear his head, took the long route to the school. He haven’t checked his phone even if it was turned back on. Everytime he closed his eyes, the picture of him and Eliott appeared, like it was printed on the inside of his eyelids. He wanted to scratch out his eyes, stop these crazy thoughts, forget Eliott and live his life like nothing happened. Maybe if he avoids the tall boy, he can get away. I mean it was probably a blackmail to leave Eliott alone. What else could be the point of making that photo? No one cared about Lucas in school. 

He reached the street of his school, suddenly feeling nervous when he saw a little group of students murmuring, peeking at him, then continue whispering. He took a deep breath, hoping it will calm down his nerves and tried to walk past them, ignoring the stares. He was almost at the gates, when someone pushed him from behind, very roughly. He lost his balance and his body crashed to the wall, a brick cutting his lips in the process. He gasped for air, suddenly feeling dizzy. He could only hear the world in the distance over the loud noise, but the laughs were pretty much audible for him. He tried to get back on his feet.

Lucas wiped off the blood from his lips now, walking through the school gates. He stopped when he saw all the students in the yard. He felt like he was exposed, standing in front of the world naked, weak, worthless. He swallowed and pulled up his hood, to feel a bit protected from all those eyes. No one was looking at him yet, but he still felt like all of them were watching, laughing. He saw pictures on the ground as he walked. 

He leant down, picking up one. It was just a quickly printed, not very good quality picture, but the two people on it was clearly visible. Lucas wanted to throw up, run home and never come back here again. It was the same picture he got on saturday night. But it wasn’t all, there was something written on it too: “All hail Lucas Lallemant, the school fag!” 

He closed his eyes, hands shaking of anger and pain. He couldn’t believe that this is happening with him. His facade got destroyed, now everyone knew. He couldn’t tell it to Yann or the boys himself. They all know. A single tear rolled down on his face as he opened his eyes. He noticed a familiar face in the crowd, staring at the wall that was filled with the photos. 

His blood was boiling, he was upset and had to hit something... or someone. His steps were fast, ignoring some slurs people yelled at him. He walked to Eliott, who noticed him right away, turning his whole body towards Lucas. This time he was glad that Eliott was like this, because it was easier to punch him in the face. He wasn’t thinking, just swinged his first, that landed on his left cheek, causing the taller boy to lose balance and had to put his hand on the wall to not fall. A few drops of blood left his nose, but he wiped it off. 

 “I hate you! You fucking asshole!” Lucas yelled, eyes filled with tears. He didn’t actually hate Eliott, he liked him, but his heart was broken, his life was falling apart and the only one he could blame was Eliott. If it wasn’t for him, Lucas would be still living his normal life, hiding behind the safety of his lies. 

 “Lucas, just let me...” 

“Shut up! You must be satisfied! Here I am outed to the whole school, everyone is laughing at me, thanks to you.” He yelled, tears rolling down his face, he didn’t even try to stop them. “I don’t wanna talk to you or see you ever again.” He added quietly and walked away without giving a chance for Eliott to speak. 

Flashes were haunting him from saturday, when he saw Eliott with that girl. He was laughing and wrapping his arm around her, they seemed to be close.  ** _I’m not feeling good, my ass._**  Lucas was mad, at himself, at Eliott, at that girl, at the person who spread the photos. It was more than enough to cope with his heartbreak, but now he had to deal with being outed to everyone at school. He had to stop at the backyard, away from he others, leaning to the wall. He barely could breathe, his chest was hurting, stomach turning, making him feel like he’s going to puke. 

His whole body was shaking, tears rolling down on his face uncontrollably, he wrapped his arms around himself, pulling up his legs so he could curl up a little as he was leaning to the wall. His lung didn’t wanted to take in oxygen, his sobs turned into wild gasps, his heart was beating crazy fast, cold sweat covering his body under his clothes. He wanted to scream, his chest was burning, so were his eyes. He was grabbing his own jacket so hard that his knuckles turned white. He wanted this to stop, he wanted nothing more and as the world around him started spinning, then fading, he heard someone yelling his name. Then cut.

 

He woke up, the smell of antiseptic crawled its way into his nose, burning it slowly. His whole body hurt like he got hit by a truck. Suddenly he felt something grumbling in his stomach, he groaned, trying to keep it down, but he suddenly sat up and just before he started to puke, a bowl landed in his lap. He grabbed it with both of his hands, shaking. He was coughing and gagging for minutes even, body shivering, covered in sweat. 

“Just breathe, you’ll be fine.” he heard a soft voice and then felt a hand on his back, rubbing it gently. He looked up, trying to focus his vision to the bright light, he still felt dizzy and some parts of the picture were blurry, but he recognized Manon standing next to him, looking relieved, still a bit worried.

“What...” he tried to form words, but his mouth was dried, his throat burning to even trying to say anything. 

Manon handed him a glass of water which he slowly drank, looking thankfully at her. She sat back on the chair that was placed next to the bed. Now he could realize that he was in the school nursery. In a few weeks for the second time, but without Eliott. Just the thought of the tall boy made him tear up again. He wanted to punch something, he felt like all this physical pain was nothing compared to what he felt inside. His heart shattered into small pieces, his happy memories turned into painful reminders of how he screwed up. He put down the glass and burried his face into the palm of his hands. 

“Are you okay?” Manon asked softly, only getting a short groan as an answer. “The boys are waiting outside... well so are the girls. I asked them to not come in, because you need air and this room is way too small.” she said softly, which now made Lucas raise his head, looking at her in disbelief.

“The guys?” he asked. “Aren’t they disgusted?” he mumbled, trying to swallow slowly, still having a soar throat. Manon raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms. 

“Why would they be disgusted?” she asked, keeping her eyes on Lucas, making sure he is not going to puke again. 

“The photos...” that was all he could say, looking down. He pushed the bowl of puke away, because it was smelling awful. His hands were shaking again, he tried to take control over it, but it was impossible.

“They are probably shocked.” she said honestly. “But they aren’t disgusted, Lucas. They are your friends. When Yann found you, he was totally paniced, so he called me. We brought you here and the doctor made sure you are okay. She gave you some fuilds through a needle. I don’t know exactly, but she said you have to drink a lot of water when you wake up.” her voice was calming, it felt good to listen to it. Lucas sighed, finally looking at her again, seeing the soft smile on her face made him feel a bit relaxed. 

“Can you tell Yann to come in?” he asked, voice still hoarse, but not as much as before. 

“Only Yann?” she asked and got up after Lucas answered with a short nod. 

She walked to the door and opened it, Lucas could see his friends outside talking loud and bombing Manon with questions immediately. They even wanted to come in, but she closed the door behind herself, probably explaining them that the short boy only wants to see his best friend right now. At least Lucas hoped that they are still best friends. 

He startled when the door opened, Yann walking in, gently closing it behind himself, leaving his rambling friends outside. He looked at his friend, examining him as he reached the bed, sitting down on the chair where Manon was sitting just a minute ago. He took a deep breath before talking. 

“How are you feeling, bro?” Yann asked, hands placed on his lap, but his fingers were drumming on his thigh. Lucas smiled just a little, noticing the familiar moves. This was still Yann, his best friend, his brother. 

“Like I got hit by a truck.” he said honestly which made his friend smile. “Manon said you found me.” 

“Yeah, when I came to school everything was filled with those shitty pictures, then I heard that you punched Demaury. I started looking for you, then I saw you on the backyard, curled up. You fainted just when I arrived. I was so fucking worried, I called Manon and took you here.” he explained, rubbing his temple his two fingers. “I swear that I was frustrated all day because of you...”

“All day?” Lucas cut him off now. “What time is it?” he asked, realizing that he had been knocked out for much longer than he thought. 

“It’s 15:40, Lucas.” Yann said softly, Lucas gasped, massaging the bridge of his nose with two fingers now. “You were unconscious for almost 8 hours.”

“Fuck...” that is all the boy says and now lays back in bed. He is kinda cold considering that his clothes are soaked in sweat. He pulled the blanket over himself, his shaking was slowly stopping, his body stopped aching. The only thing that still hurt real bad was his heart. He couldn’t stop his mind wandering off, remembering Eliott’s face as he was yelling at him. He closed his eyes roughly, taking deep breaths before opening again. Yann was patiently waiting on his seat, fingers still drumming on his leg. 

“I wanna ask questions, but I’m not sure if you would answer.” his friend broke the silence after long, agonizing minutes. Lucas looked at him, reaching his arm out which Yann grabbed without hesitation, squeezing his hand gently. 

“We are not a thing.” he mumbled, looking at the ceiling, taking a deep breath before saying the damned name. “Eliott and I are not together... not anymore.” he finished slowly, fighting back the tears that stubbornly trying to come out. 

“Not anymore?” Yann asked, still holding his friend’s hand. “What happened?”

“Long story short, I saw him with a girl when he was supposed to be sick.” Lucas answered and closed his eyes, trying not to remember that saturday night. 

“Damn, dude. I’m sorry.” he said with pure honesty in his voice. Lucas couldn’t hold it back now, he started to cry, pulling his free arm over his face to cover it, but his loud sobs gave him away. Yann stroked his hand, not saying anything, just being there for him, because he knew that Lucas needs him. 

 

After he was done crying, he told Yann that he can let in the others if they wanna come, and they wanted. He was overwhelmed by all the kind things. Arthur hugged him, squeezing his weak body gently and whispering that he’s proud, Basile just cheered and rambled without a point. The girls on the other hand, Daphné, Alexia, Emma wanted to ask about Eliott until Imane cut them off. Lucas was grateful for it, because he was not ready to talk about that. He wasn’t sure he’s ever gonna be ready. 

After almost thirty minutes of suffering from his friends cooing around him, Lucas got out of bed. Arthur, this blonde angel got him a taxi, so he didn’t had to take the bus, plus he paid for it. Lucas could never dream of a better friend. He brings weed and pays your taxi. The short boy hugged his friends, even Basile before getting into the car. They looked genuinely concerned about him, but he was feeling better, for now at least. 

When he was finally home, curled up on his couch, wrapped in a blanket, he decided to check his phone. He had a lot of messages from his friends, positive stuff, supporting words and all. He also had some really rude and hurtful messages on facebook from people he never met before. Apparently the picture of him and Eliott went not just over the school, but over the internet. Lucas hated himself more than ever before. He got his shit together enough to ignore the hateful stuff and reply to his friends. He had a few missing calls from Eliott and even a text, asking him if they could meet. Lucas blocked the number in the blink of an eye. 

He scrolled through instagram now, blocking all the people that were DMing him just to call him fag or some other shit. Then he changed his settings, so only those can DM him that he follows. It was a bit of a relief, because he was sure non of the people he follows would say homophobic stuff to him. When he was almost done with deleting the shitty messages, he saw that Sofiane texted him too. He swallowed before opening the chat. 

 **sofalaoui**  
Imane texted me asking what’s up with you an Eliott  
I couldn’t lie to her... so I didn’t text back  
Call me if you have time 

Lucas sighed, he really liked Sofiane and didn’t wanted him to suffer because of all the shit that’s going on with him and Eliott. He drank some water, just to moisturize his soar throat, then he clicked on the number the dancer sent him and called it. There was only a few seconds of wait before they picked it up.

“Lucas?” Sofiane’s voice sounded worried, concerned, which warmed the boy’s heart a little. At least he had nice people around him in these horrible days. 

“Yeah, it’s me.” he answered, a little quiet, but hoped the other can still hear him.

“Damn, what happened with you guys?” he asked now curiously. “Eliott is not answering my messages and calls. Imane said you hit him in the face. Is that true?” 

“Yes, it is.” he answered shortly, not really wanting to go into details. It already too painful to even think about Eliott, but talking about him too? That was a bit too much to the little hedgehog. 

“Okay, can I get any explanation? Because like four days ago he almost swallowed me in whole just ‘cause I wanted to teach you dance moves.” he said, being really concerned now, Lucas could imagine his face right now, frowning at him. 

“He was lying to me.” he mumbled, leaning back on the couch, holding back the damned tears. “He lied and someone spread pictures of us in school... It’s his fault that everyone hates me, while he is out there still being the perfect student. Everything is because of him.” he said with each word getting closer to the edge and then without realizing it, he was crying. Sobbing into the phone like a stupid child. 

“Hold on, buddy.” Sofiane said, sounding even more worried than before, if that’s even possible. He slowly exhaled, trying to think about his words, at least Lucas felt like that. “Lied to you... what is that mean?” 

“Don’t act like a fool, I saw him with that girl on saturday.” He said with anger in his voice now, trying to fight back the sobs. “He told me he’s not feeling well, I waited for more than a day, but he didn’t even texted me. I was worried and went to visit him...” he mumbled, warm tears running on his face like damned rivers, betraying his brain that wants to just stop them. “I got there when he came out of the building... hugging a girl.” he finished, closing his eyes roughly, trying to get rid of that horrible memory.

“Lucas...” he started and then just stopped, letting out a frustrated sigh. “You gotta talk to him. Trust me, this is a huge misunderstanding.’ he said softly, trying to be convincing. 

“I don’t wanna see him...”

“You are hurting him and yourself too. This is not gonna lead to any good. Please.... he is my friend, but so are you. You two were so damn happy...” 

“Maybe tomorrow... I am not feeling like walking today.” Lucas mumbled, rubbing off the tears from his face. 

“Okay, I’m gonna try and reach out to this dumbass.” Sofiane said, sounding like he’s smiling. “Take care of yourself, Lucas.” 

“I will, thank you, Sofiane.” he muttered and hung up, putting down his phone.

He was thinking about all the stuff. Sofiane was a straight up, honest person, Lucas spent hours with him last week and that was enough to get to know him. He couldn’t lie, didn’t even wanted to, which made Lucas to respect him so much. He wanted to believe that all of that was just a misunderstanding, but it wouldn’t solve his problem at school. The pictures spread like wildfire, his sexuality was known by everyone. He himself wasn’t ready to accept it, he only had a crush on Yann a year ago, now he got Eliott, but other than that it was just weird thinking he could like any other guy. Especially now that his thoughts were going around that one damned person. 

He laid down on the couch, stretching out his legs when someone opened the front door. He cursed quietly when he recognized Mika’s voice. The older boy knew something was up with Lucas and he was holding his questions back on sunday, but he was more than sure he won’t be now. Especially if Manon told him about the fainting. He still haven eaten anything despite his promise to the school doctor. It was more than sure that whatever he would try to force down into his body would come back up within minutes. His stomach was like a heavy rock in his body, small, but solid. 

“Kitten, it that you on the couch?” Mika asked, putting some bags down in the kitchen.

“Yeah.” he groaned, pulling a blanket over himself, wishing to disappear.

It took only a few minutes for him flatmate to put away the groceries and come to him, kneeling down next to the couch, putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder. Lucas felt like crying again. He owed so much to Mika for finding him, bringing him here, offering a place to stay. He didn’t deserve all this kindness. He was a horrible person, lying to everyone and now crying over his broken lies. 

“Kitten, you wanna talk?” he asked softly. He hasn’t been this kind to Lucas since a long while now, not since Manon was back. It felt like a father choosing one of his kid over the other. 

“I don’t know.” the boy mumbled and pulled down the blanket a little to look at Mika. His eyes hurt from all the crying and his vision was still kinda blurry. His flatmate sighed and stroked his hair away from his face. 

“What’s wrong, Lucas?” 

“Everyone knows.” he mumbled, closing his eyes, not ready to say the words to the coming question, but Mika surprised him.

“I suppose that it wasn’t you who told them.” Mika said softly, rubbing the boy’s shoulder. “Tell me everything.” 

So Lucas started the story. Sometimes his voice cracked, Mika fetched him a glass of water, so he could drink when his throat gets exhausted from speaking. He told him how this thing with Eliott started, with the piano, then the texts, their almost kiss at Eliott’s place, then their actual kiss... and then the weekend together. He told him how they met in secret at school just to make out. How happy it made him when Eliott texted, called or just looked at him. Mika was listening carefully, especially at the end, where he was fighting back tears, telling how he saw Eliott with that girl, then got a message with a photo of the both of them, kissing. 

“When I got to school it was everywhere...” he sobbed, hugging a pillow to his chest hoping to push his pain out, into the soft material. “Someone pushed me to the wall, people laughed at me... but no one said a bad word to Eliott.” he continued, voice shaking, burying his face into the pillow. “I hit him in the face and yelled at him... then I walked away.” he finished with that, didn’t wanted to scare Mika with the fainting story. 

“Listen here, Kitten. Whoever did that, it’s a shitty person. But your friends are by your side, right?” he asked softly, holding Lucas’ hand now, squeezing it a little.

“They are... They support me...” he mumbled between ugly sobs, rubbing his running nose into the sleeve of his sweater. He knew he was being disgusting, but it was the last thing he could think of. “I don’t deserve them... I lied to them, I ditched them for a guy that doesn’t even care about me... that let me get hurt by the whole school.” 

“I don’t wanna sound annoying, but you should talk to that guy first.” Mika said softly. “I don’t think with all these things you guys did together it would be a lie.” he said honestly.

“Sofiane said that too.” he mumbled. “Eliott’s friend.” adding to it when he saw the confusion on Mika’s face. “He said we should be talking, because there is a misunderstanding... but I’m scared. I hit him in the face, Mika. I physically hurt him.” he sobbed now, realizing that he was actually afraid of Eliott’s reaction. What if he doesn’t wanna talk to Lucas? What if after that punch it was all over between them. If Eliott really liked him and that girl wasn’t his girlfriend, then it was him who ruined everything. 

Mika now leaned forward, pulling the crying boy into a loving, bone-crashing hug. He squeezed the little, powerless body, kissing Lucas’ hair and humming some stupid melody to calm him down. At some point the short boy’s breathig slowed down, his mind drifting away into the calmness of sleeping. He dreamed of Eliott, they were together in the apartment, back when everything was perfect. They lived in their own little happy bubble, being all affectionate and flirty. 

 

The air was cold, Lucas wanted to just sink into the ground or disappear, but here he was at Eliott’s apartment, staring at the door, not daring to ring the bell. He swallowed hard, fixing the big scarf around his neck that was covering half of his face. It was because of the weather, but also because he felt more safe like this, hiding behind some kind of clothing. Suddenly someone opened the front door of the building, Lucas stepped out of the way, but quickly sneaked inside before the door closed itself. Going up the stairs was an eternity, and he felt like his limbs were frozen when he saw the door of Eliott’s apartment. All of the memories came back, the way they basically fell inside, soaked because of the rain, but giggling like idiots. He missed those tender touches, Eliott’s kisses. Now all he had was the hoodie, and he wasn’t going to give it back. He needed to have something from Eliott if things go down the drain.

He took a deep breath, collecting his thoughts, trying to make sure he knows what he’s doing. Then he walked closer to the door, knocking a few times, then waiting anxiously. His stomach became even more small, just a little rock on the bottom of the ocean, but has the weight of an adult whale. His heart was thumping in his throat, eyes burning from the intense stare he was giving to the piece of wood that separated him from Eliott. Then he heard a few noises, the door slowly opened. A familiar, but also strange looking face peeked out. Lucas wanted to punch himself in the face when he saw the bright purple bruise under Eliott’s eye. He looked pale, exhausted, his expression were closer to confusion and quiestioning. 

“Lucas?” his voice was rough, like he haven’t spoken since a while, and he probably weren’t. The boy’s heart was beating faster, he opened his mouth, then he closed it, not knowing what to say. “Come in.” Eliott broke the silence, opening the door wide enough for Lucas to get inside. He was wearing black sweatpants and a really creasy black shirt. 

The boy walked in, trying to fight the flashbacks he got just as he looked at the couch. So many things they did in such little time. He looked around, taking the familiar smell in, knowing without looking where things were in the living room. He walked there, sitting in the armchair, looking at Eliott who followed him, hands buried into the pockets of his pants. He didn’t sit, just stood across Lucas, staring at the boy with his stormy eyes. It looked like his mind wasn’t completely here, like he was somewhere else in his head. 

“You want anything?” Eliott asked, jerking his head towards where the kitchen was and Lucas shook his head. 

“No, I’m just... We have to talk.” 

“Last time you punched me and told me you don’t wanna see me again.” Eliott said, bitterness in every word, like sharp needles pinching at Lucas’ heart. 

“I’m sorry... I lost my head, I shouldn’t have hit you...”  ** _I should have hurt myself, not you. You don’t deserve this._**  

“Okay, are we going to get to the point?” Eliott asked, he seemed to be frustrated, legs fidgeting as he stood there, not wearing socks like always. His naked toes curled up like he’s trying to grab the floor with them. 

“Yeah, of course.” Lucas mumbled, looking at his hands fidgeting on his lap. “I made a mistake...”

“That’s your speciality, I guess.” Eliott said unexpectedly, making the short boy gasp, swallowing back his tears. This wasn’t the Eliott he was together with, this one was full of bitter pain, anger and sadness. He looked so small, hunched, like he has some big weight on his shoulders. Lucas wished he could just erease the last few days, going back to the happy ones when they were cuddling on the couch, kissing each other and whispering soft things into the other’s lips.

“I know that I was overreacting.” he broke the agonizing silence now, trying to get his shit together. “I was so insecure about us... I wasn’t coming to your place because I was suspicious, I just missed you, worried. Then I saw you healthy and happy, hugging a girl, while you wasn’t even replying to my texts.” he said, feeling like one of the many rocks rolled off his chest. “I felt broken, betrayed... Then I got a message with the photo.” 

Eliott said nothing, hands still in his pockets, but he was now looking at the ceiling. Lucas could see a single tear running down his cheek and it broke his heart even more. The least thing he wanted was to make him cry. 

It took him long minutes to say anything, he moved his hand to his face, wiping off the tear a bit angrily. He looked at Lucas with steel blue eyes, full of determination and seriousness, which scared the younger one. He haven’t saw him look like this since a long while now. Last time it was almost half a year ago when they bumped into each other on the school hall when Eliott was in hurry. He looked at Lucas just like this before leaving him without a word.

“I need to tell you something, Lucas. This is really important, and after I said it, I want you to leave.” His voice was serious, just like his eyes. Lucas felt the cold sweat on his body, eyes burning to produce more tears, but he can’t cry. It would just make the older boy feel guilty.

“Alright.” he whispered as an answer and a sign for Eliott that he can tell what he wants.  ** _Don’t cry. Don’t cry._**

“The girl who was with me on saturday is Lucille.” he said, taking a deep breath, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “My sister. I wasn’t lying when I said I don’t feel good, Lucas. I wasn’t in a good place... I was drifting away and she came here to make sure I’ll be okay.” he said seriously, rolling his eyes now before looking at the boy again. “I should have known this wouldn’t work with us. You were hating me for so long... I thought it’s gonna be fine, when we were together I felt good. Better than ever. Then I saw how you looked at Sofiane...” he swallowed, running his fingers through his hair with frustration. “I know we came here and made out after that, but my mind couldn’t let it go, so I slipped into a bad phase.” he sighed, taking a little break, frowning his brows like he was thinking. Lucas felt like he can’t find the right words and deep inside he wished to never ever hear those, but that was impossible. 

“I am bipolar, Lucas.” he says it finally and looks like he can finally breathe again, his back straightens, like he weight was lifted from his shoulders. Now it’s all on Lucas’ chest, pounding him into the armchair, the world turns into distant noises once again. 

It’s not easy to digest all these things. He felt like a complete fool for thinking that Eliott has a girlfriend. He couldn’t look at his face, because that dark bruise was basically screaming at him that he’s the biggest idiot on this world. His chest hurts, like there’s a horse laying on it, trying to press out the last gasp of oxygen. His head feeling dizzy and before he could control it, tears running down his face. 

“I said what I had to.” Eliott’s voice deep, but has no emotions in it, almost like a robot speaking to the boy. “Now leave.” 

Lucas doesn’t remember how he got up from the armchair or walked out of the door. He can’t tell if they said goodbye to each other or not. To be honest, he hoped that they didn’t. His brain was still circling around the things Eliott said, that he was bipolar, that the girl with him was his sister. He felt the rock, that was supposed to be his stomach sink deeper into his body, pulling him down. He struggled with walking, his body not wanting to do the things, but his way home was smoother than he thought. 

He was standing now in the living room, no sign of the others, but he heard noises coming from Manon’s bedroom. She was probably watching something. He let himself go now, falling on his knees, burying his face into his palms, crying loudly and uncontrollably. He screwed up the best thing in his life, now he can’t do anything to get Eliott back. He made himself clear: He wants Lucas out of his apartment, out of his life. Shattered pieces were sinking down in his body, part of the thing that was his heart once. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry guys, this was a rough chapter, but they will be okay soon, I promise.


	7. This is the best for both of us

##  **This is the best for both of us**

 

His living room smelled like the backroom of a night club now. Air filled with smoke, making his eyes burn even more. His tears stopped somewhere around the second joint, leaving dried traces on his face as reminders. He let out a deep sigh with a load of smoke and put the cigarette into the ashtray. This was the last one, which meant that he had to smoke actual cigarettes. But where did he put those? He looked around in the living room, his head hanging upside down from the couch’s armrest. He could only hope that his sister didn’t find it and took it with herself. 

His limbs felt heavy, his head dizzy thanks to the weed, but all he felt deep inside was numbness, eating its way to his heart. He couldn’t forget Lucas’ face as he left his apartment. He was crying, but he moved like he wasn’t even here. Eliott knew that feeling too well, but he couldn’t let himself into this. He got hurt so many times and Lucas proved him that he can’t trust Eliott, can’t trust his feelings towards him. It was the most painful thing he had ever done in his life. Letting go the person he loved more than anything. He was watching Lucas from afar for so long, wishing to change the boy’s anger into friendship or even more than that. He couldn’t believe it when they kissed, it was the most beautiful thing he had ever experienced. 

He shook his head, closing his eyes angrily, trying to push back the memories deep into his mind. Even smoking didn’t help him forget all those things they had done together. He hated that. His whole apartment reminded himof Lucas. The kitchen, the bathroom, the living room... He couldn’t sleep in his own bed since days now, because his pillow still smelled like him. He could just wash the sheets and everything, but as much as he wanted to get rid of the memories, a little piece of him were holding onto Lucas so hard, he wasn’t able to do it. So he just avoided his bed and only went inside when he needed clothes. 

His phone was buzzing on the coffee table, but he didn’t wanted to see who is calling. It was either Sofiane or Lucille. He knew he wouldn’t be able to talk with them. Not without making them worried, which would mean they will be coming over. Eliott just wanted to be alone, drowning in sorrows. His mind was somewhere in a really dark place. 

When he got annoyed, feeling his blood boiling under his skin, he got up and grabbed the ashtray, throwing it across the room. Thankfully it was made of a hard material, only cracking a little when it met with the wall, ash and cigarette butts covering the floor around it. Eliott opened the window to let out all that smoke and get some fresh air without leaving the place. He was mad at himself. More than ever before. He wanted to give a chance to him and Lucas so badly, but he couldn’t. 

During the weekend with Lucas his deepest wish was to tell his secret, to let it out and make sure the boy knows what he has to deal with when things get serious. Now he was glad he didn’t tell him, it would wreck him completely to hear that Lucas doesn’t want him because of his illness. It’s better like this, letting him go, telling him about his bipolarity after they split up. He would be lying if he’d say it was easy. He was always scared when it came to that topic. He lost most of his friends, even his girlfriend after he got diagnosed. Only Sofiane and Idriss stayed with him. He couldn’t wish for better friends, honestly. They were supportive, ready to learn about his illness and help him through the dark phases. But sometimes they couldn’t help. Sometimes it just got so bad that no one could drag him out until it was over. 

He felt fresh tears streaming down on his cheeks, making him even more angry. It was always like this, during depressed times he got mad easily, saying things to his loved ones he would have never said. His mind were fucked, ignoring any kind of sense, just letting the anger drive it. He looked at his phone, it was buzzing again. Ignoring it would be better, but he saw Lucille’s name on it, so he dragged himself to the table and picked up the call.

“Eliott, thank god! Why aren’t you answering my messages? I was worried.” she said, sounding just like their mother. Eliott sighed, letting the cold breeze freshing his body.

“I don’t wanna talk right now.” he said quietly, voice completely hoarse thanks to the amount of weed he smoked and the crying.

“What is going on? You’re having an episode?” she asked now even more worried than before.

“Lucille, just leave me alone!” he said, raising his voice a little. He had no patience for this bullshit right now. Can’t he just lay down on the couch and wait for the end? He didn’t wanted this, he wanted Lucas, but it was impossible.

“Eliott, listen here, I am your sister and I’m just...” 

He had enough, hung up on his sister and threw the phone on the couch, kicking into the coffee table. He ignored the pain that spread in his feet. Even that was better than the aching in his chest. The voice in his head was screaming Lucas’ name over and over again. 

 

He didn’t remember when he fell asleep, but he woke up laying half on the couch, half on the floor. His back was hurting like a bitch, just like his neck. This wasn’t the ideal bed for such a tall person like him, but he couldn’t care less. Walking to the kitchen was fairly easy this time, the force that was pulling him down yesterday seemed to be almost gone. He made himself a strong coffee, then lit a cigarette. He wasn’t hungry at all, being sure that if he would force anything down, it wouldn’t stay long. 

After he had his little morning routine, he walked back to the living room, sitting on the couch. He had to get up for a second, since he felt something under his butt. It was his phone, still being where he threw it last night. He sighed, putting on the table, not even bothering to check his messages or missed calls. As he lit another cigarette, putting it between his lips, he grabbed a sketchbook and a pencil, starting to draw. It was his only way to let out his emotions without talking to anyone. Art was his way to speak into the world.

Hours passed, the living room floor was covered with crumpled papers. Eliott was crying again, throwing the sketchbook away and curling up on the couch. He couldn’t stop drawing that crying hedgehog, like his brain tried to make him feel guilty. It required a lot of self control to not pick up his phone and call Lucas immediately, begging him to come back. He was the only one that could ease this pain, but Eliott was sure that the boy could never handle his bipolarity. Especially not these days when he was mad, sad and just not himself. He can’t let Lucas suffer even more. It was already painful enough knowing that he got bullied in school because of him. 

He fell asleep on the couch yet again, but this time he had a dream. A dream that showed him moments from his past. It hurt him, but at least he could see Lucas again. That adorable face of his, with that sweet haircut.

_Eliott walked into school, he wasn’t really in the mood to talk to anyone, but he had to put on a fake smile. The worst side of being tall and handsome is that girls will always find the way to cross your path, even if you try to avoid them. And Eliott tried his very best for sure, but the girls in this school were like octopuses, sticking to him without letting him breathe._

_“Good morning, Eliott!” jumped in front of him a very, very blonde and smiley girl. He tried to remember her name, he really did, but at this state of mind, he couldn’t give any fucks._

_“Hey!” he said, trying not to sound as bored and frustrated as he actually felt._

_“I was wondering if you wanted to join us to the first common room meeting.” she said, handing him a little leaflet. It was really well made, pretty background, readable letters and just nicely put together. Eliott took it and stuffed in his pocket without reading it.  
_

_“I’ll see if I have time.” he mumbled and walked past the girl now.  
_

_As he stepped into the building, he saw **him** , that beautiful boy. He was packing his books into his locker, not realizing that Eliott watched him, so he used his chance to check him out. He was short, looking almost like a kid with that spikey haircut. He had a pretty face and Eliott couldn’t imagine how soft his skin could be. But the thing that catched his attention were those bright blue eyes. He felt like this boy wasn’t even real. How can one human being has such unnaturally bright blue eyes? Like the ocean. And Eliott was ready to jump into it and swim around. _

_He got stratled when someone smacked his back with a loud “Hey, dude”. He was ready to punch that person right in the face, but his eyes met with Alex, his school friend. This guy could be a bit annoying and sometimes as smart as the rock on the bottom of the ocean, but Eliott liked his company. They got closer after his best friend, Charles went off to London with his girlfriend._

_“Morning, dude.” Eliott replied with a small, but this time totally honest smile.  
_

_“Oh, hey, Lucas!” Alex yelled now and walking past Eliott went right to the short boy. He got really pissed now. He was aware of that they were friends, but it still made him mad that Alexandre could just walk up to Lucas, have a handshake and be all cool with it. And the way Lucas smiled at him was not helping him calm down. That sweet, toothy grin was something Eliott could kill people for.  
_

_“Alex! You’re gonna be late.” he yelled a bit too angrily, walking to his friend and grabbing his arm, avoiding to look at the short boy. He would get soften from those big blue eyes. It was best to avoid awkward situations like that.  
_

_“Damn, you are really grumpy today, huh?” Alex said, raising an eyebrow and still not moving from Lucas, who was holding a book to his chest.  
_

_“Just go, Alex. I don’t wanna see your asshole friend anyways.” Lucas said suddenly, his words spreading like venom in Eliott’s chest. Yeah, he kept forgetting that his crush hated his guts.  
_

_“Not like I wanna talk to someone who can barely peek through grass.” Eliott spit out suddenly, cursing inside his head for saying such things, but he couldn’t help it. “I’m shocked they let you in without supervision.”  
_

_“What did you just say?!” Lucas huffed, sounding really angry. Eliott looked at his face now, he was frowning, his hair reaching straight up to the ceiling. **He looks like a cute hedgehog.**  
_

_“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you have hearing problems.” he said now, playful grin appearing on his face. Maybe he can just tease him like this, having a little fun and still staying away.  
_

_“Okay, calm down, Lucas!” Alex said, stepping inbetween them. Eliott was a bit disappointed, he would love to see Lucas coming at him. Like a baby hedgehog.  
_

_“Yeah, I don’t want you to get hurt, little one.” Eliott said, fueling the anger in Lucas even more, but Alex turned around and grabbed his arm now.  
_

_“Come on, Eliott. We’re going.” he said now seriously and pulled him away, making sure that he stays between the boys as they leave.  
_

_Eliott looked behind him as he got farther from his sweet crush. Lucas smashed close his locker and leant to it, looking really upset still, and it really hurt the tall boy’s heart to see him like this. He wanted to run back and hold him in his arms until he smiles again, but it was impossible. Not just because the boy hated him, but because he can’t let himself fall in love again. His heart broke once, it can’t happen again. No one can love him. He was crazy, not able to make someone happy._

Eliott’s eyes opened so quickly, he started to feel dizzy and almost fell off the couch. His head hurt, so did his chest still. He felt a tiny bit hungry, so he walked to the kitchen, making some toast. It was just so exhausting to grab two slices of bread and put them in the toaster, waiting for it to be ready. Minutes went like slow hours. His brain was spinning around, keep showing him Lucas’ face. His soft smile, his messy hair in the morning, his ocean eyes. He could remember his smell like he was standing right there in front of him. 

He noticed that the toaster made a little noise, shooting out the roasted bread slices. He grabbed one and started to slowly much on it. It had no taste, like he was eating ash, but his body needed some food, so he ate both slices. He could feel sweat covering him, his face felt weird from all the dried tears, so it was time to take a shower. 

Every step was an eternity, it took him long minutes to take off his clothes and stand into the shower. He turned on the water, letting the warm drops soaking his body. Everything felt so numb. He closed his eyes to protect him from the water, not moving to get the shower gel or anything. He eventually got out when he was feeling cold. Grabbing a towel and wrapping around himself. He looked in the mirror, not recognizing the face he saw there. Dark cirles around his eyes, the bruise on his left cheek seeming blue-greenish, skin pale and looking thin like paper, his hair more chaotic than ever, water dripping from it. 

He sighed, closing his eyes and falling to the bathroom floor. The pain in his bones resonated with the aching in his heart. He pulled up his knees, wrapping his arms around them, crying uncontrollably. His body was shaking from cold and the gapsing between ugly sobs. 

 

He was in his bed now, hearing noises from far away. He slowly opened his eyes, feeling like the sun is blinding him. He turned away from the window, looking at the door of his room. Lucille was stading there, arms crossed, eyebrows frowned. She looked both mad and worried, it was her speciality to show those emotions at once. Eliott groaned, knowing that he won’t have a free minute without her supervision.

“Don’t groan at me, Eliott Demaury!” she said, walking to the bed. “I’m here to help my stupid brother and that’s what I get?” 

“I didn’t ask for your help.” he mumbled, pulling the blanket over his head.

“Well, you have to deal with it, because I’m not going anywhere.” she said seriously. “Sofiane and Idriss are worried themselves sick. They called me five times today just to know if you’re okay.” she sighed, it was kinda reassuring that his friends still cared even if he was completely ignoring them. “Sofiane told me about the boy. What is his name? Isak?” 

“Lucas.” he mumbled from under the blanket. 

“Yeah, Lucas. He told me what he heard. I can’t believe you got yourself into this again.” 

“Can you shut the hell up?” He yelled now, pushing off the blanket, looking furiously at his sister. “I don’t need your lecture right now, Lucille!” 

“Oh really?” she raised her eyebrows. “Look where it got you. Being a mess yet again.” 

“I can’t fucking help it! I’m not controlling my damn heart, you know! I tried to stay away! I really tried, but I couldn’t. I screwed up.” he said, voice getting quieter with each word, eyes filling up with tears again.

“Oh, Eliott...” she sighed and walked to the bed, sitting next to her brother, pulling him into her arms. Eliott took a deep breath, burying his face into her neck, wrapping his arms around her waist. Her hands were slowly running up and down on his back, helping him to calm down a little. 

They stayed like this for long minutes before Eliott laid back on the bed. His sister tried to make him eat something, but he wasn’t hungry at all. His body was craving for sleep, but his mind just couldn’t stop. He was laying there, eyes half open, suffering from Lucas’ smell that was sticking to his pillow like a stubborn stain. 

 

It was friday morning, he forced himself to go to school, since he was feeling fairly okay yesterday. He hoped that none of the girls wants to talk to him this time. He was feeling like shit and not ready to even see a glimpse of Lucas. But he couldn’t miss too much days, or he would have to repeat the year. It was already hard for him to start over his first year at a brand new school, but since he basically had an episode in front of his class, he couldn’t stay there. People were laughing at him, making fun of his breakdown. If it weren’t for Sofiane and Idriss, he probably would have killed himself then and there. It was just too much.

He walked to the school yard, people were talking, laughing even, but he could hear some whispers and some students carefully glancing at him. He ignored them, trying to make it to his locker without freaking out.  ** _They are staring because of the incident with Lucas. They don’t know about your illness. They don’t know._**

He was standing at his locker, his body moving on its own, packing books in his bag and out of his bag automatically. He got scared when someone tapped his shoulder gently. He looked behind, eyes meeting the worried face of Alex. He studied Eliott’s face, spending long time to examine the bruise on his cheek, then he started talking. 

“Are you okay, dude?” he asked softly, putting a hand on Eliott’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, of course.” he said, voice sounding so robotic and fake, but that was all he could force out of himself. 

“Listen, if you need someone to talk to, I am here.” he said seriously, squeezing his shoulder a little and then letting go. “Breakups are tough shit, but you will manage it.” 

“Everyone knows about it, huh?” he asked, surprising Alex with the sudden bitterness. 

“Pretty much, yeah. Whoever took that picture made sure that everyone sees it.” he said honestly and got startled when Eliott slammed his fist into the lockers. “Bro, calm down...”

“What about Lucas?” he asked, hoping that Alex knows anything.

“He’s pretty fucked up, he doesn’t talk to anyone, not coming to eat at lunch break... But he had been to school everyday.” he said, shrugging a little. “People try to pick on him, but when they noticed that Lucas is not listening to them they stopped.” 

“Good. Good.” he mumbled to himself. 

“Listen, dude, I know Lucas can be too much. Hitting you was pretty shitty of him, since you had nothing to do with those damn pictures, but he cares about you a lot. I’ve never seen him being so down before...” 

“This is much more complicated than that, Alex.” he said seriously, looking into his friend’s eyes. “I’m doing this for the both of us.” 

And he had to believe that this is the best for him and Lucas. They could never be happy together. The boy couldn’t trust him even when he gave him his whole heart, and he couldn’t trust Lucas not to leave him after he sees him at his worst state. This was safe, less painful. Cutting things off before it gets too serious.  ** _This is the best for both of us._**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I hope you guys liked this short chapter from Eliott’s POV. I am sorry that it’s full of angst again, it will be better soon, but I felt like I had to write this to make it clear that not just Lucas, but Eliott is hurting too. His decision was the best for them, at least he thinks it was. Feel free to leave any comment about this, I always love to read your reactions to my new chapters.
> 
> Bisous


	8. I didn't mean to hurt him

##  **I didn’t mean to hurt him**

 

When Lucas heard that Eliott came to school, he felt like throwing up. It was Emma who told him, because she heard it from Alex. Lucas was hiding in the bathroom, trying to calm himself down. He so wasn’t ready for this. Since tuesday he barely could eat, his mind couldn’t focus on anything, because he kept thinking of Eliott. His chest was hurting more than ever and he couldn’t do anything to make the pain stop. His eyes filled with tears, body shaking uncontrollably. He got startled when his phone started ringing. He swiped the sweat off his palms and pulled his phone out of his pocket, answering the call without checking who it was.

“Hello?” his voice was a bit shaky, but he tried to sound as normal as possible.

“Bro, where are you? Class is starting soon.” Arthur said worried, reminding his friend of his upcoming biology class.

“I’m coming, I just had to come to the bathroom.” he explained, telling the half-truth. He haven’t talked to his friends much about Eliott, they just knew that he had something with him, but this was much more complicated.

“Okay, I’ll tell Imane to stop worrying then.” Arthur said now and hung up. 

Lucas was glad that he had friends like him, who could understand that pushing the boy to speak won’t help the situation. When he feels like he need to talk, then he will know where to find his friends. He thought about Yann, they talk on monday and he felt like he should at least tell him what happened between him and Eliott. He deserved to get some answers to all those questions he probably has, but never dared to ask. 

He flushed the toilet, making it look like he was doing something in there and walked out of the stall. He washed off the tears from his face, trying to breathe evenly. When he left the bathroom, he walked into someone and the sudden force pushed him back. He thought he’s going to fall to the floor when a strong arm grabbed his wrist, pulling him forward until he found himself pressed to a warm chest. This whole situation felt so familiar and his heart skipped a beat when he recognized the smell of the person. He looked up, meeting with stormy grey eyes, a handsome, but tired looking face and that beautiful, messy hair.

“Watch out next time, Lallemant.” Eliott said, voice bitter as he let the boy go and took a step back, avoiding eyecontact. The bruise on his cheek was slowly fading away, but it still made Lucas feel guilty about it. 

“I-I’m sorry...”

“Whatever.” Eliott said, shrugging off the boy and walking away like nothing happened. 

Lucas was watching him disappear in the crowd of students. His heart cracked yet once more. It was one thing to think that Eliott hates him, that he doesn’t care anymore, but seeing that dead look, hearing those bitter words were so much more painful. He clenched his fists and swallowed back his tears, walking to biology class. This can’t break him, not now. 

 

Lucas almost ran away to hide in the bathrom again when he realized that his next class just before lunch break is literature with Eliott. He haven’t had to worry meeting the boy so far, cause it seemed like he was avoiding Lucas, which was just as relieving as painful. He was standing a few steps from him classroom, trying not to freak out, control his breathing. He had no idea if Eliott was already inside or not, but he couldn’t just skip his class. 

He sighed and looked up from the floor when he saw that just across him was standing Eliott, staring at him with those piercing eyes. He was holding onto the strap of his backpack on his shoulder. He looked exhausted, eyes sitting in dark shadows, skin pale and his whole appearence screamed that he haven’t had a good sleep in a while. Lucas knew the feeling too well, he spent most of his nights watching stupid tv shows with really low volume on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. 

None of them moved to walk into the classroom. Eliott seemed like someone who saw a ghost, he closed his eyes for a few seconds, looking away from the short boy and then he walked in without saying anything. Lucas bit his bottom lip strong enough to make him feel the pain before walking after Eliott. He was sitting at their table, leaning over a book, probably the one they are gonna talk about in class. The short boy took the seat next to him, clearly feeling the awkward tension between them. Eliott had a pen in his right hand, slowly knocking on the table with it, like he tried to focus on that one sound. Lucas took a deep breath and put his own book on the table too, making sure he doesn’t make any more physical contact with his classmate.

When the class was over, Eliott basically jumped up from his seat and ran out of the room. Lucas felt like shit, not knowing what he could do to fix this. His feelings for this tall boy rooted so deep inside that he couldn’t just get rid of them. Not sure if he actually wanted that. This was something that never happened to him before, falling in love with someone. Before he tries to give up on it, he had to make sure that Eliott wants nothing from him.

 

* * *

 

_He spent the whole week looking up bipolarity online and in books. His brain felt like it’s going to blow up from all the informations. Knowing that Eliott had to live with something that makes his life ten times harder broke his heart. All the sources said different things about mania, depression, episodes, suicidal thoughts. He was scared, afraid of what Eliott would do to himself when he’s feeling so low, but he couldn’t just call him to make sure he’s okay._

_It was wednesday afternoon when he decided to call Sofiane. He could only hope that the boy has some information on how Eliott is doing. Although he was asked to leave the apartment on that damned tuesday, he couldn’t stop thinking of Eliott’s face when they talked. The single tear on his face, his robotic voice as he told Lucas to leave. All of it was haunting him day and night.  
_

_“Yes?” he got startled when a soft voice spoke from his phone. He totally forgot that he was calling someone. This often happened with him lately, forgetting about the outside world, diving into his thoughts.  
_

_“Sofiane, it’s me, Lucas.” he said, trying to normalize his heartbeat.  
_

_“Lucas, are you okay?” he asked, sounding genuinely worried which warmed the short boy’s heart. He couldn’t believe that after everything happened Eliott’s best friend was still worried about him.  
_

_“I am fine. I actually wanted to ask about Eliott.” he explained, fighting with the nervous feeling in his throat. He heard a soft sigh from the other side of the line, which made him even more nervous now. “What is it?” he asked, surprising himself with the demanding tone._

_“He is in a bad place right now, Lucas. I don’t know if you guys talked...”  
_

_“He told me about his illness.” the boy cut him off quickly, he had no time for pep talk, he wanted to know if Eliott was okay.  
_

_“Okay, I wasn’t expecting that.” Sofiane said surprised. “He usually doesn’t talk about it... I mean, he is pretty ashamed of it, although we keep telling him that he is just like any other teenager...” he explained and let out another sigh. “His life is not easy, Lucas, he had to go through a lot of shit in the last few years.”  
_

_“But is he okay?” he asked again, feeling his eyes filling up with tears.  
_

_“He will be. Lucille came back to Paris and she’s taking care of him now.” he explained. “She knows how to handle this.”  
_

_“But he didn’t... try to... you know...”  
_

_“Hurt himself?” the boy asked, sounding really serious all of the sudden. “Lucas, you probably read that on the internet a lot and it’s not impossible for him to feel such low, so deeply hurt that he would do a stupid thing like that, but... I trust him, you know. And we all making sure he can’t get so deep into this shit.” he said on a softer tone now. “Listen, I don’t know when he will go to school again. His episodes always different, some goes down in a few days, some takes a week, sometimes he needs much longer time, but I know for a fact that whatever he said to you, he still cares about you. I saw him after a breakup before, but he has never been like this. His feelings are serious.”  
_

_“So are mine.” Lucas said now, surprising himself with the confession, but he kept going. “I don’t care that he is mentally ill, Sofiane. I spent my afternoons looking up bipolarity instead of studying, I can’t have a decent sleep since I left his place and I certainly not gonna give up on what was between us, because it was_ **_real_ ** _to me. More real than my first year at school, pretending to be someone I wasn’t.” he said, pouring out his heart through the phone. The rocks were slowly rolling off his chest, making him feel like he can breathe again._

_“In that case, I am hoping you can reach out to him.” Sofiane said and he could imagine that bright smile on his face as he was talking.  
_

_“I will try my very best.” Lucas said and hung up. He went back to his search on bipolarity, visiting some phychological blogs and forums._

 

* * *

 

After school he decided to go to the common room, just hanging out there before going home. It was a bit more calming for him to sit on the armchair there, staring at the piano in front of the terrible mural. He remembered how he played the song on it, how Eliott clapped when he finished the piece. His face as he got closer and closer to Lucas until he could feel his breath. He was a bit mad at the girls that they interrupted them that day, but was a bit glad too. Their first kiss at the bus stop, in the pouring rain was something he could never forget. It was burnt into his brain, every single moment of it. 

“Don’t you think, Lucas?” a soft voice dragging him out of his dreamy thoughts. He’s shaking his head, looking at the girls. They were sitting on the couches facing each other and talking about something, but he couldn’t recall what was the topic.

“Sorry, I wasn’t listening.” he said honestly. He just noticed that he was holding his phone in his hands, like he was hoping to get a message from Eliott. 

“I said that the common room looks almost perfect, but we still have to get rid of the mural.” Daphné repeated her words with a bright smile on her face. “Wouldn’t you like to help us with it? You did a great job with the chairs.”

“Daphné, chairs and a whole wall is two different thing.” Imane said, looking up from her book. 

“Plus Lucas shouldn’t do such an exhausting task.” Manon added, looking worried at her flatmate, which made Lucas let out a frustrated sigh.

“I’m not a fragile doll, just because I’m sad.” he said seriously. “And I guess you don’t want me to start painting right now.”

“No, of course not.” Daphné said, being excited that the boy seemed like he’s willing to help them. “I thought about next friday, after school.” 

“Okay, I’ll gather the boys and we’ll do something with it.” Lucas nodded and laid his head back in the armchair, letting the girls continue talking without his presence. 

 

The weekend passed fairly quickly. Lucas spent his days doing homework with Manon, cleaning the flat and watching tv with Mika and Lisa. No one asked him about Eliott and that was okay. He needed time before he could tell them about his feelings for the boy. It was enough that they knew he was gay, it was a big relief to get rid of the fake Lucas, his lies and stupid excuses. He had the chance to be himself finally. 

On monday morning, he decided to start trying to reach out to Eliott, but he wasn’t sure how to do it. The boy would probably just ignore his messages, so that was a dead end. He thought for a second and remembered how much Eliott talked about Love, Simon when they were together. He looked for a picture of the Ferris wheel from the movie and added a quote to is as the caption:  _“Sometimes I think I’m destined to care so much about one person it nearly kills me.“_

He sighed after posting the picture. He knew Eliott wasn’t following him on insta, but he admitted that he was always stalking Lucas, checking his posts and stories, so he really hoped that this haven’t changed after their fight. 

He felt his phone endlessly buzzing in his pocket as he walked to school, probably his friends asking about the post, people liking and commenting on it. He was glad that most of the students calmed down, not bullying him, but those glancing eyes were still following him everywhere. Like they were waiting for Lucas to start making out with a random guy in the middle of school. He rolled his eyes, knowing the only person he wanted to do that with was actively avoiding him.

When he got to his locker, he took a deep breath. His mind was spinning around Eliott, trying to think of a good way to reach out to him. Lucas no.36 was probably already talking to him, Lucas no.53 was hiding in the bathroom, crying like a baby, while Lucas no.95 was making out on the hall with Eliott no.95. He wished he could be doing that too instead of feeling nervous all the time, not knowing how to fix the shit he created around themselves. He opened his locker, but something fell out of it. He thought it was probably just a note, since he had so much shit stuffed in that tiny space, sometimes papers and books just fell out. He leant down to pick it up, it was a piece of paper, carefully folded. He opened it to see what’s on it and his heart skipped a beat. 

It was a drawing of a raccoon sitting on a couch, drawing something, while there were a lots of crumbled papers around him and a dark cloud above his head. Lucas knew that this was from Eliott. His eyes filled with tears and pressed the paper to his chest, trying to lock it into his heart. Even if the drawing was sad, showing that Eliott wasn’t feeling good, he still tried to reach out, making sure Lucas knows that he still wants something. 

A single tear rolled down his face and he looked for his phone quickly. Lots of thoughts running through his mind at the same time, but he wanted to be just short and simple. He opened instagram and went to his DMs, looking for the chat with Eliott. It was so weird to see their soft and endearing texts there, so he tried to ignore those, starting to type.

 **lucallemant**  
Thank you for the drawing, If you wanna talk, I am always ready 

He gasped when the word “seen” appeared under his message, but he got no replies from Eliott. He put away his phone, ignoring the texts and notifications on the app. He made sure he has the right books and notes for the upcoming classes, having a stupid smile on his face. 

 

It was lunch time and Lucas was sitting with the boys, staring at his phone screen, not even touching his food. They were talking about Yann’s date with Chloé this weekend, but he wasn’t really paying attention. He was looking for Eliott in the crowd all day, checking his phone every 5 minutes if he got a message, but nothing. Since he got the drawing, Eliott showed no sign of being in school or wanting to talk to Lucas and it was slowly killing him. 

He grabbed his fork and poked a broccoli on his plate a couple times, still holding the phone in his other hand. It was agonizing to wait. He wanted to send millions of texts to Eliott, but he knew that wouldn’t make the other boy respond. He was desperate, sad and lonely without him. He barely noticed when his friends started talking to him. He shook his head when Yann threw a piece of corn at him. 

“What?” he asked, pulling his phone to his chest now.

“We asked you a question.” Arthur said, raising his eyebrows. “Are you okay, bro?” 

“I don’t know.” Lucas said honestly. “I wanna talk to Eliott, but I don’t know how...’

“Why are you making things complicated? Just go to his place after school and demand a talk.” Arthur said, shrugging it off easily.

“It’s not that simple...” he sighed. “Eliott is not doing well... and that is my fault. I hurt him, because I’m an idiot.” he looked down at the food on his plate.

“Well, that is not news to us.” Yann said, trying to tease his friend a little. “Look, we all can see how much you care about the guy. Are you sure he wants this too? Because it has been a week since you guys had the fight and he haven’t talked to you at all.” he said on a serious tone now. Lucas looked up at him, seeing the concern in his eyes, but he was also worried. They probably never saw him being so affected by another person, and that just confirmed how gone he was for Eliott.

“He put a drawing in my locker.” he said and sighed when the boys looked confused. “He’s an artist, it’s his way to communicate.” he explained.

“Okay, what was on the drawing?” Basile asked while he stuffed some greenish looking pasta into his mouth. 

“It was just... him being sad and drawing with a lot of crumpled papers around him.” he explained and started to poke his broccoli again.

“So that means he was thinking of you, isn’t it?” Basile said, surprising his friends with his intellectual question. “I mean he probably tried to draw something that could express his feelings, but it was so hard that he decided to show you how he can’t find the right words.” he continued, shoving more pasta in his mouth and chewing loudly on it. 

“Looks like our friend here still have some leftover braincells to use.” Arthur said with an impressed smile. “Nice speech, Baz.”

“This pasta is fucking good.” he said now, still munching, Lucas chuckled a little. 

“By the way, Daphné asked me to help her repaint the mural in the common room. I thought we could do it together.” he offered with a soft smile, making his pasta-eating friend beam to the news.

“Daphné asked? We will help! Of course! I will paint something for her and she is going to fall in love with me.” he said excitedly.

“Yeah, that’s a great idea. Some fun time together wouldn’t hurt.” Arthur added and he started to eat his food too.

“Sure, bro.” Yann smiled at his best friend. “You can always count on us.” 

“Thanks, guys.” Lucas said with a grateful smile, still not touching his meal.

 

Tuesday went by slowly, Lucas was suffering without knowing what’s up with Eliott. He didn’t see him at school, he wasn’t on literature class, he didn’t text back. It was hard not to contact him again, but after that drawing, he knew that Eliott probably needed time to think and collect his thoughts. He decided to text Sofiane instead, hoping that he will have some information on his beloved, tall boy. 

 **lucallemant**  
Hey  
You have any news on Eliott?

 **sofalaoui**  
I am not supposed to talk to you

 **lucallemant**  
Come again?

 **sofalaoui**  
Eliott asked me not to talk to you

 **lucallemant**  
Now THAT is bullshit

 **sofalaoui**  
He needs time  
Believe me, I want you guys to be back together more than anyone  
But the health of my friend is much more important   
He suffered a lot because of you

 **lucallemant**  
I didn’t mean to hurt him

 **sofalaoui**  
I know, but it happened  
Just make sure you won’t screw it up again

Lucas couldn’t say anything to that, he just locked his phone and sighed, leaning back on the couch. He stared at the ceiling for long minutes before closing his eyes. Memories of Eliott were haunting his brain, making his chest hurt yet again. He didn’t even try to fight back them, he deserved to remember those, even if it caused him to feel pain. 

 

_They were laying in bed, arms wrapped around each others, legs entangled. Afternoon sun warmed their skin, lighting up their faces. Eliott’s eyes looked even more beautiful in the bright sunlight, his eyelashes were so long, his hair seemed almost gold. Lucas slid his hand up to put it on Eliott’s face, rubbing his cheek with his thumb. The tall boy shot him a soft smile, moving his head a little so their foreheads touch. He chuckled, giving him a soft peck on the lips, then he pulled back, but Eliott didn’t let him, chasing after him to have a much more passionate kiss._

_Lucas smirked into his lips, sliding his hand into Eliott’s soft locks, grabbing them a little to pull him closer. Their tongues were dancing, making sloppy sounds. The boy made sure their body is as close as possible. As they separated, Eliott started to shower his face with soft kisses. One on the forehead, one on the nose, on the cheeks, on he jaw, under his eyes. Lucas couldn’t help, but let out a little giggle._

_“What are you doing?” he asked, circling his fingers on the other’s neck.  
_

_“Kissing you.” Eliott said with a playful smile and bit his lip gently. “You are so beautiful.”  
_

_“That’s just so fucking cheesy.” Lucas mumbled, burying his face into Eliott’s neck now to hide his blush. They were doing this since almost a day now, laying in bed, kissing, cuddling, but the soft compliments still made his heart race like a crazy horse.  
_

_“Yeah, I know.” he said smiling, planting a soft kiss on Lucas’ hair. “But I love how you react when I say something like that.” he chuckled and put his hand on the boy’s neck, caressing his skin. “The way you just bury your face into me, the little whining noise you make... I wanna make sure I remember all these moments, because I’ve never been so happy before.” he whispered softly, right into Lucas’ ear. He felt shiver going through his spine, making him feel things he never did before. His face was still pressed to Eliott’s neck and he wasn’t planning to pull back anytime soon. He tightened his grip around the other’s body, holding him close, breathing in his soft smell, enjoying the warmth of him. Eyes closing slowly, as he let himself drift off into the sea of happiness with this gorgeous man in his arms.  
_

Wednesday came as fast as an old lady crossing the street in the early hours of the day. Slow and painful. Lucas felt like every move he does required twice the strength that it did before. Getting out of bed, brushing teeth, dressing up, going to school. When he was standing at his locker, he felt ten years older, or even twenty. He let out an exhausted sigh, packing his stuff in and out of the locker before going to his classes. When he was finished, lock on the door and everything, he turned around and almost dropped his bag in shock. 

A crowd of people entered the halls, being loud, asking questions, making weird sounds, mostly girls to be honest. But the thing that catched Lucas’ eyes was the boy in the middle of them, Eliott. He looked fairly okay, hair messy as usual, eyes looking tired, surrounded with dark circles, the bruise on his left cheek fading away. He had a smile on his face as he looked at all the girls around him, trying to keep his pace slow, so he won’t be knocking over any of them. Lucas could tell that even if he was smiling, he wasn’t happy at all. He knew it, because his eyes looked sad, exhausted even, not a bit of happiness reaching them. 

He leaned to the lockers, trying to catch his breath as the crowd passed by him, when suddenly, like a lightning struck him, Eliott raised his head, looking at his direction. The boy was sure that his brain stopped working, his heart gave up on pumping blood into his body. He froze right then and there. The face Eliott made was painful to watch. He looked sad, longing in his eyes, but he pursed his lips, forcing himself to look away, bringing his focus back on the girls around him. 

Lucas felt tears bundling up in his eyes, he slid down to the floor, hugging his bag to his chest. As he tried to normalize his breathing, he noticed his friends walking to him, Yann immediately kneeling down to his friend, putting a hand on his shoulder, looking concerned.

“Lulu, what’s wrong?” he asked worryingly. Arthur and Basile stood behind him, also looking corcerned.

“He’s here...” Lucas mumbled, rubbing off the tears from his cheeks.

“Eliott?” Arthur asked surprised and looked around. “Did he talk to you?” 

“No.” he shook his head, almost a bit too intensely, feeling dizzy after it. “He just walked by with some girls...” 

“Girls?” Basile raised an eyebrow.

“He’s the most popular guy in the school, remember.” the blond friend said and he helped Yann to scoop Lucas up from the floor. He was still shaking, so his best friend kept holding his arm. 

“I wasn’t ready for this.”

“I can tell.” Arthur said, smiling just a little. “Listen here, Lulu. We know how much you like him, but you can’t let these emotions take over your life, okay?” he said softly, rubbing the boy’s upper arm. “Whatever happens next, whatever he says when you talk to him, just remember that you are not alone.” 

“There are millions of Eliotts out there, Lulu. But you?  **You**  are unique!” Basile said seriously, pointing at his friend like he won the lottery just now. Lucas felt warmth spreading in his chest, making him happy. He opened his arms and pulled all three of his friends into one big group hug. They hugged back immediately, almost crashing his bones in the process. Lucas laughed, his friends laughed. It was a wholesome moment for them. 

 

He didn’t see Eliott anymore that day, but he heard girls talking about him on the halls. It was slightly infuriating, hearing them saying things like “He smiled at me” or “I think he likes me” or “Isn’t he gay?” It made him pissed, so he decided to join the girl squad at the common room after school. The place looked much better than before, there was a table soccer, multiple board games, a computer, nice carpet on the floor, the pink chairs Lucas painted for the girls, the big table, couches and armchairs to chill and a huge chalkboard that was filled with funny messages and little drawings. The only thing that was off his the ugly mural, but that will be fixed soon, so the room can look the way Daphné imagined. 

He flopped down in the armchair, after he dropped his bag on the floor, joining to the girls. They all smiled at him fondly and he returned the smile. He pulled up his legs and listened to them, talking about some vacation. He couldn’t really focus, his mind kept going back to this morning, when he saw Eliott on the school hall. It felt like an eternity since they last met, but it was only a few days ago. 

“So, Lucas.” Daphné said suddenly, dragging him out of his thoughts. This girl never let him sink into his mind, she just had to talk to him, which was sweet, but also a tiny bit annoying. 

“Yes, Daphy?” 

“What is going on with you and Eliott?” she asked suddenly, casually, like it’s not a big thing for him. Lucas felt his blood froze in his veins, his brain stopped working and he was just staring at Daphné in disbelief. 

“Are you serious?” Imane said now, sounding really upset. “You can’t ask something like this out of nowhere.” she said, looking really disappointed in her blonde friend. 

“Why not? I was just curious and they would be a lovely couple...”

“Daphné, stop.” Imane raised her hand, but looking at Lucas now. “Don’t answer her. We get that you need your time.” 

“Yeah, just don’t feel like we wanna push you into talking.” Manon added with a soft smile. 

Lucas sighed, finally able to breathe again. Daphné’s ignorance shocked him a little, but seeing how much Imane and Manon cared about him helped to get himself back into the real world. As the boys told him, he can’t be worrying about Eliott all the time, he can’t chew on this for eternity. He had to let himself enjoy his life and talk things out. The girls were his friends and friends talk to each other about problems.

“We haven’t talked in a while...” he started and looked at the ceiling. “We had some serious thing going on between us... before I got outed.” 

“Is that the reason why you didn’t come to my party?” Emma asked curiously, catching the opportunity to talk openly. 

“Yeah, he was with his parents for a week, he texted me that he’s back... I went to meet him and things happened.” he let out a deep breath, looking at the girls now, regretting immediately. All of them turned towards him, eyes wide open, ready to take in everything he says. “We spent the weekend together.” 

“That explains a lot of things.” Manon said with a knowing grin and Lucas giggled. 

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. We were just... well, lost in each other, I might say. I totally forgot to check my messages.” he said, feeling a slight blush taking place on his cheeks. The girls laughed, softly and fondly.

“So, you like him, right?” Daphné asked, making Imane slap her shoulder gently, but still enough to let her know that she was being inappropriate yet once again. Lucas chuckled. 

“Well, yes. I like him a lot.” he said honestly. The girls smiled at him widely, but he got distracted by the buzzing of his phone. He pulled it out of his pocket and saw a message from Sofiane, but as he opened instagram, something else catched his eye.

 **srodulv**  liked your post

He gasped. It was the photo he posted on monday morning, with the Ferris wheel from Love, Simon. And that fucking quote. He suddenly felt embarrased, knowing that Eliott actually saw that and he even liked it. All of this was so sudden, he didn’t know what to think about this. Eliott was making small moves towards him, despite the fact that last friday he was cold as ice whenever they met. He was still shaking when he got another notification.

 **srodulv**  started following you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not fluffy as I planned to be, but the hell is almost over, I promise! They will get back together, because they are destined to be with each other. Thank you so much for reading and commenting, I love all of you. I will write more Eliott POV once it comes to a oint where it's necessary for the story


	9. I want the best for you

##  **I want the best for you**

 

Lucas was staring at his phone for probably an hour or so. He was at the flat with the boys, sitting on the couch. They were playing some video game, but he couldn’t care much. He kept checking his followers on instagram, seeing the blessed username still being there. Of course he immediately followed Eliott back, but since then there was no sign of him. He didn’t text Lucas or liked any other posts on his profile. He was still nervous, afraid that it was just a mistake and the boy could unfollow him at any second. 

When he was refreshing his follower list for like the hundredth time, Yann let out an annoyed sigh and snatched the phone from his hand. Lucas made an inhuman noise, getting the attention to the other two friends. Basile quickly paused the game. The short boy still tried to get back his phone, but his best friend had long arms and kept him back by placing his hand on Lucas’ chest. 

“No, this stays at my hands. You are being obsessed, man. What are you even looking at?” he asked, checking the phone screen and rolled his eyes. “Are you serious? He’s not gonna unfollow you.”

“Why not? Maybe it was a mistake and he will unfollow when he notices...” he started to ramble.

“Lucas, he’s trying to reach out, you shouldn’t be so worried about it.” Arthur said with a serious look, putting the controller on the coffee table. 

“But what if...”

“Lucas, just stop talking.” Basile said, surprising his friends yet once again. “You said that you like this guy, right? He’s out there, liking the post you made about him, following you on instagram and sending you drawings. What is holding you back? He is into you, I’m sure about that.” his face was serious, looking straight into his friend’s eyes, Lucas couldn’t respond to that, because he had a good point. Arthur on the other hand was smiling brightly, making him look even more handsome. 

“Baz, you really make that damned braincell work hard lately.” he said and squeezed his friend’s shoulder proudly. 

Yann smirked too, still holding Lucas’ phone in his hands, making sure that his best friend doesn’t check his instagram again. The short boy sighed with a fond smile on his face, then he got up to bring some beer from the kitchen. Not too much, since it was only wednesday, but they still can have some fun. He couldn’t remember the last time he was together with the boys like this. Just chilling home, playing video games, drinking beer and talking shit. 

 

Thursday went by eventless, Lucas didn’t see Eliott all day, even though they wew supposed to have literature together. He got just a tiny bit worried, but he tried to live up to what Basile said to him, But he couldn’t help himself. After school, he had to open his chat with Eliott and the chaotic idiot in his head decided to text him.

 **lucallemant**  
Literature was boring today, we were talking about Rouge et Noir, did you read that one? 

He locked his phone now and put it down next to him on the couch, trying to focus his brain on the tv. Lisa was sitting not too far from him, wrapped in a blanket, staring at the screen with the dumbest face she could just make. Lucas smiled a little, he started to like her inevitable presence here, it made him feel like he wasn’t alone. He got up and walked to the kitchen, making some sandwiches, since he just noticed how hungry he was. 

When he finished eating, he walked back to the living room, hopping down next to his flatmate, who let out a disapproving groan. Lucas giggled, grabbing his phone and checking it. He almost had a heart attack when he saw Eliott’s username on the screen, unlocking it quickly and checking the message he got from him. 

 **srodulv**  
Yeah, it’s a great book, you should read it too 

Lucas heart started to beat insanely fast and he wished he could have a room to run back to. He wanted to jump up and down in happiness, squealing like a baby seal and then throw himself on the bed as he types an answer. But he had to accept the little space on the couch, pulling up his legs, shaking uncontrollably. He had to start the sentence at least five times, because he kept making typos and writing stupid shit. He had to keep himself at the subject and not bringing up things between them. Eliott answered because he was talking about literature, which is one of his favorite subject in school. 

 **lucallemant**  
I’m not a big reader and that book is LONG 

 **srodulv**  
Books are supposed to be long

 **lucallemant**  
Yeah, not my thing

 **srodulv**  
You are just one grumpy hedgehog, huh? 

 **lucallemant**  
I guess that’s my speciality

After that he got no response, but he still felt like he is the happiest guy on this planet. He hugged the phone to his chest, enjoying the serenity taking over his thoughts. Long minutes passed and the light buzz in his hand pulled him out of his thoughts. He was hoping it was a message from Eliott, but he felt just a little disappointment seeing the username of the sender.

 **sofalaoui**  
Did you do something?   
Lucas, he is fucking smiling  
I can’t explain how happy this makes me, but he’s smiling again 

Lucas was overwhelmed by his own feelings that these messages caused him. It was from Eliott’s best friend, who knew him better than anyone. He was saying that Eliott, the guy he was head over heels for is smiling again, after long times of being sad and depressed. He couldn’t handle this, so he just went to the bathroom, washing his face and staring at his reflection for long, agonizing minutes. 

He got startled by the knocking on the door. It was Lisa, she had to use the bathroom, so Lucas left and took his opportunity to lay on the couch. He was holding his phone to his chest, humming happily. Minutes passed when he felt buzzing, quickly checking what it was. Another text from Eliott.

 **srodulv**  
So Rouge et Noir is the current book? 

 **lucallemant**  
Yeah

 **srodulv**  
Okay, just wanna make sure I’ll catch up on things for tomorrow

Lucas felt his heart beating in his throat, reading the text over and over again. Was this meaning that Eliott will come to school tomorrow? That they will have literature together? After such a long time. He tried to breathe through his nose, calm down his heart while he texted back.

 **lucallemant**  
Good, gotta keep up that reputation of yours, right? 

 **srodulv**  
Sort of 

 **lucallemant**  
Tomorrow is going to be a long day

 **srodulv**  
Why is that? 

 **lucallemant**  
Daphné asked me and the boys to repaint that mural from hell after school

 **srodulv**  
I see

Lucas didn’t know what to answer to that. He didn’t wanted to seem pushy by inviting Eliott to the common rom with them. It wasn’t easy for him to text back, so he probably doesn’t wanna rush meeting in person. And they will have literature together, so he’s going to see and be close to Eliott no matter what. At least he was hoping that it will be the case.

 

In the morning Lucas panicked. He was running around in the house, into the bathroom, then to the kitchen, back to the living room and repeated that circle until he bumped into a really annoyed Mika. The older boy grabbed his waist, making sure that he stops whatever he was doing and looked him straight in the eyes.

“Kitten, I’d really appreaciate if you’d stop this like  **right now**.” he said, sounding like a disapproving parent.

“But Mika... I don’t know what to do, Eliott is going to come to school today and we’ll be having a class together and I just...”

“Okay, stop.” Mika raised his hand to stop his flatmate from rambling. “Is Eliott the guy you like? The one you had a thing with? That broke your heart?” he asked, raising his eyebrows so high they disappeared behind his dark locks.

“Yeah... also no. I mean, he didn’t break my heart... not completely...” he mumbled and looked at the ceiling now, letting out quiet curses under his breath before continuing. “I am still into him and it seems like he feels the same... we just had a conflict.” he tried to explain things without saying too much. It was burning inside him to tell people why it was difficult with Eliott, but he knew that sharing information about his mental illness wasn’t something he could just do.

“Okay, so you are so whipped for this Eliott guy that you don’t know... What to wear to school?” Mika asked, voice a bit high-pitched, a playful smirk appearing on his face and Lucas can feel the blush taking place on his cheeks.

“Well... I just... It’s not...” he mumbled and then just sighed. “Yeah, sort of.” he admitted. 

After that there was a really long and painful moment where Mika tried to pick him nice clothes that Lucas dismissed immediately. He tried to fix his hair, but the boy cut him off after he saw the hair products in his flatmate’s hand. All in all he put on navy blue jeans, a nice grey shirt and his favorite grey hoodie. He packed up black sweatpants and a shirt too, just to not ruin his outfit during the painting after school. 

He finally left the place, hearing Mika yelling stupid shit after him like “Go get him, tiger” and “Make that man yours”. Lucas felt really embarrassed and just wanted to get to school in one piece, without having a heart attack. At least his stupid flatmate helped him forget about the Eliott issue. He only remembered it again when he entered the school building and saw  _him_. Standing by the lockers, cocky smile on his face as he talked to Alex. 

Lucas stopped by the doorway, staring at him, like he’s a unique statue on an exhibition. He could be. Considering that he looked so damn fine on this beautiful friday morning. Hair messy like always, shining in the sunlight, wearing black jeans, black shirt and a navy blue denim jacket. The sleeves were rolled up, showing off his forearms and that sweet tattoo on it. Lucas remembered how many times he traced his fingers up and down, kissing it even. 

He got so lost in his thoughts that he jumped a little when Alex yelled his name. His face felt much more warm that it should have been as he looked up from Eliott’s forearm and their eyes met. There was something in them that made Lucas’ stomach do a backflip. He couldn’t look away, especially not when that familiar, soft smile started to take place on the tall boy’s face. His heart fluttered in his chest. 

“Lucas, are you here?” he jumped yet once again when Alex snapped his fingers just inches from his face.

“What? Who... Yeah, I’m here.” he mumbled, shaking his head and looking away from Eliott, who stayed at his place thank god. “Good morning, Alex.”

“Morning.” he said with a wide smirk now. “How’s it going today?” 

“Good... yeah, I’m doing okay. What about you?” he asked, trying to play cool, not glancing over the tall, handsome boy who seemed to have fun watching him being awkward.  ** _Fuck you for being so smooth, Eliott!_**

“I’m fine. You know, Eliott and I were just talking about my party tonight.” he explained.

“You’re throwing a party again?” Lucas raised his eyebrows. “But you had a party like... two or three weeks ago.” 

“What can I say? I love doing parties and my parents are always out for business.” he said smirking, shrugging it off easily. “You wanna come?” 

“I’m not sure. I have to repaint the mural in the common room with the guys. You know Daphné, she’ll kill us if we don’t do it now.” he said with an apologetic smile. He really wanted to go, especially if Eliott will be there, but he can’t choose him over his friends once again. That would be a dick move after all of their support.

“Sure, I get it.” Alex said and gently punched him on the shoulder. “Take care, little one.” he smirked and walked back to Eliott. 

Lucas let out a sigh as he watched the two boys just walking away. He pulled out his phone to check something, probably the time, but he wasn’t even sure, when a notification popped up at the top of his screen that he got a message. He clicked on it and almost had a heart attack.

 **srodulv**  
You look pretty when you blush

Okay, this was not the right time to panic, but Eliott was just straight up flirting with him, shamelessly. While they were on bad therms. He didn’t know what to respond, so he just shoved his phone into his bag and walked to his class. This was making no sense. Eliott ignored him for almost a whole week, avoiding the only class they shared and now he was back with his cheesy flirts and soft smiles? How is he supposed to react to that? 

 

Lucas didn’t know how to feel during the day, especially not when literature class came and he had to sit next to Eliott. The boy seemed to be in a good mood, but they haven’t really talked to each other, he was actually doodling in his notebook during the whole class. It was just weird and Lucas started to have doubts. He really liked Eliott and wanted to try this relationship with him, but these sudden changes just made him confused. He was thinking that this might be because of his bipolarity, but he had to get rid of that thought. He had to shut out the negativity and just jump into this. It was something that made him happy, made him feel things he never felt before. This was the right thing. 

 

Lucas was mad when the boys said they will be late. He just finished his classes, walking towards the common room. It was already 15:34 and he still had to wait for that three idiots to get their shit together. He didn’t wanted to stay in school until midnight to paint a damn wall. Not like he had better things to do and he really hoped that his friends weren’t planning on ditching him. He put away his phone after texting back the boys, opening the heavy door. 

The common room looked so different, furniture moved to the sides, covered in plastic sheets, so is the floor, while the ugly ass mural was now fully visible in its terrible glory, having two spotlight on the sides of it. Lucas was glad that Daphné and the girls did the preparations and bought the paints for them, because he had no patience for that part. But he suddenly forgot everything when he saw a person, standing in front of the mural, hands shoved into his pockets. Lucas could only see his back, but he could pick out that hair from the biggest crowd anytime.

“Eliott...” he mumbled, dropping his bag on the floor. The door behind him slammed shut loudly, which startled the tall boy. He turned around and looked at Lucas with a shy smile on his face.

“Hey.” 

“What are you doing here?” he asked shocked, looking around to make sure no one else is in the room. It was just the two of them. 

“I was the one who offered to repaint the mural in the first place.” He said and shrugged. 

“That’s true... but I told you that I’ll do it with the guys.” he mumbled, talking nonsense, since his brain decided to take off the rest of the day apparently.

“Lucas, can you please notice that I’m trying my very best to have a face to face talk with you... alone.” he said, looking serious now, turning his whole body towards the short boy. Lucas had troubles breathing now, but his legs moved on their own, walking forward until it was just a few steps between them. 

“Okay then. I am here, we are alone.” he said, looking into the stormy eyes, feeling everything at once. Attraction, nervousness, fear, excitement, happiness, sadness. It was overwhelming, but he could handle it, if Eliott was there by his side.

“I think you should tell your friends to not come.” Eliott suggested with a little smile on his face. “If you really want us to have alone time...” 

Lucas just nodded, pulling his phone out of his pocket and opening the chat with the boys. He felt a bit bad that he’s ditching them once again, but this was important for him and Eliott. They had to talk and if it had to happen in the common room while painting a fucking wall, then so be it. 

 **Lucas**  
Guys, I’m so sorry, but can you not come to the common room today? 

 **Arthur**  
What’s wrong? We’ll be there, just late.

 **Yann**  
Yeah, don’t be so upset, Lulu

 **Basile**  
I have great ideas

 **Lucas**  
It’s not that...  
Eliott is here and i wanna be alone with him 

 **Arthur**  
Woah, that was unexpected

 **Yann**  
I don’t like this... 

 **Lucas**  
It’s gonna be fine, and he was the one who offered Daphné to repaint this shit anyways, so...

 **Basile**  
But I wanted to impress Daphné...

 **Yann**  
We’ll go somewhere to drink  
You do you and smooth things out with that guy, Lulu

 **Arthur**  
Good luck

Lucas sighed and put away his phone, looking at Eliott, who was now looking through the buckets of paints, checking all the colors. He opened the white ones, also grabbing a paint roller. The boy had to smile seeing his determined expression. He really wanted to make something out of this mural. 

“I told the guys.” he said which got the other’s attention quickly, glancing at Lucas over his shoulder. 

“Good, help me with this then.” he said and nodded his head towards the supplies. “Grab a roller, we’ll be painting it white first, making a clean canvas.” 

“Sure thing.” he said and did exactly what Eliott asked him to. 

They both had a bucket of white paint, starting to cover up the mural with it. None of them said a word during the process, but it felt alright. Lucas was sure that this was just to make both of them relaxed and comfortable before starting the real conversation. He hoped that the tall boy will soon open up to him, telling him whatever he feels about him... about whatever is going on between them. 

“You failed there.” he heard suddely, being startled by the closeness of the voice. Eliott was stading right next to him, pointing to a little spot where the mural was still visible under the paint.

“That wasn’t on purpose.” he mumbled, feeling dizzy now that this handsome, tall boy was being so close. 

“I can’t let you fail like that on me.” 

“I am not failing on you. Have some trust in me.” he said a bit angrily, looking at the boy, who now had a huge, blinding smile on his face. Lucas let out a relieved sigh. “You are beautiful when you smile.” he mumbled, surprising both Eliott and himself. 

“Say that again.” the tall boy demanded, leaning close to him. Lucas blushed heavily, turning his head away, staring at the almost fully covered mural. He made a squeaky noise when Eliott slid an arm around his waist, pulling him closer. “I missed you.” he whispered, resting his chin on the boy’s shoulder now. Lucas shivered and turned back to face Eliott, their lips were almost touching like that. He looked into the stormy grey eyes, letting out a soft sigh which made the tall one smile softly.

“I missed you too, Eliott.” he mumbled, letting the paint roller slip out of his hand, wrapping his arms around Eliott’s neck. 

“I think we have things to talk about.” he kept whispering, leaning his forehead to Lucas’. “I said... mean things to you.”

“Yeah, but so did I.” he admitted and closed his eyes for a moment before continuing. “I hit you... I shouldn’t have done that.” 

“I kinda deserved it...”

“No, you didn’t.” Lucas shook his head and slid his hands on Eliott’s face, cupping it gently. “All of this was my fault, I kissed you in public, not the other way around.” he said and sighed. 

“I should have told you about my bipolarity sooner.” 

“Listen here... Having a mental illness is something people can’t just talk about casualy. I understand why you were hesitating with it.” Lucas smiled, caressing his cheeks with his thumbs. “You know... my mother is ill too.” he said suddenly, feeling like he had to get this rock off his chest, be honest with this guy in front of him. 

“What?” Eliott asked a bit shocked, leaning back a little so he could study the boy’s face. 

“She thinks that the apocalypse is coming, that Jesus and God are talking through her to save our soul.” he started, looking into the other’s eyes. “She is going to therapies and doing well, but sometimes she snaps. I don’t see her often, because... we had a hard time in my family. My father left us last year, cause he couldn’t handle her outbursts, then my mom’s condition got worse, I had to skip school to stay home with her, but I was just so useless... The only thing my father did for her was to hire a nurse and pay for her therapy. I was really sad and upset those days, Mika found me in front of a gay bar, totally wasted. He took me to his place and let me stay in their basement for a few weeks. When Manon found out about me, she was already packing up to London, so she let me take her room.” he finished his story with a deep sigh, leaning his forehead on Eliott’s chest. He couldn’t say anymore, this was already too much at once. His fucked up family could be enough reason for the boy to leave him right now, before things go further. 

“Okay...” Eliott sighed and wrapped both of his arms around Lucas now, pulling him as close as possible, burying his face into the soft hair. “Thank you for telling me all that.” he said softly. “I guess it’s my turn to share my dark backstory now.” his tone was a bit playful which made Lucas smile. He looked up at Eliott with that blissed expression on his face that was basically too seductive for the tall boy. He had to breathe in and then out, holding himself back from kissing this beautiful person in his arms. 

“You don’t have to.” Lucas said softly. “I can wait.”

“I really don’t think I deserve you, Lucas.” he sighed now, touching their foreheads again. “I’ve been through so much shit in my life... especially after I got diagnosed... And here you are, looking at me like that... making me harder to not kiss you.”

“Why can’t you kiss me?” he pouted, looking like a sweet hedgehog now who didn’t get his afternoon cuddles. Eliott chuckled. 

“Because we have a wall to paint.” he started, nodding towards the almost completely white wall. “And serious things to talk about.” he said, cupping the boy’s face now. “If I kiss you, we wouldn’t be talking, just making out and I will be fine with it... but there’s things I have to tell you.” 

“We will have time to talk...”

“No, Lucas.” he sighed and let him go now, taking a few steps back. He needed to keep distance, otherwise he would do something he doesn’t want to, just yet. 

“It’s okay, I am not scared.” the boy said seriously.

“You should be.” Eliott said now, looking at him dead in the eye. “There will be times when I won’t be nice, Lucas. When I don’t want you around. I will yell, send you away, slam doors at you... I will hurt you and I don’t think I could survive that. I want the best for you, but that is not me.” his voice cracked at the end, eyes filling with tears. He couldn’t look at the short boy in front of him, he just couldn’t do it. He had to say this to make things clear. He had to break things for good. 

“Okay, that is a bullshit.” Lucas said angrily, putting his hands on his hips. Eliott’s head shot up, looking at him in disbelief.

“Say what?” 

“I said that is a total bullshit. You can’t tell me what is good or bad for me. This is my life, Eliott. If I wanna jump into a relationship with a guy who has bipolar disorder, then so be it. You can’t stop me, because I know you want it to. So cut the bullshit.” he said with a serious and determined look on his face. 

Eliott was just staring at him for a few minutes before a huge smile spread on his face. He took that few steps towards Lucas, scooping him up into his arms into a bone-crashing hug. The short boy laughed happily, hugging him back immediately. They looked into each other’s eyes and not knowing who made the first move, they were kissing. Wildly, passionately, trying to catch up on all those missed out days they weren’t together. Eliott let Lucas down, leaning after him, not letting go of his lips for one second. He held his waist, keeping him close and enjoying this sweet moment. 

Lucas was incredibly happy, feeling the butterflies flutter in his stomach as he wrapped his arms around Eliott’s neck. Their lips were making sloppy and slurping noises. After some time they got a bit dizzy and the tall boy tried to find themselves a solid place to sit down to, but he stumbled into a bucket of red paint, causing him and Lucas to fall, right into the paint. They looked at each other shocked first and then started laughing. Lucas dipped his hand into the bucket and wiped it into Eliott’s shirt. The older boy didn’t let this unanswered, he pulled closer a bucket of blue paint and sprinkled Lucas’ shirt with it. They continued this until their clothes were completely covered in paint, just like their hands, but then Eliott grabbed the short boy’s face, pulling him into a demanding kiss. 

 

Hours later they were standing in front of the repainted mural, looking like they were swimming in a pool of paint. Following Eliott’s suggestion, they tried to do some Jackson Pollock-looking galaxy out of it. The base was blue, pink and purple mixed together quite well, then above that just while, yellow and light blue sprinkled stains. Lucas was actually proud of their work, ignoring the fact that they totally ruined their clothes and wasted way too many paint in the process. Daphné will understand for sure. 

The dried paint on their face, their clothes and in their hair started to feel uncomfortable, but it was kind of embarrassing to leave the room like this. They could still hear some students walking and talking on the hallway. It wouldn’t be hard to make an excuse, but since both of their mouth were a shade of purple mixed from blue and red paint, that couldn’t be explained easily. Lucas glanced at Eliott, who was staring at their work with a satisfied expression on his face.

“We should take a shower.” Lucas said which catched Eliott’s attention. The tall boy looked at him, raising his eyebrows playfully, which made Lucas blush. Thankfully it wasn’t visible with all that paint covering his cheeks. “To get rid of the paint.” he said, trying to sound serious. “I’m pretty sure it’s not good for our skin to have this much paint on it.”

“It might not be healthy, but you look damn hot like this.” he said smirking, while Lucas rolled his eyes. 

“Sure, yeah.” he said clearly unimpressed and walked to his backpack now. He heard the steps behind him on the plastic sheet. Good thing Daphné covered the whole floor, because there was a lot of paint everywhere. 

“How about you get your attention back on me, huh?” Eliott said, sounding like a stubborn child. Lucas shot him a disapproving look over his shoulder before he continued searching in his bag. 

“I have clothes to change to. What about you?” he asked now that he found his jeans and clean shirt. 

“All i have is you, right here, showing that fine butt of yours to me, which is quite impressive, I gotta say.” Eliott replied which made the short boy to turn around and gave him the look, again. 

“Eliott Demaury, stop with the flirting. We gotta wash off the paint.” he said seriously, but a little smile was playing on his lips. He couldn’t be mad at this gorgeous person who made him so damn happy today. 

“Okay then.” he gave up, raising his hands now with a cheeky smile. “Let’s go.”

 

Lucas woke up feeling all sorts of pain in his body. His head felt dizzy, like he was drinking last night, which he was sure he didn’t do. He opened his eyes and turned to his side, but was shocked that he was alone in his “bed”. He sat up so quickly the rom started to spin with him a little. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and looking around. He was in the living room, on the pulled out couch, half naked under the blanket, arms still stained with paint, but Eliott was nowhere to be found. 

He felt waves of feelings washing over him, his eyes filling with tears. He thought that all of yesterday was just Eliott’s way to say goodbye and let him go. That their relationship ended even before it could start. He almost started crying when the tall boy appeared in the living room with two plates in his hands, wearing nothing but a boxer and Lucas’ grey hoodie, unzipped. He smiled brightly until he noticed that something was wrong. He quickly walked to the boy, putting down the plates to the coffee table, cupping Lucas’ face and forcing him to look at him. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked worryingly, caressing his soft skin with his thumbs. Lucas could still smell the paint on his hands and it calmed him down.

“Nothing, I’m sorry.” he mumbled, sobbing a little. “I was just...” he looked at the bed and back at Eliott. The older boy chuckled and gave him a soft peck on the lips.

“Oh my. You thought I left?” he asked with a gentle smile on his face. “I would never leave you, not after what happened yesterday.” he said, leaning forward to knock his forehead on Lucas’ like he always did. The boy smiled now, eyes still a bit red. 

“I know, I was just...”

“I gave you good reasons not to trust me, I know.” he sighed.

“No, it’s not that... It’s just so hard to believe that we are... together.” he mumbled, not really sure if that’s the right therm to use, but it made Eliott’s smile brighter, so he was happy with it. 

“Yes, we are together for sure.” he said and kissed the boy deeply, passionately. 

“Looks like someone found their prince charming on this fine saturday morning.” Mika interrupted them, leaning to the wall that was separating the living room from the hall, having a big smile on his face. Lucas broke the kiss which made Eliott make a cute whining sound and looked at his flatmate over the boy’s shoulder. 

“How nice of you to giving us some privacy.” Lucas said with as much sarcasm as he just could so early in the morning. 

“Grumpy kitten must have a little morning tent in his underpants that has to be handled, huh?” Mika shot back with a wide smirk that made Eliott giggle. Lucas gave him a disapproval look before glancing back to his flatmate. “Just leave, please.” 

Mika just chuckled and waved as he walked into his room, victoriously. Lucas sighed, deeply and looked at the boy in front of him. He had stains of paint on his face too, but he was still that perfect guy he fell for. His hands cupped Eliott’s cheeks before he kissed him slowly, passionately. The tall boy didn’t hesitato to open his mouth and let Lucas deepend the kiss, playing with his tongue. His long fingers wandered into the boy’s long, soft hair, grabbing it just a little to pull him back, getting a little moan out of him as he kept kissing him, a bit more wildly than before. 

They pulled back after long minutes, lips swollen, eyes fully on each other, smiling like idiots. Lucas stroked Eliott’s neck softly, tracing around the stains of paint on his skin. The older boy enjoyed this, but then looked at the plates on the coffee table.

“We should eat it before it gets cold.” he said softly, letting go of the lovely boy, grabbing the plates and giving one to Lucas. 

The boy accepted it, making himself comfortable on the bed and also scooting to the side, giving space for Eliott to sit next to him. It was relaxing to just have a quiet breakfast on his damned couch with the most handsome guy he had ever seen. Who was now apparently his boyfriend too. 

 

Monday morning came like a lightning bolt. Lucas and Eliott spent the weekend at the flatshare, annoying the hell out of Mika and Lisa, while Manon usually just smiled at them like a proud mother. Of course Eliott had to announce their relationship to the whole world by posting on instagram, first by putting a video in his story where he filmed Lucas playing a video game with Mika. Then Lucas decided to  _fuck it_ and took a picture of Eliott laying on the couch, wearing Lucas’ clothes, putting it to his story with bubbling heart gifs around. He was so stupidly in love that he did  **that**. Then Eliott asked him to take a selfie together, and Lucas had nothing against that, so now every single follower of Eliott knew that they are a couple. And to be honest, Lucas felt proud and happy. 

  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked this one, I felt like this is a good way to finish it for now and pack some more fluff to the next chapter. Make sure to tell me your opinions on this. And the insta post is just a little extra, I’m not gonna put those in the chapters of course, but this is just a soft way to end the chapter.


	10. My life is better with you in it

##  **My life is better with you in it**

 

Lucas came home from the grocery store with Manon, finding Eliott playing video games with Mika on the couch. He smiled and put down the bags in the kitchen for the girl to take care of it, joining them. Both guys were so into the game that they didn’t noticed him arriving. He just used his chance to just glance at them lovingly. Eliott seemed so carefree, playing around with his idiot flatmate. He even laughed, looking years younger than he actually was. Lucas leant against the wall, then he cleared his throat, bringing the boys attention to him. 

“Hey guys.” he said softly, looking at his boyfriend lovingly. 

Eliott immediately put down his controller, leaving the game to get up and walk to Lucas, bright smile appearing on his face. He totally ignored the whining Mika was doing because he just left him play alone. He was wearing a bordeaux shirt that belonged to Lucas and grey sweatpants. All that looked lovely on him and made Lucas feel like a beloved boyfriend.

“Hey” he said happily, standing just a feet apart from the other.

“I can see that you’re having fun.” the short boy said on a soft voice.

“Yes, but I still missed you.” Eliott said, putting his hands on Lucas’ face now, kissing him slowly. “How was the shopping?” 

“We got everything we needed.” he shrugged, shooting heart eyes towards his beloved tall boy. “She said we can use her room tonight, since she will be sleeping at Emma’s place.” he said smirking, Eliott’s face lit up in a second.

“Oh really?” he asked excitedly. 

“Yeah, but I had to promise that we will use my bedsheet and not hers.” Lucas chuckled and wrapped his arms around Eliott’s waist. 

“I can deal with that.” he said, rubbing his nose to Lucas’ happily. “Also Lucille will leave tomorrow afternoon, so we can finally go to my place to have more privacy.” he added smirking, licking the boy’s bottom lip seductively. Lucas made a squeaky noise and felt the heat crawling up on his face. 

“Oh, really?” 

“Jesus, guys. You’re making me so sick!” Mika said suddenly, bursting out their happy little bubble with his rudeness. “You two are the cheesiest, most disgustingly romantic couple I’ve ever seen.” he said, making a weird face which made Lucas roll his eyes at him. 

“Shut up, Mika. You are the one showing naked guys on Grindr to your flatmates every saturday.” he said with just a handfull of salt in his voice. 

“There’s no need to be so mean to each other.” Eliott said softly, looking at Mika and then at his boyfriend, caressing his cheeks with his thumbs. “We will take over Manon’s room once she left.” he looked into those bright blue eyes and smiled fondly. Lucas felt like he’s melting into Eliott’s arms, it was still so unbelieveable to have a boyfriend like him. 

“We could go out, it’s still early.” he suggested suddenly. “The boys just texted me that they are at the park, we could meet up with them.” 

“You want me to meet your friends?” Eliott raised his eyebrows in disbelief. Lucas sighed. It was already tuesday afternoon and so far he haven’t had the chance to get the boys and Eliott to meet. This was the last week before their spring break, so the teachers were extra pushy with tests, essays and other stuff. All of them were just busy studying all afternoon and in the small school breaks too. 

“Yeah, they have been begging to me to bring you there with me. I think it’s a great opportunity.” he explained. Not like his friends didn’t know Eliott, but this was still different. He needs to introduce him to his friends as his boyfriend, which was a bit scary, but also exciting. 

“If you really want that, then let’s go.” the tall boy said with a bright smile, kissing Lucas passionately, rubbing his thumbs on his soft cheeks. The short one chuckled between two kisses, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend happily.

 

The park was quiet, considering it was a weekday afternoon, but there were still some kids, couples and people with dogs around. The boys were chilling on a blanket close to the water, around them drinks and opened books. Lucas smiled softly when he saw them, keeping his arm around Eliott who now buried his face into Lucas’ hair. He had to giggle at his boyfriend’s shyness, it was so unusual, but really sweet of him. Since they were together, Lucas got to know the many layers of his personality. He wasn’t as perfect as he always tried to seem like, he could mess up things, say stupid stuff, be speechless and shy. It just made his feelings even stronger. 

When they got closer, Lucas cleared his throat, getting the attention of his friends. Basile looked at them surprised, while Arthur and Yann seemed to be excited to finally have them around. Lucas haven’t really met them since friday either, being too occupied with studying and spending time with Eliott. He smirked at his friends. 

“Hey guys!” he waved. “I guess you guys know Eliott.” he said nodding at the boy next to him. 

“Yeah, of course.” Arthur said, shaking himself out of the shock. 

“Well, Eliott, these are my friends. Arthur, Basile and Yann.” he introduced his friends proudly. “Boy, this is my boyfriend, Eliott.” he said with a wide, bright smirk on his face. 

The boys jumped up fast, surrounding them while laughing and clapping. Lucas blushed a little, enjoying the support of his awesome friends. He was a bit surprised when Yann pulled him out of Eliott’s hands into a bone-crashing hug. He squeaked and then started laughing, hugging his friend back happily. 

“I thought that you will never introduce him to us.” Basile said suddenly. “I mean... we were so damn curious. Did you guys bang in the common...” he started, but let out a groan as Arthur hit him in the stomach with his elbow. “What?” he pouted, wrapping his arms around himself.

“You are being inappropriate.” the blond boy said with a piercing look on his face. 

“Well, I have to disappoint you. We did not.” Eliott said with sudden confidence and a cheeky smile on his face. Lucas eyes shot wide, looking at him in disbelief.

“Are you serious?” he said still shocked and he leant back into Eliott’s arms from Yann’s. “You are unbelievable.” 

“I can’t be honest with your friends?” he asked smiling, kissing the boy on the cheeks. “We had a good time in the common room, but it wouldn’t be a good idea to get naked with all those paint...” he continued his embarrassing story, earning a slap on his mouth from Lucas, keeping his hand there. 

“I think you’ve said enough, Eliott.” he gasped, face red as a tomato. His friends laughed at that.

“I like your boyfriend, Lucas.” Basile said smiling. Lucas could feel Eliott’s cocky smile forming under his palm and jumped when he suddenly licked his hand. The boy pulled back his hand and wiped it in his jeans. 

“Oh, fuck you! Was that necessary?” He complained, looking at the tall boy, while his friends laughed even more.

“It was fairplay.” he winked and pulled him close to give him a kiss on his lips. Arthur smiled brightly, like a proud mother, Basile was obviously jealous, while Yann just seemed happy for his best friend. 

After talking to the boys for almost an hour, they decided to head back home and let them continue studying. On their way Eliott stopped by a bakery, buying croissants for both of them. Lucas smiled softly, enjoying the kindness of his handsome boyfriend. It was nice to have someone that cared for him so much, and he wanted to do the same for Eliott.

When they entered the flat, Manon was just about to go. She kissed the boys on the cheek and left with a bag in her hand. The boys smiled at each other, taking their shoes off and headed to the girl’s room now. Lucas was grateful when he saw that she already changed the sheets, so they could just lay down and enjoy each other’s company. 

The boys were making out for hours, slowly taking off their clothes in the process. First their pants landed on the room floor, then Eliott threw away first Lucas’ shirt and then his own. They were laying in each others arms now, exhausted, lips swollen and red from all the kissing, only wearing their underwears. Lucas rested his head on Eliott’s chest, fingers running up and down on the boy’s stomach. 

“You know what I was thinking?” he asked suddenly, looking up at his boyfriend.

“I can do a lot of things, but reading your mind is sadly not one of them.” he answered with a soft smile, stroking Lucas’ hair gently.

“You jerk.” the short boy chuckled and kissed his chest softly. “There is this thing... Whenever I make a choice I feel that another Lucas in another parallel universe made a different one, maybe the better choice. And there are infinite versions of me out there living different lifes, or even the same as mine just with a small difference.” he mumbled, tracing circles on Eliott’s chest. “There might be a Lucas who lives in a different country, being happy with his own Eliott and going to a fancy college. Maybe there is a Lucas that is still apart from his Eliott, turning to weed as a way of comfort...”

“That sounds a bit sad.” Eliott said, playing with his boyfriend’s hair. “So every Lucas has his own Eliott?” he asked, sounding really interested in the topic, which made Lucas really happy.

“Yeah, there is probably Lucas No.94 who is totally in love with is instagram famous Eliott No.94, or there’s a Lucas No.345 who grew up with his Eliott No.345 having the chance to slowly fall in love with him. Lucas No.265 got into an embarrassing situation which got him into a fake relationship with Eliott No.265 and so on.” he said in a dreamy voice, running his fingers up and down on the small tattoo above Eliott’s heart. 

“I’m sure every Eliott out there is the luckiest bastard for having their own Lucas.” he said smiling, giving a small kiss on Lucas’ head. “You are a real catch.” 

“I am not.” Lucas laughed. “You are just stupid enough to choose someone like me.” 

“Then I like being stupid.” Eliott replied and gave him another kiss on the head. “If that means I can be with your in every single universe.”

“Stop saying smooth things like that.” he mumbled, burying his face into his boyfriend’s neck now. Eliott chuckled, wrapping his arms around the boy, squeezing him gently.

“I can’t stop. I want you to know how I feel.” he whispered softly. 

“Can I ask something?”

“Go for it.” 

“Is there a story behind this tattoo?” he asked, stroking over the beautiful letters on Eliott’s chest. It catched his eyes before to, but he was too shy to ask about it back then. But now they were a couple and they were honest with each other, so he felt like he could ask about things like this.

“Oh yeah, the Life tattoo.” Eliott smiled softly, but there was a little sadness in his voice. “I got that one not much after my girlfriend left me.” he started which made Lucas to pull back a little and look at him, focusing his eyes on his boyfriend. “Her name was Sophie, we were together for almost three years. She was beautiful, kind and we loved each other so much... but things started to happen. Sometimes I got sad for no particular reason, sometimes I felt like a horny teenager from an american movie...” he sighed now, focusing his eyes on Lucas’ hair, running his fingers through it several times. “When I was 15 they diagnosed me with bipolarity... It was a huge shock, both for me and my family. I didn’t dare to tell anyone first, not knowing what to expect. Sofiane knew that something was wrong and he kept asking me until I told him. He and Idriss were really supportive and encouraged me to talk to Sophie. I felt like if they accepted me the way I am, then why would it be different with my beloved girlfriend.” his voice was really bitter now, letting the short boy know that things weren’t exactly smooth. “When I told her and explained what this all means... she yelled at me. She said that I was deceiving her, that she didn’t wanted to live her life with a crazy boyfriend that is depressed one day and excited the other day. She threw at me her necklance I gave her for our three year anniversary and left.”

“Okay, that is really rude.” Lucas said, because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. “That girl clearly didn’t know what she missed out on.” he said with a soft smile, kissing Eliott’s nose, which finally made the boy smile.

“At least I got the opportunity to change schools and meet you.” he shrugged and placed his hand on Lucas’ cheek, caressing it softly. “I was depressed for weeks, not leaving my room, crying my eyes out. My parents, Lucille, Sofiane and Idriss were really worried. Then I got better all of the sudden, which made them suspicious. I could feel their eyes on me in every moment. My sister followed me basically everywhere. It was really annoying. I was feeling better, I decided to do something with my life and I started with designing this tattoo. I got some money after taking the necklance to a pawnshop and I sneaked out one night, going to this shady place downtown. They were asking a bit too much for such a small tattoo, but since it was late and I really wanted it, I agreed on the payment.” he explained with a little smirk. “My family was shocked when they saw it, my mom almost fainted, but I was proud of it.” 

“Does it symbolize something?” he asked curiously.

“It does.” Eliott nodded. “I means that Life is a lie. I feel like that is the truth, that lying is something that will always be part of our lifes, that sometimes we have to lie to live a good life... there’s a lot of meaning to it.” he explained and kissed Lucas on the lips slowly, but passionately. They broke apart after long minutes, the short boy looking at his boyfriend with a dumb smile on his face.

“I know it’s a stupid thing to say, but I am really glad that girl left you. Otherwise we wouldn’t be here, laying in each others arms, talking about our parallel selves.” he said softly, stroking his face before planing a kiss on his soft lips. Eliott chuckled and pulled him closer, kissing him deeply.

“I totally agree. My life is better with you in it.” he said smiling and kissed Lucas again, this time being a bit more demanding and wild than before. The boy wrapped his arms around Eliott happily, pressing their body together as he gave in to the kiss.

 

Wednesday was chaos, the girls hanging on Lucas all day, hoping to see him with Eliott, but the boy was really busy trying to catch up on all the classes he missed the last weeks. Then they just dragged him to the common room to play some stupid board game. He had no choice but agree on it. Of course they couldn’t stop asking questions about his relationship with Eliott, especially not after what he posted on instagram.

  


 

Daphné and Alexia went crazy, asking questions nonstop as they played, confusing everyone, because they had no idea who comes next or who is supposed to move their piece. After 30 minutes of suffering, Lucas got annoyed and got up from the table, walking to the couch and laying down on it. He looked for his phone, checking his messages. There was one from Eliott, some from the gang and one from Sofiane. 

 **srodulv**  
I can’t walk you home today, cause I gotta go to the station with my sister, but see you tomorrow morning 

 **lucallemant**  
Take care, and I hope your sister isn’t mad at me

 **srodulv**  
She is always mad, don’t take it on yourself

 **lucallemant**  
I gotta meet her at some point, though

 **srodulv**  
Just let me take my time with it

 **lucallemant  
** Sure thing 

He sighed, looking at the ceiling. He wouldn’t be seeing his boyfriend until tomorrow. It was already painful not spending time with him, but this just made him feel so damn miserable. It felt so wrong not being with Eliott, not hugging him or holding his hand. He shook his head and decided to check his other messages. The boys were just talking about studying and upcoming tests, so he ignored that.

 **sofalaoui**  
How’s it going, Lucas? You wanna hang out with me and Idriss today? 

 **lucallemant**  
Are you serious?

 **sofalaoui**  
Yeah, why not?   
Eliott will be busy studying and taking care of Lucille

 **lucallemant**  
Okay, meet at the Youth Center? 

 **sofalaoui**  
In an hour?

 **lucallemant**  
You got it

He smiled just a little, at least he will have something to distract himself with. He already liked Eliott’s friends, but it made him extra happy that they actually wanted to hang out with him. And not just Sofiane, but Idriss too. He glanced at the girls who now tried to play some sort of card game, while Imane was reading a book quietly. His eyes wandered off to the new mural he and Eliott created. He couldn’t believe that they had something to remember them how much they mean to each other. Not just a message, a bracelet or a picture, but a whole fucking wall painted by them. Lucas could see the memories again as he stared at the mural. Eliott’s soft lips on his, their touches, the paint fight and just everything. They were standing there, being open with each other. 

 

His afternoon with the boys was a complete blast. He knew that Sofiane was a sunshine, but he had a lot of fun with Idriss. They were mostly teasing and roasting each other, making Sofiane turning into the serious mother sometimes. Of course the favorite joke was always Lucas’ height, which he felt was an unfair topic, considering that Idriss was basically a giant. Although he was acting grumpy and salty, he really had a lot of fun. They posted a shit ton of videos in their insta stories. Idriss recorded Lucas sitting on the swing, Sofiane pushing him laughing. Then Sofiane made a video of Lucas hanging on Idriss’ back, yelling “Go, my horse!” at least 10 times. Lucas mostly posted the two boys running around in the kids park, doing silly shit, while he laughed his ass off in the background. 

They also made selfies together. Lucas posted one with the boys, but he was covering Idriss’ face with his hands. He laughed when the boy saw it and started complaining, posting a selfie with him and Sofiane where only Lucas’ hair was visible. The boy got grumpy at that and started to argue with Idriss, but of course Sofiane, as the good mother he was calmed them down within moments. When it got later, they grabbed some food and Idriss took them home with his car. 

 

In the morning, he was packing stuff to his locker, getting ready for his classes when he suddenly felt long arms sliding around his torso and a warm body pressing to his back. He smiled happily, leaning to Eliott’s chest and glancing up at his beautiful boyfriend. He was ready for their usual morning kiss, but the tall boy seemed to be grumpy. Lucas turned around in his arms and put his hands on his face softly.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked worryingly.

“You were together with Sofiane and Idriss yesterday.” he said, eyes looking darker than ever. Lucas tilted his head, hand still resting on the other’s face.

“Yeah, what’s the problem with that?” he asked, not understanding Eliott’s grumpiness.

“I don’t like it.” he said seriously, which made Lucas feel a tiny bit angry, raising his eyebrows in question.

“You don’t like it that I hang out with your friends?” his tone was maybe a bit too salty, because Eliott’s face flinched, but he couldn’t let himself be treated like this. 

“I don’t like all that stuff you put up on instagram.” he said honestly, looking into the boy’s eyes. “You barely post anything about us, but you are okay to have videos where you ride Idriss’ back?” he asked, voice being sharp and angry. “But I guess you weren’t thinking about my feelings when you did all that.”

Lucas wanted to be mad and yell at Eliott that he didn’t belong to him, that he had all rights to post whatever and with whoever he wanted on his own instagram, but seeing his boyfriend’s upset face kept his mouth shut. He let out a deep sigh, pulling Eliott’s head down until their foreheads were touching, looking into those dark, stormy eyes.

“I am sorry, Eliott. I never meant to hurt your feelings. I just had a good time with the boys... I mean, have you seen my old posts on insta? I never think before putting something out there.” he said softly, even smiling a little, which seemed to calm down his boyfriend. Eliott closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and rubbed his nose to Lucas’. 

“I’m sorry too... I shouldn’t lash out on you like this...”

“Hey, it’s okay.” he said softly, giving him a gentle peck on the lips. “You are sweet when you’re jealous.” he said smirking.

“I don’t know why, but I get jealous easily when it comes to you...” he mumbled, looking into the other’s eyes. “I guess I’m too afraid to lose you.”

“You are not going to lose me, okay?” he said, rubbing his cheeks with his thumbs, smiling softly. “You are worrying too much.”

“Guess you had no idea what you’re getting yourself into when you agreed on being my boyfriend.” he said, a soft smile starting to form on his lips. Lucas chuckled and bit his bottom lip, then kissing him passionately, cupping his face in his hands still.

“I knew exactly what I have to deal with.” he said smirking when they broke apart. “And I regret nothing.” he added, stroking Eliott’s wet lips with his thumb. 

The tall boy seemed to be calmed down now, mouth slightly open, like he’s ready for the next kiss, eyes looking cloudy. Lucas had to admit that he was super hot when he got angry, but this soft, lovestruck expression on his face was just so soft and lovely, he felt extra lucky on this fine thrusday morning. Having a boyfriend like Eliott was a blessing. 

“You know, Idriss told me that there will be a party on this saturday... he said that Imane and the girls will be coming and he asked if me and the boys wanna join.” he said softly, studying the expressions on the boy’s face, but he seemed to be okay for now, he even smiled a little.

“You wanna go?” 

“I will be going if you come with me.” Lucas answered seriously.

“That is not answer to my question.” he raised his eyebrows. “Do you wanna go or not?” 

“I think it could be fun.” he shrugged and kissed the corner of Eliott’s mouth. “I wanna dance and drink with you. Showing everyone that I have a beautiful boyfriend.” his words seemed to cheer up Eliott completely, because now his eyes were sparkling, toothy smile appearing on his face.

“In that case we are going.” he said happily and pulled Lucas closer to kiss him wildly. They completely forget that they were on the school hallway, it was just the two of them in their happy little bubble, until the ringing of the bell pulled them back to reality. They broke apart, looking at each other sadly and grabbed their bags. Eliott walked Lucas to his classroom, giving him a few kisses before he went for his own class too.

 

The party was loud, crowded. This was a big party in an actual bar. The bey were really impressed as they entered the place, music thumping in their ears, drumming on their chests. Eliott pulled his boyfriend closer, making sure to protect him from all the people that were dancing around them. Yann, Basile and Arthur got excited, looking for some booze immediately. Lucas followed them, while still leaning into the protecting arms of his boyfriend. He liked and hated this at the same time. It was nice to finally go out and have some fun after this stressful week, but he hated that the bar was so damn full. 

When they got to order some drinks, the gang asked for beer, just like Lucas, while Eliott went for a zero coke. They talked about this before leaving, the tall boy wanted to let his sweet boyfriend to have a good night, so he agreed to stay sober, while Lucas can drink as much as he wanted. He was a bit surprised by the idea, but then realized that Eliott probably liked to avoid getting drunk because of his illness. 

After everyone had a bottle in hand they settled at a table in a quieter corner. Eliott sat down first, pulling Lucas on his lap, who gladly took his place, smirking proudly. He enjoyed his boyfriend’s arms wrapping around him, feeling his breath on the nape of his neck. His friends smirked at them, but had nothing to comment on it, they all just started drinking. Of course Basile couldn’t shut up for too long and he started to talk about how he’s definitely going to get a girl for himself tonight. Arthur, like the good friend he was obviously supported him, giving him some advice and saying positive stuff between two gulps of his beer. 

At some point Yann disappeared with a really pretty brunette girl, probably Chloé, the one he was dating with. Then Basile got some confidence from the three bottles of beer he chugged up and decided to get himself in action, Arthur following him like a mother chicken. There was just the two of us. Lucas felt a bit dizzy, considering he also drank a few bottles of alcohol by now. He turned aroun on Eliott’s lap to face his boyfriend, who seemed to really enjoy the situation. He still haven’t drink his first bottle of coke, because his hands were always occupied with touching Lucas. 

“You look beautiful today.” he whispered, filling the space between their faces with the smell of beer. Eliott smiled softly, keeping his hands on his waist, pulling him a little closer. Lucas already had his knees resting on the bench next to Eliott’s thighs, but now he got a little excited as their crotches got so close. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s neck. 

“You are beautiful too, my dear.” Eliott said softly, his thumbs slowly sliding under Lucas’ shirt to caress his bare skin under it. The short boy shivered and his face got a little red shade on it after that. 

“I just wanna go home with you and kiss all night.” he mumbled, leaning his forehead on Eliott’s shoulder, taking deep breaths.

“We can’t, you promised Idriss and Sofiane to come, and I want you to have fun with all of our friends.” the tall boy said softly, stroking his boyfriend’s back now, only one hand wandering under the soft material of the shirt. 

Lucas let out a disappointed sigh and started to shower Eliott’s neck with kisses. He had no shame thanks to the amount of alcohol in his body. His lips wandered up and down, licking his boyfriend’s earlobe, his jawline and even sucking soft mark on his skin. Eliott shivered, grabbing the boy’s waist tighter, fingers gripping into the warm skin under the shirt. He obviously enjoyed the attention of his tipsy boyfriend, but he gently pulled back Lucas’ head by grabbing his hair softly. The boy had a dazzled look on his face, eyes opened wide, pupils so big that his eyes almost looked black. Eliott couldn’t believe that such beauty could exist on this world, but it was right in front of his eyes.

“Stop this, before I do something we both regret later.” he mumbled, voice a bit deep thanks to all the tension he was feeling after those kisses. 

“Maybe we should just let it flow.” Lucas muttered, head still held back by Eliott, but he didn’t mind it. Even his hair pulling was as gentle as possible. “Let future Lucas and Eliott deal with the consequences.” he smirked, wiggling his eyebrows seductively. His boyfriend let out a soft giggle, stroking the back of his head now. 

“Don’t you think Lucas No.683 and Eliott No.837 are already making out shamelessly on this party?” he asked smirking. Lucas for some reason found it really pleasing how his boyfriend used his parallel universe theory so casualy. Like he already believed the same. 

“I think Lucas No.483 had already dragged his Eliott home and now they are probably laying in bed together... naked.” he whispered the last word, making the tall boy under him shiver. He smirked victoriously. 

“You clearly have no shame right now, huh?” Eliott laughed, playing with his boy’s hair. 

“Around you? Never.” he smirked and was ready to lean in for a kiss when Idriss and Sofiane appeared next to them.

“Look at this! The party barely started and they are almost having sex.” Idriss said smirking, poking Sofiane’s side with his elbow.

“You guys have no chill for sure.” the boy said smiling and hopped down across the couple, putting his glass of orange juice on the table. His friend joins him too, taking a sip of his beer. Lucas makes an unpleasant noise now, turning around in Eliott’s lap, not even planning to leave that comfortable place. His boyfriend smirks, wrapping his arms around him, fingers gently stroking his stomach through the thin shirt. 

“How are you guys?” Eliott asked casually, resting his head on his boy’s shoulder. 

“We are fine.” Idriss said. “Met the girls before coming here with them.” he smirked. “They are really cute.”

“Imane was actually asking about you two, and I told her that you will be here.” Sofiane added with his angelic smile. 

“Yeah, I still haven’t had time to introduce Eliott to the girls.” Lucas mumbled and let himself relaxed in his boyfriend’s arms. “I mean, they obviously know him, but...”

“You gotta introduce him as your boyfriend.” Sofiane nodded with a soft smile. “I get it. You guys like to rub it into others face, huh?” he said with a cheeky smile, earning a middle finger from Eliott.

“I deserve to show off. Have you seen this boy? He’s gorgeous.” he said proudly, kissing Lucas’ cheek happily, which made the boy let out a cute chuckle. 

“I am the lucky one here.” the short boy said, reaching for a full bottle of beer and taking a sip of it. 

“You sure that you wanna drink more?” Eliott asked concerned.

“Oh, come on, Eli! It’s saturday night and you are not his father.” Idriss said, smirking widely. “Let the boy have some fun tonight.” 

“He can have fun without getting wasted.” he shot back with a disapproving look on his face, tightening his hold around Lucas. The boy chuckled, planting a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

“Don’t fight with your friends. I’m a big boy, I know when to stop drinking.” he giggled and took another sip from his beer.

 

He clearly didn’t know when to stop. Hours went by and Lucas just kept drinking and drinking, until he was just a giggly mess. Eliott didn’t leave him alone all night, being afraid that either he trips in his own feet, getting himself hurt or that he will get into the arms of some perverted asshole, who would use this beautiful, drunk boy for his own pleasure. He couldn’t let that happen. They met a couple times with the boys again, Basile letting them know that he was hooking up with a girl, barely able to speak, since he was almost drunker than Lucas. Yann seemed to be just a bit tipsy, introducing his girlfriend, Chloé to the others. The girl was cute, pretty face, long brown hair and big eyes, she seemed to be happy with Yann, so Eliott obviously congratulated. Arthur seemed to be the most sober of the gang, holding a beer in his hand, but walking steadily, making sure that Basile doesn’t fall. 

Eliott had some troubles with his drunk boyfriend, considering that he kept falling into his arms, laughing and kissing his neck, trying to make him horny. Of course the tall boy felt shivers going through his body with every kiss he got, but his sober brain kept reminding him that he has the responsibility to take Lucas home safe and sound. Also the crowd, the mass of people and the loud music started to get on his nerves, so when he found Sofiane and Imane, he kindly asked them to look out for his boyfriend while he went to the bathroom. 

He washed his face, trying to normalize his breathing. Even if he wasn’t drinking or smoking, his head still felt dizzy. He haven’t took his meds since they got back together with Lucas, because he was feeling okay, but it was probably a stupid idea. He couldn’t help it, he hated that he had to live on meds to be like everyone else, to control his mental illness. It took him a few minutes to calm down. He splashed cold water on his face once again before walking back to the others, fairly remembering where he left his boyfriend. 

When he got there, he was shocked. Lucas was hanging on Sofiane, making smooch sounds with his lips, while Imane tried to pull him away. His friend seemed to feel really uncomfortable in the situation, especially when he saw that Eliott came back. His apologetic expression reassured the tall boy that all of this was because his stupid boyfriend was completely wasted. He walked to them, gently grabbing Lucas’ shoulder. The boy looked at him, his blue eyes cloudy, his pink lips slightly parted. 

“Maybe this was enough for tonight.” Eliott said calmly, trying to keep his jealous self back for now. Lucas eyes opened widely as he noticed who he was facing with and he shamelessly pressed his full body on Eliott’s.

“Eliott!” he screamed happily, wrapping his arms around his neck. “Where were you?!” he asked, pouting like an adorable puppy. Eliott couldn’t help, but smile softly, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist.

“I’m here now. Let’s go home.” he said softly, kissing the boy’s forehead gently. Lucas chuckled and buried his face into his neck.

“Okay, take me home, please.”

  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think drunk Lucas is a good way to end this fanfiction. I kinda enjoy making some insta posts and put them into the fanfiction, not to steal ideas from our beloved choupi of course, but it’s easier to use them to end a chapter or just to put it in for fun. I hope you guys liked this fluffly, sexy chapter, enjoy it while you can, cause angst is in the air. *wink wink*


	11. It's not your fault, it's mine

##  **It’s not your fault, it’s mine**

 

Lucas started to get sick of all the teasing he got after that terrible party. Yes, he got totally wasted and yes, he totally embarrassed himself, but at least he remembered basically nothing of it. He didn’t needed others to tell him or remind him of what stupid stuff he had done that night. Thank god Eliott was avoiding the topic most of the time. First Lucas got worried that he crossed a boundary he shouldn’t have that night, but his boyfriend seemed to act normal with him. He was soft, touchy and flirty. 

They were a couple for almost two weeks now, things seemed to go really well for them. Sometimes they were together for a whole day, kissing and cuddling in bed, sometimes they were out in the park with the boys. It was wonderful, something Lucas had never experienced before. Sadly during the first week of spring break, Lucille decided to come back, she wanted to spend more time with her brother, which was understandable since Eliott had a bad depression not long ago. Still now they had no place to go for privacy, since Lucas only had a pull-out couch in the flatshare and Lucille stayed at Eliott’s place of course. 

It was a nice and sunny tuesday afternoon in the park. Lucille just arrived this morning, so the boys haven’t seen each other all day, they had to catch up on the missed out time. They weren’t alone though, both the boys and girls were there, chilling on blankets, listening to music and eating the sandwiches Manon made for everyone. Lucas and Eliott was a bit further, leaning to a tree, the short boy sitting between his boyfriend’s legs, back resting on his warm chest. His fingers were tracing on the veins that were showing through Eliott’s arms that were wrapped around him. It was a nice and pure moment. 

  


 

Lucas rolled his eyes when he saw what Yann posted. He was so busy studying his boyfriend’s beautiful hands, that he didn’t notice him taking a picture of them. Eliott on the other hand was really happy and already asked Yann to send him the picture in private.

“What do you want with it?” Lucas asked, slightly looking up at the tall boy, still laying in his arms.

“I wanna save these pictures for the future, maybe even print them at some point.” he answered with a happy smile. “Imagine a whole wall full of photos of us.” 

“A whole fucking wall?” Lucas raised his eyebrows. 

“Of course.” Eliott smirked and kissed his forehead. “Wouldn’t you like that?”

“A few framed pictures on the piano and the wall is more than enough for me.” he chuckled and pressed his lips on Eliott’s hand softly. “I like your drawings on the wall more.” 

“You are way too perfect for me.” Eliott mumbled, burying his face into Lucas’ fluffy hair, sniffing it a little. “You really like my drawings?” 

“If I had a room, I’d put your drawings all over the walls.” he said honestly, rubbing Eliott’s hand with his thumb. “They are amazing.”

“You are amazing.” he chuckled, squeezing him softly. “You wanna do something this weekend?” he asked after a few moments of silence.

“Of course, but no parties.” he frowned which made his boyfriend giggle. 

“We can both agree on that we won’t go to parties in the near future.” he said softly, kissing his boyfriend’s cheek. “I was thinking of something chill.”

“Like what? We can’t hang out at your place and everyone will be home at the flatshare too.” he said a bit worried. It was so annoying that they had no privacy during the spring break. 

“I’ll figure it out.” he promised and gave a soft kiss on the boy’s hair. “I wanna spoil your sweet butt.” he added that made Lucas laugh.

“I accept that, anytime.” 

 

Lucas first met Lucille at a coffee shop, on Thursday noon. He was really nervous since Eliott told him through text that his sister wanted to meet him. He barely could sleep and spent the whole morning going through his clothes and trying to decide which would fit best to meet your boyfriend’s sister. He basically drove Mika crazy yet once again, until Manon, god bless her soul, interrupted them and told Lucas to wear his grey long sleeve shirt with black jeans and his navy blue hoodie. The boy kissed her on the cheek before he put on those clothings and left. 

Eliott gave him a place and time to meet, but he haven’t texted since then. He actually really missed his boyfriend, even if they spent most days together, it was a real torture to be apart. But he was also really nervous, trying not to bite his nails off while waiting in front of the coffee shop. It was a nice and cozy place, he had been here only once, when he had a morning date with Eliott before classes last week. 

He had been there for only like ten minutes or so, when he saw them crossing the street. Even if he stopped walking around, his feet kept bumping on the ground and his hands were shaking, so he hid it behind his back. Both of them were tall, their hair had the same color and their face was wildly similar to one another. The most obvious difference was that the girl walked like a model, head held up, back straight, flawless moves with confidence, while Eliott had his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants, back hunched slightly, movements a little clumsy. Lucas still felt like his boyfriend was the most perfect and gorgeous human being on the earth. 

 “Hey, you look great.” Eliott said with a happy smile when they were close enough to Lucas, kissing him on the cheek, not on the lips. Noted. 

Hey, thanks.” he said softly and looked at Lucille now. She had a smile plastered to her face, but her eyes were screaming murder. The boy swallowed and held his hand out, hoping that it won’t be sweaty. “Hey, I’m Lucas, nice to meet you.”

“Lucille Demaury.” she said on a calm tone and grabbed his hand, shaking it just for a few seconds and pulling back. Eliott seemed to be happy.

“Okay, let’s go inside.” he said, grabbing both of their hands and walking into the coffee shop. They sat down into a nice booth, the siblings on one side and Lucas on the other side. He was really nervous that he couldn’t hold Eliott’s hand under the table at least, but this was an important part for their relationship to keep going. 

Eliott decided to get themselves coffee and some bakery, so he got up and walked away, leaving his boyfriend alone with his very angry looking sister. They were sitting in awkward silence for probably a whole minute, before Lucille decided to speak finally. 

“Listen, I don’t know how much Eliott told you about himself, but I won’t let anyone ever hurt him again.” she said seriously and Lucas had to swallow his nervousness to defend himself and his feelings for Eliott.

“He told me a lot of things, because he trusts me.” the boy started to speak with shocking confidence. “I know about his illness, I know about Sophie... He trusts me because he knows I trust him too.” he said seriously, looking into the girls eyes. Lucille accepted his challenge, staring right into his soul.

“Don’t be so cocky just because he shared some stories with you.” she said bitterly. “He is much more complex than that.”

“And I don’t care.” Lucas said a bit louder than he should be, so he took a deep breath. Lucille closed her mouth, deciding not to say anything to this and crossed her arms in anticipation. “Eliott is the person I care for the most, i told him things I never told anyone, I have feelings for him that I never ever experienced in my life and not you or anyone else can take this away from me now. If I have to fight for him, then so be it.” he said, determined look on his face. He could saw the ghost of a smile on the girl’s face before Eliott came back with two espressos and one latte for Lucas, also carrying croissants and some cinnamon rolls. 

“Sorry it took so long, but there was a few people in front of me.” he said and hopped down next to his sister with a bright smile on his face.

“Don’t worry, we had a nice conversation here with Lucas.” Lucille said, surprising the boy with an actual smile. “Right?”

“Y-yeah.” Lucas nodded quickly, adding sugar to his latte and sipping it slowly. 

“What were you talking about?” Eliott asked excitedly, he was happy that his sister was acting normal.

“Nothing special just yet. I was about to ask Lucas if he has any hobbies.” Lucille said on a soft tone and the short boy couldn’t decide it if it was real or fake. 

“Not much, actually.” Lucas shrugged. “I play piano, but other than that I have no special talents, like Eliott.” he said, flashing a soft smile at his boyfriend.

“Piano? Really?” Lucille raised her perfectly curving eyebrows.

“He is really good.” Eliott said proudly. “He even played some on the piano in my apartment.” 

“I needed to fix it a little, but otherwise he’s got a very nice instrument.” Lucas said honestly. “It’s a pleasure to play for him.”

“And he is an S student.” Eliott added with a wide smile, which made Lucas just a little bit embarrassed.

“It’s not a big deal, I’m better with numbers than with words.” the boy shrugged, trying to look cool about it, but he was watching Lucille to see her reaction.

“It’s interesting how you guys have nothing in common. I mean Eliott is an artist, has a really bad taste in music...”

“Okay, cut it off, Lucille.” Eliott said suddenly with clear irritation in his voice, turning his head at his sister. “What are you trying to say with all this?” he asked seriously. Lucille crossed her arms yet again and looked at him too, eyes narrowed. Lucas was fidgeting a little, hoping that they are not gonna fight because of him. 

“I’m saying that I don’t think this can work well.” she said it out now, being completely honest. “I won’t let you get your heart broken again.” 

“Oh, shut up! I was 15, when Sophie left me! I learned from it, and what I have with Lucas is nothing like that. This is so much more and I know he feels the same way.” he said seriously and the boy was really concerned now that they talked about him like he wasn’t even there. 

“I’m not saying this isn’t real, but you are volunerable...”

“Don’t talk like that about him.” Lucas started suddenly, surprising the siblings and also getting both of their attention. “Eliott is not more volunerable than anyone else. Yes, he is probably more sensitive, but he is just a human being like you or me.” he said seriously, looking into the girl’s eyes. “I am with him, because I know who he is and he also knows who I am. We doesn’t need anything else.”

Both of them were speechless after this, so Lucas tried to read the expressions on their faces. Eliott was just proud and happy, he had that beautiful smile and sparkles in his eyes. On the contrary, Lucille seemed impressed, a soft smile appearing on her face. She took a deep breath, drinking her coffee slowly before talking again.

“Okay, I kinda like him.” she said, glancing at Lucas over the edge of her coffee cup. The boy felt his cheeks turning red and he looked at his hands on his lap, fidgeting a little.

“Thanks.” he mumbled.

The rest of the day went on pretty well. Drinking coffee, eating baked goods, talking about casual stuff. Lucas told her about his parents spliting up, just slightly mentioning his mother’s problems, not really wanting to get into the topic too deep. Lucille asked about school, told some childhood stories about Eliott just to embarrass her brother. They laughed and had fun. 

When it got late, Eliott and Lucas said goodbye to each other. Some soft kisses, whispered words, then the older boy left with his sister, while Lucas also headed home, feeling much better now. As much as he was afraid of meeting Lucille, things went on quite well. They even exchanged numbers, while Eliott went to the bathroom, so they can get in touch if anything happens. Always prepared for the worst. 

 

After that both of the boys were busy, Eliott spending time with his sister and Lucas finally visiting his mother again. Sadly she wasn’t in the right condition just yet, so he decided to leave the boyfriend talk for another time. But he still enjoyed talking to her, even if she was mumbling bible verses randomly in the middle of the conversation. They had dinner together and walked in the park too, watching people passing by. 

When the evening came, Lucas was extremely tired, just wanting to eat and sleep. He made himself a cheese toast, since he barely had anything in the fridge or the cabinet and it looked like Manon hadn’t cooked. He sat down on the couch, watching some boring tv show, while munching on his sandwich. He got a little startled when he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. It took him a few seconds to get it out without getting it dirty and he checked his messages. His heart started to flip-flop in his chest when he saw that Eliott texted him.

 **srodulv**  
I have a surprise for you on saturday

 **lucallemant**  
What kind of surprise? 

 **srodulv**  
You’ll see  
It’s gonna be romantic

 **lucallemant**  
I can’t wait  
I miss you so much

 **srodulv**  
I miss you too

 **lucallemant**  
Saturday when?

 **srodulv**  
17h30, I’ll go and pick you up at the flat  
Be your pretty self like always, no need for fancy clothing, okay? 

 **lucallemant**  
Okay, I am really excited now  
Tell me where are we going!

 **srodulv**  
That would ruin the surprise  
Be patient

 **lucallemant**  
Fiiiine

 **srodulv**  
;)

 

On saturday Eliott arrived in time, welcoming his boyfriend with a long, passionate kiss. They were doing that for a few minutes, but then they had to break apart. The tall one walked to the road with Lucas, getting into a taxi with him. The short boy was concerned now, since they usually took bus or metro if they had to go somewhere. When he asked Eliott about it, he said that tonight is special, so he let it slide. He seemed to be more happy and touchy than usual, keeping his hands on his boyfriends thigh as they were in the taxi. They shared a few kisses, not being too affectionate in case the driver isn’t a tolerant person, but he said nothing. When they stopped at a fancy hotel, the boys got out and Eliott paid for the ride.

Lucas was too busy looking at the gigantic building in front of him. It looked wonderful, the entrance was huge, people walking in and out like ants. His boyfriend hugged him from behind, kissing his cheek softly. 

“Do you like it?” he asked.

“This was your surprise?” he looked at him still in awe. 

“Yes, we needed a place to be alone and this is perfect.” he said softly and kissed his boyfriend’s neck softly. “We can do so many things tonight...” he whispered into his ear which made the short boy shiver.

“Eliott...”

His mouth were quickly covered with the tall boy’s lips, pulling him into a long, passionate kiss right there in the middle of the street. Lucas wrapped his arms around Eliott’s neck, melting into his hold happily, enjoying the kiss, until his boyfriend pulled back and walked into the hotel with him. They were both giggling and smiling on the way up to their room. When they had the chance to be alone in the elevator, it was impossible for them to not makeout. 

The room was huge, with a big bed in it. Lucas could see the Eiffel Tower from the balcony, which was just breathtaking. He hugged Eliott happily, kissing him wildly. It was so incredible that he was standing in a fancy hotel, in a probably really expensive suite with a person he loved more than anything. He wanted to say it so badly.  ** _I love you_**. It’s a simple thing, but he felt like it’s not the time for it just yet. 

They sat down to a nice table that had candles and a boquet of flowers on it. Eliott opened a bottle of champagne, pouring some into glasses, giving one to his sweet boy. Lucas smiled happily, he never experienced such a romantic moment before in his life, so he wanted to save this moment in his memory forever. There were some cheese, ham, crisps, olives and tomato slices on plates in front of them.

“This is the best thing anyone has ever done for me.” Lucas said softly, grabbing his boyfriend’s hand that was resting on the table, intertwining their fingers. Eliott smiled at him softly.

“All I wanted is to make you happy and feel special. Because you are.” he said honestly, bringing their hands up to his face, kissing Lucas’ fingers. The boy blushed a little.

“I feel special for sure.” he mumbled and took a sip of his drink. “This is a really good champage.”

“Right? I chose it myself.” the tall boy said proudly, drinking some from his own glass. 

“Perfect choice indeed.” he chuckled and now grabbed a piece of camembert, placing in his mouth and enjoying the taste of the creamy cheese. He didn’t even notice that he was making inappropriate sounds until he looked at Eliott, who seemed to be really turned on by it. His face suddenly felt really hot. 

“Does that camembert taste so good?” he asked, eyes looking darker, focusing on the short boy’s mouth now. Lucas couldn’t help, but swallow and run his tongue over his bottom lip.

“You wanna taste it?” he asked, grabbing another piece and he opened his mouth, slightly sticking his tongue out to place the cheese on it. 

Eliott took a deep breath, predator smile appearing on his face as he leant forward, taking Lucas’ tongue between his lips, sucking off the camembert and then leaning back, chewing on it. The boy was speechless, just staring at his stunning boyfriend with a lovestruck gaze. Then it was Eliott’s turn, he placed a piece of ham on his tongue, waiting for his boyfriend to take it. Lucas never thought that a small piece of meat can be so intimidating, but his mouth started to water up. He swallowed before getting up from his chair, leaning forward. He parted his lips, taking Eliott’s tongue between them, sucking off the ham slowly, while they stared at each other intensely. 

Lucas slowly, really slowly pulled back, settling on his chair, feeling just a little bit uncomfortable in his pants. He swallowed the ham, eyes still locked with Eliott’s, who decided to lick his lips and shine him the most seducing smile he had ever seen. He decided to drink from his champagne now, trying to hide his blush, but then his boyfriend pulled out a joint from the pocket of his shirt, lighting it. He smirked as he took a drag from it, blowing out a cloud of smoke

“Fuck...” that was all that left Lucas’ mouth, but it was enough to make the tall boy look satisfied, raising his eyebrows to challenge him while inhaling more smoke.

Lucas decided to end this game right now, so he got up from his chair, walking to Eliott’s side and gently pushing away the table so he could sit down on his lap. The tall boy smirked, still keeping in the smoke until Lucas leant closer, their mouth just an inch away, lips parting. Eliott placed his hand on the back of the boy’s neck and blew the smoke into his mouth. When he was done, he leant his forehead on Lucas’ and sighed. The short one slowly exhaled, letting their faces be covered by the smoke for a few seconds.

It didn’t take long for them to end up in bed, clothes lying on the floor everywhere. Their kisses were wild, their touches were demanding, their voices were full of passion and need. Hands running up and down on sweaty skin. Moanings filling up the silence of the room, alongside some naughty noises their bodies made as they got more and more intimate. Eliott was extra careful knowing that this was Lucas’ first time, he wanted it to be special and painless. He did everything to make his boy relaxed, preparing him until he was basically begging for him to put it in. 

When they connected both physically and emotionally, Lucas felt like he’s seeing the stars. Waves of emotions were running through his body, making him shiver. This was the most intimate and sensual moment he ever experienced in his life. He only felt pain for a short amount of time, but then all was gone and the only thing he felt was pure pleasure. Their kisses were sloppy, sometimes teeth bumping into teeth, nails scratching soft skin. 

 

Lucas was laying in bed, the blanket only covering the lower half of his body, smiling like an idiot. Eliott was sitting not far from him, the other end of their blanket wrapped around his waist as he was drinking champagne staight from the bottle. He seems really happy, smile basically glued to his face.

“I really love this place.” he mumbled, looking at his boyfriend fondly. “I wish we could afford this more often.” 

“We can, we just gotta rob a bank.” Eliott said, smirking wildly. “Actually I can make the plan for that. You can be the distraction while I sneak in and get all the money we need.” he continued, which made Lucas a bit confused. 

“What are you talking about?” he tilted his head. 

“We could wear masks, I can be a raccoon and you could be a cute hedgehog.” he continued, ignoring the boy’s question. “Wouldn’t that be great?” he asked smirking. “Then we would be running away with the money and get married somewhere far from here.” he giggled and took a gulp from the champagne.

“We’re getting married?” he asked now, trying not to focus on the weird stuff.

“Of course.” Eliott answered quickly now. “I’m sure there are many Lucas and Eliott that are already married in parallel universes.” he smirked and laid down next to Lucas, rubbing his nose on his cheek. “Right?”

“Yeah, I’m sure there are a lot.” he said smiling now.

“Fuck...” Eliott mumbled, taking a bigger sip from the bottle, it was almost empty. “We should die tonight then.” he mumbled, looking at the ceiling for a moment and then back at Lucas with a smile. “While we’re at our peak.” he added. Now Lucas felt a little uneasy, pulling back to look down at the boy laying next to him.

“Why are you saying that?” he asked worried, but Eliott flashed him a soft smile, putting the bottle down, wrapping his arms around him and rubbing his nose into his neck.

“I’m kidding.” he said giggling. “I’m kidding.” he repeated when he saw that Lucas is still not smiling and planted a kiss on his neck.

 

It got late, the sun was setting outside when Lucas woke up. He was alone in the bed, so he turned around, still half asleep. He felt better when he saw that Eliott was sitting by the bed, staring at him. His sleepy mind couldn’t really focus on the weirdness of the situation, he just loved to be around this beautiful person, so he rubbed his eyes a little and smiled at him. 

“Don’t you wanna sleep?” he mumbled, Eliott let a weak smile appear on his face.

“I can’t sleep when there’s such a hot guy in the bed with me.” he said on a soft tone, which made Lucas smile. 

He was too tired to continue this, so he just closed his eyes and let the sleep take over him for now. Next time he woke up, he heard noises coming not far from him. He slowly opened his eyes to see Eliott roaming in the room naked, like a headless chicken. When he noticed that his boyfriend woke up, he ran to him, giving him a sloppy, wet kiss, then he headed to the door. 

“Where are you going?” Lucas asked, not entirely sure if this was reality or just a crazy dream. 

“I’ll go and get something to drink. I’m so thirsty.” he said, opening the door. “Go back to sleep.” he said softly and walked out, still naked.

The upcoming minute was like an eternity until Lucas’ brain realized what was happening. He jumped out of bed in a second and wrapped the blanket around himself, running to the door. He looked out to the hallway, calling for his boyfriend, but he was already gone. He tried not to panic, to remember the things he read on the internet. 

After he put on some clothes, he grabbed Eliott’s and left the room, shoving the key into the backpocket of his jeans. He left the building and looked around for the boy, while he also called the police. It was almost midnight, not too cold, but it wasn’t a good time to run around on the streets, and his fear of Eliott getting hurt just grew bigger. When he explained the situation to the tired officer on the other side of the line, he was hesitating. Tears were running down his cheeks, panic starting to take over his brain. He needed someone to help him handle this situation, so he decided to call Lucille.

“What happened?” was the first thing she asked when she picket up the phone, her voice still sounding sleepy.

“We were in a hotel... he is naked... He ran away, he said he wanted to get something to drink.” he sobbed, holding Eliott’s clothes tightly in his arms. “I already called the police... but I don’t know where he went.” he mumbled, trying to calm himself down, but his mind didn’t stop showing him horrible pictures of his boyfriend being beaten up because he’s naked or getting hit by a car. He shook his head and sighed.

“Okay, it was a good move calling the police.” she said, trying to sound calm, but she was just as upset as the boy. “Send me the address of the hotel, I’ll be right there.” 

“I will.” he mumbled, still looking around on the streets, like he was hoping that Eliott will come back to him on his own. After he sent the message he slid his phone back to his jean pocket now, waiting for Lucille.

 

* * *

 

When he snapped back to reality, he knew something bad happened. He was sitting on a steel chair, wrapped in a blanket, but he wasn’t wearing anything under. His body felt cold, but sweaty at the same time, it was disgusting. Eliott wanted to just rip off his skin and threw it away. His last memory was Lucas, sleeping in bed next to him like an angel he is. He was playing with his hair... then full cut. His mind went blank and now he was here, what looked like a police station, sitting by a desk in a small office. No one else was with him, but he heard voices from the hallway through the door. He could see shadows out there through the blurry window. His stomach twisted and he had to slap his hand over his mouth to hold back a gag. His whole body was shivering, his feet hurt, but not more than his heart when he noticed a familiar voice. A third shadow appeared in front of the door, smaller than the other two with long, crazy hair. He felt like he can’t breathe, putting a hand over his chest, looking around when he noticed a paper bag that probably had some baked goods in it not long ago. He grabbed it, letting the blanket slip off of his shoulders in the process. He lifted to his mouth and started inhaling and exhaling into the bag, slowly normalizing his breathing. 

He startled when someone opened the door, peeking inside. He was scared just for a second, then he noticed it was Lucille. She looked exhausted, like she haven’t slept all night. Eliott wanted to know what was the time, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak. A soft smile appeared on the girl’s face when she noticed that her brother was conscious again. There was an angry voice talking to her from outside, so she lookd back and answered quietly, so Eliott can’t hear them. She then turned back, squinting her eyes a little. 

“You don’t have to speak now.” she started softly. “Lucas wants to see you, do you want him to come in?” she asked carefully, studying the expressions on the boy’s face. Eliott felt a strong shiver going through his body and he really wanted to get rid of his skin now. He pulled back the blanket over him and shook his head quickly. He can’t let him to see him in a ondition like this. It was already embarrassing and terrifying enough that all this happened in the presence of his boyfriend. Lucas must be scared and he can’t blame him. This is not what he deserves. He deserves a boyfriend who won’t snap in the middle of the night, leaving naked and then end up in a police station. 

He felt streaks of warm tears going down on his cheeks, his chest kept hurting, making it hard to breathe. Lucille already pulled her head back, closing the door behind her. The loud argument from outside were getting on his nerves, making him feel even more bad. Lucas’ voice sounded worried and scared from what he could here, cracking sometimes when he was sobbing. Eliott could feel his heart breaking into millions of pieces. He did this, Lucas, his soft and caring boy was crying and yelling because of him, because of what he was. He deserved better, someone who is not crazy, like Eliott. 

After long agonizing moments that seemed like hours Lucille entered the room with an officer. He looked nice, smiling softly at Eliott, handing some papers and clothes to his sister before leaving them alone. He looked up, seeing the redness now in Lucille’s eyes which just made his guilt dig deeper inside him, eating up everything. She had a small smile on her face, but it was just her lips, her eyes were filled with worries.

“How are you?” she asked softly, holding the paper and clothes to her chest. 

“I feel like shit.” Eliott responded, voice slightly hoarse. 

“You wanna get dressed?” she glanced at the stuff in her hands and then back at her brother. Eliott slowly nodded and took the clothes from her now. 

It was hard to get up, letting the blanket fall back on the little chair he was sitting on. Lucille turned around, not wanting to make him feel uncomfortable in the situation and he was really glad for the gesture. After long minutes of struggling, Eliott was standing there wearing black socks, dakr blue sweatpants, a grey shirt and a black hoodie. He had no idea where these came from, but almost everything was his size. When he got ready, he softly touched Lucille’s arm, not wanting to talk. She nodded, wrapping her arm around Eliott’s waist, walking out of the office with him.

* * *

 

 

Lucas was back at the apartment, walking up and down in the living room, grabbing his hair, pulling it just a little to keep himself awake. He was up since midnight and it was already nine in the morning. Mika and Manon were in the kitchen, drinking coffee and tea. They didn’t ask anything, seeing that the boy was too upset to talk to them and he was really glad for their understanding, because he was sure that all he could do at the moment is scream at the first person that talks to him. 

He already texted Sofiane, Idriss and Lucille multiple times, but got no response. On the station the girl told Lucas that Eliott didn’t wanted to see him, it broke his heart and he was arguing with her for almost ten minutes, but then he decided to leave. Since then he regretted his choice multiple times. He shouldn’t leave his boyfriend in times like this, he must feel that Lucas abandoned him. He was scared and worried about him, not knowing what to do with himself. 

He jumped when he heard the buzzing of his phone from the direction of the coffee table. He had put it there earlier to stop himself from texting to everyone that could give him information on Eliott. He grabbed it faster than lightning, unlocking it to see who texted him. His heart skipped a beat when he saw that it was in fact an SMS from Eliott himself.

**From Eliott**   
_I think we should stop seeing each other for a while. I am sorry that I scared you, but I need time to recover and being around you wouldn’t help with that. I hope you understand. It’s not your fault, it’s mine._

In that exact moment Lucas’ heart broke into pieces.


	12. I don't know what to do

##  **I don’t know what to do**

 

The couch started to become Lucas’ best friend through the agonizing days. He spent most of his time laying on it, wrapped in a blanket, crying his eyes out, his mind replaying the events of saturday over and over again. He could see Eliott’s face looking at him from the side of the bed, all serious, then his naked body disappearing behind the door. He pulled the blanket over his head and tried to calm himself down. His breathing were uneven, his chest was hurting like never before. All he wanted is to just scratch off his skin and get rid of the pain inside his body. It was so hard.

His hand reached for the phone on the coffee table, despite all the effort trying to hold himself back, he just couldn’t. He opened his messages, ignoring everything coming from his friends, since he had no energy to deal with them. It took him almost a minute to finally press on the name, opening his chat with Eliott. He felt tears blurring his vision, but he didn’t needed to see the letters, because he knew well what was there on the screen.

 **From Eliott**  
I think we should stop seeing each other for a while. I am sorry that I scared you, but I need time to recover and being around you wouldn’t help with that. I hope you understand. It’s not your fault, it’s mine. 

 **To Eliott**  
Can’t we just talk? I am fine we can get through this together  
Eliott, please don’t do this to me  
Say something  
Eliott, I’m begging you

 **From Eliott**    
Just leave me alone, I can’t do this

Lucas wanted to respond to that, but Eliott blocked his number. Then he blocked him on instagram too, cutting himself off completely. He felt like he was drowning, suffocating in his own tears. Dealing with such a heartbreak, being rejected by the person you love is the worst thing in this world. He didn’t understand this at all. They were so happy, things were perfect and even when all went downhill, Lucas couldn’t stop loving Eliott, he was worried, upset, but he wasn’t even thinking about leaving him. He just had a manic episode, he read a lot about it and was aware of what he has to face when being with Eliott, but it seems like the tall boy had different sight on things.

He closed the chat now, shoving his phone under his pillow and forcing himself to close his eyes. He wanted to sleep, but as soon as he was drifting off into the painless void, his mind started to show him memories. The most painful ones where he and Eliott were happy together, laughing, kissing, talking and just having fun in general. Hanging out with the boys, the girls, with everyone in the flat. The aching in his chest grew stronger, making him feel like something is pressing the oxygen out of his lungs. 

He got back to earth when Mika was shaking his body gently, calling his name multiple times. He was gasping, his vision was blurry, so he had to blink a few times while his breathing started to normalize. His lung was burning like hellfire and he hated that feeling, since his chest was already in pain. He looked at Mika and Manon, who were standing by the couch, looking at him worried. He probably had a panic attack, that’s why he felt like he was underwater with no oxygen. 

“I’m fine.” he mumbled, voice awfully hoarse and he could feel how chapped his lips were. He haven’t eaten anything or drink much since saturday, so he was kinda dehydrated. 

“Lucas, I get that you probably don’t wanna talk about it, but we are here for you.” Mika said softly, brushing a strand of hair out of the boy’s face. He could feel the tears building up again after that tender move. He didn’t want anyone to touch him, not like this. He pulled his head back, trying to melt into the back of the couch. 

 “Do you need a tea?” Manon asked softly now, grabbing Mika’s arm and pulling him away, seeing that the boy didn’t wanted any physical contact. Lucas pursed his lips and just shook his head. “Okay, we let you sleep now.” she said and shot a look at Mika.

“But Manon...”

“Come on, Mika.” She said seriously, pulling the man away now. He just let out a big sigh and followed the girl to the kitchen.

 

Lucas was really glad that it was spring break, because he was sure that going to school would not be an option to him. And somewhere in the back of his mind he was relieved that Eliott won’t be missing school yet again. He was already having troubles for staying home too much, so it wouldn’t be good for him to skip another week. Although he knew that Eliott’s parents informed the principal of his illness, it wasn’t an option to allow him to miss school too much. 

He wanted to smack his head into the wall for thinking about the tall boy again. Even with his best efforts, he just couldn’t not remember him and worry about him. It was hurting his feelings, yes, but Eliott was the person he loved, that was not something that goes away after a few days. He kept checking his phone from time to time, hoping that it was just a mistake, that Eliott is going to call him and ask him to come over. But it never happened. When he got a text from Lucille, though his heart skipped a beat. 

 **From Lucille**  
Let’s meet at the coffee shop tomorrow at 10

 **To Lucille**  
Is he okay? 

 **From Lucille**  
It’s not a topic for texts, see you tomorrow? 

 **To Lucille**  
I’ll be there 

 

Lucas barely slept, he looked like a walking zombie when he saw himself in the mirror. He decided to take a shower, trying to fix his hair and refresh his face, though the redness in his eyes didn’t disappear. He put on jeans and a long sleeve shirt, pulling his jacket on, grabbing his keys and left the flat. He was nervous, but not like last time. This time it was because he was truly afraid of what Lucille is going to say. They haven’t talked since sunday morning and it was wednesday now. He was suffering for three whole days on that fucking couch, drowning in his tears and sorrows. But now he had to get his shit together, acting like he was a well-functioning teenager. The aching in his chest started to become part of his daily life, it didn’t bother him anymore.

When he got to the coffee place, Lucille was already sitting at a table outside, stirring her coffee. There was a latte, ready for Lucas to drink and two croissants on a white plate. He tried to stop his hands from shaking as he sat down and looked at the girl. She seemed exhausted too, dark circles around her eyes, but she was still beautiful, unlike the boy. There was clear worry in her eyes when she loked up and down on him, realizing how fucked up he was. She sighed. 

“He is having a difficult time.” she started and looked at the busy street now. “I don’t know what he said to you, or what...”

“He said nothing.” Lucas cut her off, being the rude little hedgehog he was. “He told me to leave him alone and then blocked me.” he said seriously, fighting back those damn tears yet again. Lucille sighed and ran her fingers through her curly locks. It was painful to see how similar it was to how Eliott used to do it. 

“He is so dramatic.” she mumbled and looked at the street again, then back at Lucas. “I don’t know what he’s thinking, because he’s not talking to anyone, not me, not Sofiane or Idriss. I told our parents that he’s having an episode, but asked them not to come back to Paris. I don’t think it would be helpful if they would be in his neck 24/7.” she explained and continued to stir her coffee that didn’t even seemed to be hot. 

“I don’t know what to do.” Lucas said suddenly, surprising even himself, but the girl just looked at him with anticipation in her eyes. “I was scared that night, yes, but I had no intentions to leave him... I knew what I have to deal with when I became his boyfriend. But all this... that he’s cutting me off his life is just too painful... I want to just stop trying and let it go sometimes, because it’s just too much.” he muttered, not even trying to stop his tears now. Lucille reached her hand over the table and grabbed Lucas’ softly, rubbing it with her thumb. 

“I know that it’s hard... After we found out what is going on with him... What is this that he has to live with, it was really difficult. Not just for him, but for us, his family. We were talking with doctors, looked up things online to make sure we are not pushing him to the wrong direction. Mom and dad were fighting a lot in those times and I had to stay with Eliott, making sure that he is okay. He was blaming himself for the fights, but that wasn’t true. They weren’t angry because of the situation, they were frustrated because their son was suffering and they couldn’t do anything about it. We learned through the years and now we know when to give him space, when ask him questions, when can we take him seriously and when we have to let his words just slip away.” she said, voice calm and soft, just like the look on her face. Lucas haven’t stopped crying and she raised her free hand to wipe off tears from his face, caressing it slowly. “Do you love him?” 

“Yes.” he answered without hesitation, nodding his head.

“Then don’t give up on him, okay?” she said softly. “I know he is a problematic person, not because of his illness, but because of his personality. He can be a real pain in the ass, but I saw how he’s looking at you, how he’s talking about you.” she paused for a moment, pulling her hands back to take a sip from her coffee. “He had flings, boys and girls after Sophie, but never anything serious. Then you came into his life and I’ve never seen him being happier.” 

“And now he’s in pain...” he mumbled, looking down at his lap.

“There will be times when he will be in pain, Lucas. He will suffer and you can’t do anything to make it easier.” she said, her voice cracking a little at the end and as the boy snatched his head up, he could see her wiping off a single tear from her cheek. “You just have to be strong enough to get through these times with him. Because after that everything will be perfect and it’s gonna make things worth it.” she finished and continued drinking her coffee now. 

Lucas didn’t know what to say, but her words were digging their way inside his heart, making him feel better. Suddenly he felt like he can actually breathe again, the constant pain in his chest were easing up. He decided to just sip on his latte too, enjoying the calm silence with this wonderful woman. If he ever had the chance to have a sister, he wanted her to be like Lucille. Then he remembered that he does have a sister, not by blood, but he still had her. Manon was always there for him when he needed someone, she was more understanding than anyone and seemed like she could read Lucas’ very soul. He just wanted to go home now and hug her, thank her for everything she had done, for putting up with all his bullshit and carrying through his worst days.

When they both finished their drinks and ate the croissants, not really talking to each other, they got ready to leave. Lucas wasn’t expecting from Lucille to pull him into a soft, careful hug, but he enjoyed nonetheless. After that they both went on their own ways, Lucas taking a little detour, buying some groceries and everyone’s favorite sweets too. When he got home he found Mika and Manon on the couch, talking about something, but they went silent when they saw Lucas entering, so he knew they were talking about him. 

“Hey guys!” he said softly, still holding the bag in his hand. Mika and Manon looked at him seemly in shock.

“Hey!” the girl said after thirty seconds of awkward silence. 

“I got some groceries.” he said and raised the bag. “Also got some sweets for you guys.” a soft smile appeared on his face, weak, but at least honest. 

“Oh that sounds awesome.” Mika jumped up from the couch, running to Lucas and wrapping him up in a bone-crashing hug. “I missed you, Kitten!” he mumbled. Lucas laughed and wrapped his free arm around Mika softly, it felt good to be hugged by him.

“I was away for just a few hours.” he said softly and glanced at Manon, who walked towards them with a soft smile on her face. 

“You know how he meant it.” she said and rubbed the short boy’s arm. “It’s good to have you back.” 

“It’s good to be back.” he whispered into the older guy’s shoulder now, dropping the bag and wrapping both of his arms around him. Manon decided to join in and hugged both of them from the side, burying her face into Lucas’ neck. 

  


 

 

Lucas spent the rest of his day answering to his friend’s messages. All of them were concerned after he wasn’t responding for days. They had no idea what happened with Eliott and it was good like that. He only told Mika and Manon, because he trusted them, plus he made them promise not to talk about it to anyone else. He explained what happened exactly, how things went downhill, how scared he was when Eliott just ran off naked, how he felt when the police called him. What happened at the station, his fight with Lucille, Eliott’s texts, him blocking Lucas everywhere. He felt relieved after finishing the story. He got some hugs from his flatmates and they decided to watch a movie together. Lucas agreed, but he was mostly on his phone, reassuring the boys and the girls that he was fine. Then he saw the messages from Sofiane and he opened it with shaky hands. 

 **sofalaoui**  
Lucille called me and told me what happened  
Is everything okay with you?   
You must be in shock, but Eliott needs you   
Answer, please

The first two messages were from sunday, the third from monday and then the last from tuesday. Lucas sighed and leant back on the couch, staring at his phone for a couple minutes, thinking about what he should say to Sofiane. He was Eliott’s friend, but he probably had no idea what he did after his episode. How he pushed Lucas away. The boy wasn’t blaming Eliott or anyone in fact, but he had the right to feel heartbroken. He took a deep breath and started typing.

 **lucallemant**  
Hi, I’m sure you have no idea, but I think Eliott broke up with me 

The reply came within a minute and Lucas couldn’t stop himself from smiling. Sofiane was just like Eliott, texting back immediately.

 **sofalaoui**  
What do you mean? Why would he do that? 

 **lucallemant**  
I am not sure, he blocked my number and blocked me on instagram 

 **sofalaoui**  
Woah, that’s extreme  
Did you talk to him? 

 **lucallemant**  
I tried to, before he blocked me   
I met Lucille today and she said that he’s not well 

 **sofalaoui**  
I’m sorry, Lucas  
I wish I could help, but you know him... 

 **lucallemant**  
He is fucking stubborn...

 **sofalaoui**  
Exactly  
You wanna meet up tomorrow maybe? 

 **lucallemant**  
No, I’m meeting the boys tomorrow  
And I’m not sure if we should meet 

 **sofalaoui**  
Why? Did I do something wrong? 

Lucas could feel the concern in those words and see the worrying frown on Sofiane’s face. He sighed and pulled up his legs, hugging them while texting back to him. Mika, Lisa and Manon were too busy watching some shitty romantic movie.

 **lucallemant**  
No, of course not  
But you are Eliott’s best friend and he might not be happy if he would know that you were hanging out with his ex

 **sofalaoui**  
You are not his ex

 **lucallemant**  
Apparently, I am 

 **sofalaoui**  
You’re just giving up on him like this? 

 **lucallemant**  
I am not gonna give up  
I love him 

 **sofalaoui**  
Does he know that? 

 **lucallemant**  
Not yet 

He sighed and put down his phone for now. He kept saying to people that he loves Eliott and it was burning his chest how he couldn’t tell him too. It wasn’t hard, not after all this. Realizing how terrified he was when Eliott disappeared in the night, not knowing what can happen to him, not knowing if he’s safe or if he gets hurt before the police finds him. These all combined made him sure that his feelings were strong, stronger than he ever expected them to be. It was something he never felt before, something he only read about in those shitty books that was required for literature classes. He had to smile when he remembered how much Eliott loved those sappy books. 

 

The next day he met up with the gang in the park. He was nervous and not sure what to tell them. He didn’t wanted to make Eliott be a bad guy, because he wasn’t, but he also wasn’t sure if he could speak about his bipolarity without him agreeing to it. That was something Lucas couldn’t just decide by himself. Suddenly he just wanted to run back home and not meeting the boys, maybe meeting up with Sofiane instead, since he could talk to him honestly, maybe even asking his opinion on things, but he got off the bus now and he could see them from far away. He took a deep breath and started walking. 

The boys were sitting on a bench, facing the small lake and were talking about some nonsense, laughing too much. Lucas slowly appreached them and just watched for a little, listening to all the stupid shit Basile was saying, smiling fondly when Arthur shut him off. He walked around the bench, smiling softly.

“Hey.” he greeted them. The boys jumped up, all of them at the same time and wil a loud “Lulu” they pulled him in a tight group hug. Lucas laughed and tried to wrap his arms around all three of them, he was a bit overwhelmed, but also really happy.

“We missed you, Lulu.” Arthur said and he rubbed the boy’s back softly.

“We really did.” Baz continued.

“And we were worried too.” Yann added, ruffling Lucas’ already messy hair with a gentle smile on his face. 

“I’m sorry, boys. Things just happened and I needed some time alone.” he explained and sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose with two fingers. 

“What things?” Arthur raised his eyebrows and they pulled back now, sitting on the bench again, while Lucas was standing in front of them. 

“There was... Things are difficult between me and Eliott right now. Something happened that was out of our control, so we’re... sort of taking a break.” he explained slowly, trying to keep his emotions inside. He was crying enough lately, it was time to be strong and fight for the person he loved. 

“Wait, did you guys break up?” Basile asked confused.

“Yeah.” Lucas answered shortly and sighed. “Things are hard for us now and I think he needs some time... he is... He’s depressed.” he said finally and looked at the trees nearby instead of looking at his friends.

“Wait a second... is Eliott bipolar?” Basile asked suddenly, shocking everyone with it. Lucas eyes opened widely, staring at his idiot friend in disbelief. 

“How do you...?” 

“My mom is also bipolar.” he said simply, shrugging and looking around to see that all the boys were looking at him surprised. “You guys never asked, so I didn’t tell.” he defended himself. “What happened with Eliott?” 

“He... he had a manic episode.” Lucas said now honestly, letting out a deep sigh. “He ran off naked in the middle of the night.” 

“He was naked?” Arthur asked shocked, while Basile started laughing.

“That’s so funny.” he said between two laughs, earning a deadly look from Lucas. “Okay, sorry.” he coughed. “So he’s depressed now... because you guys had a fight?”

“No.” Lucas shook his head. “After the police found him, his sister talked to the officers, while I brought our stuff from the hotel room...”

“Wait, hold on.” Yann said suddenly. “Hotel room?” 

“Yeah.” Lucas mumbled and felt his ears burning now. “We went to a hotel on saturday... it was his surprise for me.” he explained.

“Fuck, you really have the best boyfriend, huh?” Arthur said with a jealous look on his face. Lucas wanted to remind him that they weren’t a couple anymore, but he felt like if he says it too many times, it’s going to be real. That was something he wanted to avoid at all costs. 

“So what happened after?” Yann asked now, paying full attention to his best friend now. 

“He didn’t wanted to see me, so I went home... I was really worried, Lucille, his sister didn’t contact me at all, but then I got a message from Eliott. He said that he needs space, he wanna get well, but I would just hold him back... and then he blocked me.” he finished, sniffing a little to help holding back the tears.  ** _I can’t cry again. I can’t cry again._**

“Man, that’s tough shit.” Arthur sighed.

“But you aren’t going to give up on him, right?” Basile asked curiously. “I mean... My mom did stuff like this, yelling at me and throwing stuff when she was mad or depressed. It sure can get nasty, but We’ve all seen how Eliott looks at you.” 

“I’m not planning to.” Lucas said with a soft smile and he felt a sudden urge to just hug the shit out of Basile. He knew that with all the stupid stuff he was saying and doing, deep down he was a kindhearted boy, but right now he grew big in the short boy’s eyes. “I wanna talk to him once he’s feeling better.” he said honestly and seeing the proud look on his friends’ face made him feel happy.

“That’s the spirit, Lulu.” Yann said, smirking and got up from the bench. “Now let’s go and have some fun! We can borrow my sister’s electric scooter.” he offered, which made everyone excited now. 

“Let’s go then.” Lucas said laughing and he left the park with the boys, heading to Yann’s place. 

  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one might not have been as long as the previous ones, but I wanted to end it here, with that hilarious insta picture, because we all love le Gang! The next one might be from Eliott’s POV, so prepare for more angst before they actually get back together. I also feel like getting to the end of this story, so If you guys have suggestions for other AUs, feel free to tell me. I have some plans, but nothing is clear yet. Bisous


	13. Long time no see

##  **Long time no see**

 

Eliott heard the front door open, but he wasn’t going to pay any sort of attention to it. It was probably Lucille coming home from grocery shopping, She will probably yell at him again for smoking, but it’s the only thing that helps him through this shit. He blew out a large cloud of smoke, tearing his eyes from the drawings on the coffee table. Countless scetches of sad and scared hedgehogs. He wanted to rip out his own heart and throw it into the trash, so it wouldn’t be so damn difficult. Tears started to roll down on his cheeks and he kicked into the table, making some of the papers fall on the floor. 

“Looks like someone’s grumpy.” he heard a voice from the entrance of the living room. He lazily turned his head, just to face with Sofiane. He could feel another knife stabbing right into his heart, spreading guilt all around his body. He haven’t talked to his best friend since days, he couldn’t even tell what day it was today. 

“Hey.” that was all he could say, closing his eyes and leaning back on the couch, taking another drag from his joint. 

“Long time no see, huh?” the boy walked in and coughed a little, inhaling some of the smoke that was floating around. “Jesus, how can you stay alive in here?”

“What do you want, Sofiane?” he asked now a bit more irritated than he actually planned, but he needed no babysitter to look out for him. 

“I came to talk.” he explained and tried to took a deep breath which ended up in coughing again. He went to the window, opening it just enough to let the smoke leave the room. Eliott made an unpleasant noise, but didn’t get up to close the door. He was too tired and high to move from the couch. He liked to imagine that Lucas was there next to him, saying stupid stuff and complaining about the music he was playing. There was no music of course, but Eliott had a wild imagination, especially when it came to his beloved boy. 

“So you’re not gonna talk to me now?” Sofiane asked and flopped down to the armchair across from Eliott. He looked at the ceiling and putting the blunt in the ashtray. 

“Talk about what?” he asked, voice hoarse from all the smoking, eyes just slightly burning. “About how I fucked up? About how I scared the only person I love the most?” he was almost yelling now, feeling the tears building up, but he couldn’t let them overflow. Sofiane’s face turned into a painful grimace, seeing his friend like this made him worried and sad.

“You didn’t fuck it up, Eliott.” he sighed after a few minutes of silence, looking at the drawings on the table. “You have to talk to him.” he said seriously.

“No, I can’t.” he shook his head and pulled up his legs, wrapping his arms around his knees. “What I have to do is staying away from him.” 

“Are you serious right now?” he raised his eyebrows, looking concerned. 

Eliott rolled his eyes at his reaction. He can’t understand, he doesn’t know how it feels when you have no control over your actions, when things happen and you snap out, hurting the people you love in the process. He can’t let Lucas deal with all of that. He already had a mentally ill mother, he shouldn’t be dealing with another one. They are both young, their life just started, Lucas will be able to move on, maybe even fall in love with a guy that deserves him, a guy he deserves. Someone he could count on, he could rely on. Someone he doesn’t have to worry about every single day. Someone who is not gonna leave the hotel room in the middle of the night, completely naked. 

“I talked to him, you know.” Sofiane said after realizing that his friend won’t be answering his question. This catched the boy’s attention and snapped his head up from the drawings, looking straight at Sofiane. His eyes were red, traced of dried tears showing on his face, his pupils were so wide the blue was barely visible around it.

“To Lucas?” he asked, barely noticing his own voice, it was distant and different.

“Yeah, to Lucas.” Sofiane sighed, rubbing his temple with two fingers now. His friend gave him a headache sometimes, but he knew that it wasn’t completely his fault, so he just let it slide. “He is not well...”

“You say that, but I saw the stuff on instagram.” Eliott cut him off quickly, grabbing his joint again, lighting with a match, because he couldn’t find his lighter. “He will be fine. He is already fine without me.” he explained, exhaling in the smoke, letting it fill his lungs and burning his throat. He closed his eyes as he let it out, enjoying the little numbness tht already started to take over his body.

“Come on, Eliott! You are going to judge someone’s mood by their insta updates?” he asked, leaning forward and placing his forearms on his knees. “I spoke to him, okay? And he is not okay. It was a dick move to block him everywhere.” 

“ **You**  don’t get to tell me what is a dick move, okay?” he raised his voice now, his fingers closing around the still lit up joint, not caring that it was burning his palm. “I am not gonna risk everything! I’m not falling into the rabbit hole!” he continued and slammed his fist on the table. Sofiane looked at him, not even startling to his sudden violence.

“Yeah? I think you’re pretty late with that falling, Eliott.” Sofiane said on a serious tone. “I know you since a long time now, I’ve seen how you and Sophie got together, how you were acting around her...” he started and waved his hands to hush the other one when he tried to say something. “I saw you falling apart after what she did. Then you got back up, it took you a long time, but then I noticed the sparks in your eyes. It was similar to how you looked when you dated Sophie, but not the same. You were truly happy. And the way you talked to us about Lucas... That was something new.” he said, a soft smile appearing on his face. “I was glad, because you two seemed to be a perfect match and I still haven’t changed my mind about that. You are stubborn, not able to let go the past and move on completely. Not able to accept that there are people out there who are not going to leave you just because you’re bipolar.” 

Silence fell on them as Sofiane finished his monologue. Eliott closed his eyes and dropped the ruined joint into the ashtray, now slightly feeling the pain where it burned his palm. He wanted to believe his friend so badly, but his brain kept screaming at him, that he have to stay away from Lucas, that he will just ruin his life. Everything he felt for him couldn’t protect the boy from what he is, a mess, a burden to everyone. He could see on their faces. His parents, Lucille, Sofiane. All of them were tired, worried, scared. Even after weeks passed since his last episode, they were still watching over him, like he would cut his veins open anytime. He can’t let Lucas turn into someone like that. Not when he had other options in his life. 

Eliott was both happy and devastated when he saw the post Lucas made. He obviously blocked the boy on insta, but he wasn’t logged in on his laptop, which meant that he could check his profile without any problems. And he did that since he got out of his bed somewhere around tuesday evening. Since then he didn’t go back to his room, no matter how many times Lucille begged him to. He was staying on the couch, curled up, smoking and crying. Sometimes he grabbed a paper, pencils and drew another hedgehog, throwing on the table alongside the others. But he always checked Lucas’ instagram, until he saw his new picture with Yann. He felt both relief and a knife going deep into his heart, twisting a couple times to hurt even more. He smacked his laptop shut and tossed it to one of the armchairs, not touching it since. 

He looked at his friend, who was just sitting there in silence, hands resting on his lap and his eyes gazing at the window. It was both endearing and annoying how Sofiane just didn’t leave right after that damned speech. He wanted to kick him out, but deep inside he liked to have someone around. Someone that wasn’t his overprotective sister. 

His best friend’s presence was always filling his mind with calmness and he felt safe with him. Sofiane always made sure that Eliott has anything he needs to be better. When they were younger and they were fighting over something, it was always him taking the first move to make peace. And it was always Eliott who felt the worst, because how could he be mad at such a sunshine like Sofiane. Maybe that’s why he was so jealous when Lucas was alone with him in the Youth Center. He was afraid that the boy would see that there are much more better guys are out there, guys way better than Eliott. But Lucas chose him, multiple times and he really wanted to believe that things will be working, he was in love so much, he didn’t realize that he was slipping. Then shit happened and he ruined everything. 

He groaned and grabbed his hair, pulling it as hard as he could, screaming his lungs out as he slipped from the couch down to the floor. Tears rolling down his cheeks uncontrollably. He closes his eyes, not wanting to deal with anything, fingers still holding onto his locks. His lungs are burning, but he can’t stop screaming. Not even when a warm body gets down to him, scooping him up into a tight hug. He lets his hair go and instead he grabs Sofiane’s shirt, burying his face into the crook of his neck, screaming and crying at the same time. 

 

It took him hours to calm down, but Sofiane didn’t leave him for one second, he kept his arms around Eliott’s slim body, protecting him. His panic started to ease slowly, but his fingers were still gripping into his best friend’s shirt, not wanting to let go anytime soon. He sobbed into his chest, trying to speak, but he couldn’t, his throat was so sore and his lungs were burning so bad that he couldn’t force out a single word. Instead he just made quiet noises, closing his eyes. Sofiane let out a soft sigh and moved his hand up and down on Eliott’s back, rubbing it gently, which was actually really calming. 

Another thirty minutes later Eliott was fully calm, just resting his head on Sofiane’s shoulder, breathing slowly. His hands slipped off of his shirt now just hanging by his sides. They were still sitting on the floor.

“Do you need anything?” Sofiane asked now softly, hoping to get an answer. The boy cleared his throat, swallowing a couple times.

“Some water.” he whispered, his voice was still kinda gone, so that was the best he could force out. His friend nodded, picking him up from the ground now and putting him down on the couch like he was a porcelain doll. Eliott both hated and liked to be handle like that. 

“I’ll be right back.” he said with a soft smile, walking to the kitchen now. 

Eliott tried to find a comfortable position, his legs were hanging over the armrest of the couch, so his head can be placed on the other armrest. He both hated and loved this couch. This was his safe place when he couldn’t stand staying in his room anymore. And it was filled with so much memories. Lucas sitting at the piano, playing silly songs, Lucas sitting on his lap and kissing his face everywhere, Lucas sleeping in the armchair with a textbook on his chest. Lucas snorring loudly after that horrible party, looking like a real dumbass while sleeping and Eliott still thought that he was the most beautiful human being he had ever seen in his life. 

Sofiane came back with a bottle of water and a bright smile on his face. It was annoying how much of a fucking sunshine he could be within second. His face lit up even to the slightest of good things. It could be helpful when Eliott felt sad, being around such a positive person, but on his depressed periods, he could hate having him around. Right now he felt neutral. Just grabbing the water and chugging up half the bottle. Feeling already refreshed thanks to it. 

“Feeling better?” Sofiane asked, sitting down in the armchair again.

“Can you put on some music?” Eliott asked now, ignoring the question completely and pointed at the bluetooth speaker on the bookshelf. 

“Sure thing.” he said smiling and looked for a spotify playlist to start. It had some soft songs, instrumental, light rock, pop, anything that was chill. Eliott kinda liked it, so he just put down the water bottle and closed his eyes, letting himself drift off into the darkness, falling asleep slowly.

 

  


 

Eliott was staring at the picture for almost ten minutes now and honestly, he wanted to bash his head into the keyboard of his laptop. Seeing how fine Lucas was already made his heart hurt even more. He knew that this was the best for the boy and that he was the one who pushed Lucas away, but he still had any rights to be upset, especially cause he missed everyone from the flat. He missed his evening games with Mika, their movie nights with everyone, Lisa’s soft complains when he and Lucas was making out on the couch. But he missed Lucas more than anything. His soft touches, his voice, his hugs and just being around him. Eliott felt like he is drowning, dark clouds surrounding him, trying to suffocate him. 

He sighed and closed his laptop angrily, grabbing a scetchbook and starting to draw. This time he wasn’t going to make another hedgehog doodle, but one with a raccoon. He had to put his feelings on paper, to get rid of them. It was his way to express himself and to help coping with the burning pain that was eating up his heart. He tried a lot of times, but somehow he couldn’t grab into the feeling that surrounded him. It was hard to describe and even harder to draw. He tried to put on some music, smoking a cigarette, but it didn’t really help. He got mad and threw the scetchbook across the room, letting it land on the floor. 

He hated how tidy everything was. Lucille kept cleaning up, throwing out the crumpled papers, beer bottles, emptying the ashtray and shit like that. At least he was glad that she wasn’t being nosy and trying to hide his cigarettes this time. She learned her lessons and Eliott wasn’t a kid anymore, he was already 18. 

An hour later, like a lightning struck he knew what he had to draw, so he fetched another scetchbook, hence the other one was still lying on the floor too far from him to even try to get to it and he started to draw. When he was done, he was struggling whether he should put it on instagram or not, but his depressed mind wanted to shout at the world that it’s their fault he’s feeling bad. He took a deep breath, taking a photo of the drawing, editing it a little and then uploading it to his insta with no caption. 

  


 

 

He couldn’t remember when he fell back asleep again, but he woke up to a nice melody. First it was like it’s coming from far away, like a distant sound, but as he got more conscious, the melody got louder and louder. He could recognize that it was piano music and he wanted to kill the person that dared to put that on while he was so depressed. Both Lucille and Sofiane knew how much he wanted to avoid listening to piano, since it only reminded him of Lucas. Another few agonizing minutes he wanted to just get up and turn off the music, but as he opened his eyes and looked to the side, he saw someone sitting at the piano.

First he didn’t believe his eyes, he thought that this is just a dream, so he let himself enjoy the view. He could notice that beautiful, messy hair anytime, even from behind. Lucas was wearing dark jeans and a dark grey shirt. He didn’t look at Eliott, he was busy playing a beautiful melody which made the tall boy’s heart beat faster. He could feel all the emotions the boy was trying to show with his play. It was so passionate, slow but somehow still fast, romantic and endearing. It was just full of love and Eliott couldn’t believe that this was reality. 

He slowly sat on up the couch, watching his beloved boy running his fingers on the piano keys, making beautiful sounds with it. His heart was beating faster. He haven’t seen Lucas since that doomed saturday and it was so unreal. He was still so beautiful, his hair seemed soft like always, the veins popped through his skin as he played and Eliott was stunned by them. He had a sudden urge to reach out and touch them, but he got startled when the boy finished playing and turned around. He was just a little surprised to see that Eliott was awake, then a soft smile appeared on his face.

“You know what this music is called?” he asked softly, without greeting, just into the middle. Eliott liked that a lot, he had to admit. 

“No.” he mumbled and rubbed his eyes a little, making sure that this is, in fact the reality. “Could you tell me?” he asked on a surprisingly soft tone. That’s why he didn’t wanted to meet him, because he couldn’t push him away when he was basically melting in his presence. A playful smirk appeared on the short boy’s face, hitting Eliott right in the heart. 

“It’s called  _I love you_.” he said proudly, turning his whole body towards Eliott and he seemed a bit more shy, some redness appearing on his cheeks. “You know why I played this piece?” he asked and Eliott swallowed, trying to control his fast breathing and wiping his sweaty hands in his black sweatpants. He couldn’t force out a word, so he just decided to shook his head. Lucas sighed and looked down at his hands that were resting in his lap, then he looked at Eliott. “Because I love you.” he said seriously now, his blue eyes full of determination and something else. Eliott’s heart skipped a beat, or even two, he didn’t know, but tears started to build up in his eyes.

“I love you too.” he whispered, which made the other boy smile at him brightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys! I can’t tell you enough how much I love all of you and appreciate all the nice messages, all the likes and comments I get from you because of this story. Sadly this one is getting to its end, but I hope you guys will bear with me in the future. I have some ideas and I really hope you will love them. Bisous


	14. Minute by Minute

##  **Minute by Minute**

 

Lucas was in the flat, laughing his ass off on the couch as he watched Mika, Lisa and Manon trying to play twister. They were suffering here for hours now, Lucas even posted a hilarious photo on instagram. They always switched places on the couch, since they couldn’t let Lucas be the one who spins all night. He was having a lot of fun, drinking some beer while watching his flatmates getting their limbs intertwined with not much hope to get them free anytime soon. He noticed that his phone was buzzing in his pocket, so he put down his beer, checking who texted him. He started to breathe faster as he opened the message. It was a picture, a screenshot of an instagram post. 

 **sofalaoui**  
I don’t know what’s up with him, but Eliott just posted this

Lucas got up from the couch so fast, he almost stumbled over his flatmates. He grabbed the armchair and trying not to fall over. The others looked at him confused. His chest started to hurt like hell, eyes filling up with tears. He didn’t have time to explain, so he just ran to the door, putting on his jacket and his shoes, then he left with his keys in his hands. 

As he was sitting on the bus, he decided to text Lucille, he wanted to make sure that Eliott was okay. He needed information about him, anything. He could feel his heartbeats thumping in his ears, making it impossible for him to listen to the sounds around him. When he recieved a text, he almost jumped in his seat. He was on his nerves, worrying about his boyfriend more than anything. 

 **From Lucille**  
He is fine, sleeping on the couch, why are you asking? 

 **To Lucille**  
Can I have some alone time with him?   
I’m heading to his place now

 **From Lucille**  
Sure, I’ll be waiting for you, then I’ll go out and watch a movie

 **To Lucille**  
Thank you

The bus ride seemed like an eternity to Lucas. He was extremely nervous, trying to plan what to say or do when he meets Eliott again. He had to be convincing, he had to do something serious. His boyfriend, because he still wanted to think of him like that needed to know that no matter what happens, Lucas is not going to leave him, that he will stay with him. 

When the bus finally reached the right stop, he basically jumped off, running towards the building where Eliott was living. He couldn’t stop himself, he felt like he had to hurry, even if Eliott was safe. Everything happened so fast on saturday and sunday, he wanted to just hug him and whisper kind things into his ears. 

As he got to the place, Lucille was waiting outside with a soft smile on her face. She was wearing a long, grey coat. Lucas remembered seeing that on her when he thought she was Eliott’s girlfriend back then. She looked stunning, like always, wearing just a small amount of makeup, her hair was curly and shiny. Unlike the boy who was now sweaty and exhausted, barely catching his breath. And even if he was disgusting, the girl pulled him into a soft hug, which almost made him cry. He hugged back, wrapping one arm around her waist. 

“I’m so happy to see you.” Lucille said honestly and Lucas tightened his arm around her.

“I’m happy too.” he mumbled and let her go now.

“You can go up, the door is open. He’s sleeping on the couch, not sure when he’s going to wake up, but be patient with him. He was really grumpy and moody in the last few days.” she explained and kissed the boy on the cheek. “See you.” she chimed and walked away.

Lucas took a deep breath and entered the building, climbing up on the stairs to the third floor. He was nervous as he stood in front of that so familiar door. So many things happened to him here, so many good memories. He slowly opened it, walking inside as quietly as possible and closing the door behind himself. He took off his shoes and his jacket, walking to the living room. He felt like someone punched the air out of his lungs when he saw the tall boy laying on the couch, sleeping somewhat peacefully. 

He looked pale and the living room smelled like weed. The first thing that catched his eye were the drawings on the coffee table. He gasped, walking closer and picking up one. It was a hedgehog playing the piano. He grabbed another which showed a crying hedgehog in a hotel room. He looked at the sleeping boy with a painful expression. He was thinking about Lucas all this time, drawing him in different situations, but mostly almost being sad and that broke his heart. He didn’t wanted Eliott to think that he was sad because of what happened. 

He knelt down next to the couch and stroked Eliott’s hair gently. He only moved a little to this, but didn’t wake up, which get out of Lucas a relieved sigh. He didn’t know if he could form any decent sentence or even speak to this gorgeous human being. He was so perfect, even with that growing stubble on his face and the dark circles around his eyes. It was almost painful how much he missed to see those steel blue eyes, all the feelings Eliott could press into one intense stare. 

He looked behind now, at the piano next to the bookshelf and had an idea. He found a nice piece of music not so long ago that he was practicing in the common room. He actually planned to play it for Eliott, since it was called  _I love you_. Yes, a bit cheesy, but also kinda romantic, and his boyfriend was a sucker for romantic shit. He got up now, looking for the music sheet on his phone. When he finally found it, he walked to the piano, placing his phone down with the sheet opened on it. He opened the lid and ran his fingers through the keys, enjoying their coldness. It was such a long ago since he touched this piano, but now it was the time. 

He took a deep breath and started to play, sometimes glancing at the sheet to make sure he’s playing the right notes in the right order. He totally got into the tune, moving his body only slightly to the music as he kept going and going, until he started to reach the end. When the piece was done, he turned around and was just a tiny bit shocked by the fack that Eliott was staring at him. His eyes were beautiful, just like he remembered. His face was pale, but he still looked like a fucking model. Lucas swallowed and let a smile appear on his face.

“You know what this music is called?” he asked softly, avoiding the awkward greeting and “How are you” stuff,just straight to the point. 

“No.” Eliot murmured, voice sounding still sleepy and he even rubbed his eyes, which was inface, very cute. “Could you tell me?” he asked and the softness in his voice was melting the short boy’s heart. He loved to hear Eliott talking to him like this, it was like nothing happened between them. 

“It’s called  _I love you_.” he said proudly, turning fully around on the bench now to face Eliott. His cheeks started to heat up now as he tried to continue with his plan. He hoped that he won’t get rejected. “You know why I played this piece?” he asked softly and saw the nervousness on the other’s face. He tried to keep calm and not freaking out. He have to keep going with this and pour out his heart to this wonderful person in front of him. When Eliott shook his head, he took a deep breath and looked down at his hands on his lap, then back at the tall boy. “Because I love you.” he finally said it, a soft smile crawling its way on his face. He saw that Eliott was tearing up and all he just wanted was to run over there and pull him into a tight hug. 

“I love you too.” he whispered now and Lucas couldn’t believe his ears. His smile quickly turned into a happy grin, tears rolling down on his cheeks. Then in the next moment he gasped as Eliott picked him up, wrapping his arms around him tightly. He laughed a little and grabbed his shirt, pulling him even closer, burying his face into the warm chest, taking in the smell he missed so damn much.

They were standing there for long minutes just hugging each other, crying and giggling at the same time, but then Eliott pulled back, stroking Lucas’ hair softly. There was a sad smile on his face which made the short boy feel something not really good in his stomach. 

“Listen, Lucas... I think this can’t work between us.” he started and the boy looked at him in disbelief.

“Excuse me?” 

“I know what I just said... and what you said... but these feelings might not last forever.” he mumbled, locking his eyes at the floor. “But my bipolarity is something that is not gonna go away... it’s something you have to deal with and to be honest, I don’t want you to have to handle it.” he continued and now looked at Lucas, eyes red, ready to cry at anytime. “I want you to have a happy life, with someone who’s not gonna yell at you or ran off naked at any point. Someone you don’t have to worry about all day, someone who is able to look out for you and not needing help.” he finished now, breathing heavily through his nose, trying to read the expressions on the boy’s face. Lucas closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. A lots of emotions were running through his brain at this exact moment, but he just took a step forward, placing his hands on Eliott’s cheeks, looking straight into his eyes.

“Listen here, bad things might happen and yeah, I might get sad or angry... but you are not the only one who will yell or try to close things out. I have a lot of flaws.” he said and smiled a little. “I even punched you in the face, Eliott. And you still decided to stick with me. You have no idea how happy you made me with that.” he said softly, leaning his forehead on the other’s. “You can upset me, scare me or make me cry, I don’t give a shit. I rather feel all that, than live my life without you.”

Eliott was quiet and Lucas would give everything to know what is going on inside his head. He wanted him to feel good, to feel loved and he had no intentions to become his babysitter. Of course, he was worried, scared and wanted to protect him, but on the top of all, he just wanted to make him happy, love him unconditionally. He felt his heart skipping a beat when a soft smile appeared on Eliott’s face. His own face lit up to that and cupped the other’s cheeks softly.

“We don’t have to take big steps.” He whispered softly into the space between their lips. “We can do it day by day.” he continued and his smile grew bigger. “No, I think we should do it minute by minute.” he said now proudly and rubbed their noses together. “Minute by minute, okay?” 

“Minute by minute...” Eliott softly whispered and closed his eyes, nodding his head just a little. “Okay, I can do that.” he sighed. 

“You know what are we doing in the next minute?” Lucas asked, softly rubbing away a tear with his thumb that started to roll down on his boyfriend’s face. Eliott shook his head slowly and the boy leant closer. “We’re going to kiss.” 

And so they did. Eliott wrapped his arms around Lucas’ waist, pulling him close as their lips met. It ws slow first, searching, like they were kissing for the first time. The short boy ran his fingers into Eliott’s wild locks, grabbing on them, making him let out a groan. He used this opportunity to deepend the kiss, sliding his tongue inside, playing with Eliott’s. Things got sloppy and wild pretty quickly, hands grabbing everywhere, teeth bashing into teeth making them laugh between kisses. 

When they were out of breath, they decided to just get on the couch and rest for a little. Lucas sit at the end, so Eliott could lay down, resting his head on his lap, which was just super cute. They were like this for a while when Lucas grabbed his phone and took a picture of Eliott. 

“What are you doing?” he asked, voice slightly sleepy. 

“I wanna post it on instagram.” he explained with a wide smile, hoping that his boyfriend is not going to protest. And he didn’t, he just chuckled and shook his head a little, but then started to shower Lucas’ palm with kisses that was resting on his face since a while now. The short boy chuckled and enjoyed this a lot. 

  


 

Eliott smiled like an idiot, still laying on the couch with Lucas. He obviously unblocked the boy both on insta and in his contacts. When he saw the new post he was incredibly happy and just couldn’t stop smiling. And he thought he was the hopelessly romantic one out of the two of them. Turns out Lucas is also going for that title with much success. 

“I’m staying here with you.” Lucas said suddenly, looking down at the boy, caressing his cheek softly. “I’m not going anywhere.” he smiled now and leant down to place a gentle kiss on the other’s forehead. Eliott let out a soft giggle and he reached up to touch his boyfriend’s face. 

“I don’t want you to go either.” he said smiling. Lucas smirked and kissed his fingertips before reaching for his phone again. Eliott shot him a confused look. “You wanna take another picture?”

“No, I’m going to text your sister.” he smirked and opened his chat with Lucille, typing a quick message.

 **To Lucille**  
Is it possible that you leave us alone for a couple days? Pretty please

 **From Lucille**  
Sure, I’ll go to a hotel. No big deal

 **To Lucille**  
Thank you so much

 **From Lucille**  
Just make him happy, that’s all that matters to me

 **To Lucille**  
And to me too 

 

Somewhere around the evening Eliott decided that he’s feeling well enough to make dinner for both of them. Lucas tried to talk him down, convince that they can also order some takeout, but he was so determined there was no point in trying to stop him. So he followed his boyfriend to the kitchen and sat up on the table, just like he always used to, so he won’t be feeling so small. He watched Eliott in his sweatpants, black shirt and hoodie preparing some vegetables, cutting some potatoes. It was endearing to see him like this, they haven’t been in this kitchen together since a long time now and Lucas missed moments like this. 

It took him not more than thirty minutes to put together a nice dish with steamed chicken breast, some vegetables and mashed potatoes. Lucas’ stomach was growling just by smelling it which made his boyfriend laugh. He put the food on two plates, walking to the table and giving the short boy a kiss before he got off and sat down on one of the chairs instead. Everything was so calm and perfect, like there weren’t a week long pause in their relationship. And it was good like this, because they belonged together. 

“This is really delicious.” Lucas smiled softly and stroked his boyfriend’s arm. They were sitting close enough that their knees were touching, making both of them feel safe and comfortable. 

“I told you I can cook.” Eliott said proudly and grabbed the boy’s hand, placing a soft kiss on it. “I would do anything for you.”

“I would do anything for you too.” Lucas smiled softly and ran his fingers over Eliott’s soft lips. The boy smiled and grabbed his index finger with his teeth, licking the tip slowly before letting it go. The short boy felt his face heating up, but he couldn’t tear his eyes from his boyfriend. 

“I love you.” Eliott whispered, pulling him closer by the waist until he was sitting on his lap. Lucas smiled happily, placing himself into a comfortable position and wrapping his arms around the other’s neck. 

“I love you too.” he said happily and gave his boyfriend a soft peck on the lips, then he kissed hs jaw, his cheek, his nose. “So many things I love about you.” 

“Tell me, please.” Eliott started and smiled softly at his boyfriend’s confused look. “Tell me when did you know you fell in love.” he asked, finger caressing the skinunder Lucas’ shirt. He sighed and knocked his forehead to Eliott’s, closing his eyes, trying to think about the answer. Trying to pinpoint the exact moment when he felt like “Yes, this is the one I wanna live the rest of my life with”. And he felt like he knew the answer.

“When I saw you in the common room, when we painted the wall together.” he explained and opened his eyes, smiling brightly at him. “I think that was the moment when I realized how deep my feelings were. How much I loved you.” he said, softly caressing the other’s cheeks. “And I had no doubts since then, my feelings are stronger than ever.” he finished and gave a soft kiss on his boyfriend’s lips, who was now smiling like an idiot.

“Maybe that common room is the symbol of our love then.” he said when their lips parted. “Because I fell for you when I saw you playing the piano there.” his voice was soft, like warm honey, making the short boy feel tiny butterflies in his stomach. “I had a crush on your for a while, but both because of my bipolarity and my fear of relationships, I was being mean to you...” he admitted, which actually made sense now that Lucas was thinking back to it. Sometimes Eliott was annoying or even a real asshole, other times he was flirty and soft. 

“Yeah, I remember that you laughed at me in first year when I slipped on ice in the school yard and called me a “clumsy idiot”.” he said smirking and enjoyed to see his boyfriend’s face turning a little pale. 

“Yeah... that was a shitty thing to say.” he admitted and looked away. Lucas chuckled and kissed his cheek a couple times to get his attention back.

“Hey, that was a long time ago, I am not gonna bring up things like that again, okay?” he whispered softly, keeping his lips close to Eliott’s as the boy turned back and looked into his eyes. “We are together now and that’s the only thing that matters.” he said with a soft, reassuring smile.

“Do you think there are a Lucas and Eliott who weren’t as dumb as we? That they maybe got together right in first year.” he asked curiously, running his fingers through the short boy’s hair. Lucas chuckled as he thought about it, he totally loved how from his silly idea, the parallel universes became their thing. 

“I’m pretty sure there is a Lucas No.635 who saw his Eliott on the school halls one day and thought to himself “Woah, that is one really attractive human being.” he said smirking and kissed the other’s lips gently. “What about Eliott No.795?” Lucas asked softly, enjoying this silly talk a lot.

“Hm...” Eliott was patting his index finger to his lips as he was thinking and then smiled. “Eliott No.795 transfered to school for his third year, after some inconveniences he had in his previous school. On his first day he felt like everyone was watching him, the mysterious new guy. Then he entered the school and a group of boys passed by him, one of them bumped into him, making Eliott to turn away. Then he saw Lucas No.837 talking to his friends with so much enthusiasm that he didn’t even notice that someone bumped into him. And Eliott just watched him until he was out of sight.” he told his little story with so much confidence and fondness, that Lucas just wanted to kiss him until one of them passes out. Instead he just cupped his face, placing soft kisses all around his face, making the tall boy giggle and damn if that wasn’t the cutest thing he had ever heard. 

 

  


 

Lucas is smirking at his phone and then back at Eliott. They are now sitting in the armchair, well, the tall boy is sitting there and Lucas is on his lap, resting his head on his boyfriend’s chest. Eliott posted the picture a while ago now, but he still kept getting notifications from it. They thought it will be funny and the short boy almost melted when he saw the caption. His boy was so damn romantic and he loved it. 

“So, I am the love of your life?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. They haven’t talked since an hour now, just sitting there quietly, enjoying each other’s presence. Eliott glanced at him from under his beautiful eyelashes with a cheeky smile on his face. 

“Of course you are. Who else would be?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows playfully. 

“I don’t know.” Lucas pretended to be dumb. “Shouldn’t it be someone you are with since years now?” he asked playfully, tracing little circles on his boyfriend’s chest over his shirt.

“I don’t have to be with him for years to know that he is the one.” Eliott replied with so much confidence it made the short boy blush. “I might even marry him at some point.” he whispered into his ear now that sent shivers down Lucas’ spine. He gasped and looked into those steel blue eyes, seeing that this time Eliott wasn’t rambling or joking.

“You think he would say yes?” he asked with a playful smirk, sliding his hand up into the tall boy’s messy hair. Eliott blinked at him surprised a couple times before he let out a soft, heartfelt laugh. 

“I really hope so, otherwise I wouldn’t know what to do.” he said smiling and kissed Lucas’ forehead gently. “And I really think he would look beautiful in a white suit.” he added, hands roaming around the short boy’s waist, wandering under the soft material of his shirt. Lucas let out a soft sigh, burying his face into the crook of Eliott’s neck, taking in his smell. 

It was so good to be back here, not just in this apartment, but in his boyfriend’s arms, knowing that he loves him back, that he called him the love of his life. So unreal and at the same time the most real thing he ever experienced at the same time. All the soft touches, the kind words, hearing Eliott laughing and seeing his smile made him happier than ever. After so much suffering they’ve been through together, all that time apart, agonizing days and wondering what to do, it all faded away after each kiss they shared. Lucille once told him that there will be bad days, days when they will feel like it’s never going to end, but all of it will be worth to get through when the better days follow them. And she was right. Lucas wanted to capture these happy moments and put them into a jar, saving it forever. 

Long fingers dragged him out of his thoughts as they started to tickle his sides under the shirt. He tried to suppress his laugh by burying his face into Eliott’s shoulder, but as he didn’t seem to stop anytime, he just grabbed the boy’s biceps, laughing loudly and fidgeting in his lap, trying to get away from the tickling fingers. Eliott seemed to enjoy this, letting his hands run up and down on his boyfriend’s sides, then he just stopped the tickling, starting to pull up the shirt slowly. Lucas was wiping the tears away he had because of all the laughing and let out a surprised squeak as the tall boy forced him to raise his arms so he could take off the shirt and throw it on the floor. 

“Much better.” he mumbled, pressing his lips on the short boy’s chest, kissing it gently. Lucas could feel his skin heat up where his mouth touched him, but also felt his cheeks burning. They haven’t done anything like this since the hotel, and he couldn’t deny the fact that his body was craving for it. To feel Eliott’s skin on his, the tender kisses and to hear his moaning. 

“Eliott...” the name just came off his tongue so much more erotically than he wanted it to, but hearing the boy’s satisfied groan resonating on his chest made him excited. His long fingers were circling over the waistband of his pants, stopping over the button, while his lips wandered up through Lucas’ neck towards his ear, biting his earlobe. 

“Can I?” he was basically moaning into his ear and even if he wanted to say no, which was unlikely to happen, he wouldn’t be able to. Not when his boyfriend sounded like an animal in heat. 

“Yeah...” that was all he could force out, feeling a soft cloud taking over his mind, making it impossible for him to think straight. But who would want to think when there’s a hot guy trying to take off your pants? 

Eliott smirked and within a few seconds, he was pulling off the short boy’s pants, throwing it to the floor next to the shirt. Now he was sitting on his lap with only his underwear on. He turned his body to be face to face with his handsome boyfriend, knees resting to the arms of the armchair. Their smirked at each other before they started to make out wildly. Hands wandering everywhere on their bodies, searching, grabbing, scratching. Lucas pulled Eliott’s hair just a little, making him groan which sent shiver through his whole body. He slid his tongue between the boy’s parted lips, inviting his to a wild and wet dance. He could feel the bulge on Eliott’s crotch growing, rubbing against his own hardness. It was almost infuriating how the boy under him was still fully dressed. So he let his arms roam on the soft, warm torso down to his waist, pulling up his shirt slowly. He could see the cocky smile on Eliott’s face as he pulled the shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor. Then they continued kissing. 

After long, sweet moment of making out, they finally got to the point where even Eliott couldn’t bear that he still had his pants on, so with some struggles and Lucas’ help they got rid of it without getting up from the armchair. The short boy moaned into his boyfriend’s mouth as their crotches rubbed against each other only being separated by the thin material of their boxers. Suddenly they were both aware of what was about to happen, so Eliott looked into the boy’s eyes, hands grabbing his waist gently. Lucas felt the clouds disappear from his mind, leaving more space to his thoughts about the handsome boy in front of him.

“You sure you want this?” Eliott asked carefully, looking up and down on Lucas, while licking his lips. He was clearly ready to go further with this and the short boy smirked at that, it was good to see how much this guy wanted him. Him, out of all those people out there. 

“I want you more than anything, Eliott.” he whispered, their lips just an inch away from each other. “I am all yours, my soul, my heart and my whole body.” he continued, fingers sliding up to cup the tall boy’s cheeks as he gave him a tender kiss on the lips. “You have to deal with the consequences.” he finished smirking, biting Eliott’s bottom lip playfully. 

“Fuck, Lucas...” he groaned and his hands slid down, grabbing the boy’s butt wildly. He let out a soft whimper, but was still smiling happily. “I will never let you go.” he whispered into his mouth before kissing him with such passion that Lucas felt like he sucked out all the oxygen from his lungs. He wrapped his arms around Eliott’s neck, ready to continue this to the very end. 

 

  


 

Lucas was laying in bed, smirking at his phone. He only got out of bed to check out on Eliott and he happened to take a paparazzi photo of him while he was shaving. He had to post it out, because it was just a cute moment and of course he had to show off his boyfriend. Now he could understand why was the tall boy so obsessed with posting about them on insta, it was addictive. 

Now his boyfriend was back in bed with him, resting his head on Lucas’ shoulder as he checked his phone. He laughed at the instagram post, looking up at his soft boy, kissing his jawline a few times before he started typing a comment. Lucas rolled his eyes when he saw it and playfully bit Eliott’s nose, who let out a surprised squeak.  ** _That was so cute._**

“So, you’re stalking me in the bathroom now?” he asked, squinting his eyes a little. Lucas smiled and played with his hair now, eyes locked on his boyfriend’s face.

“Yeah, I guess you had no idea what you have to deal with when you agreed on being with me.” he winked at him smirking. 

“That is my line.” he said pouting, like actually pouting. The audacity this damn boy has, Lucas couldn’t believe it, so instead he just leant down, locking their lips together in a soft, loving kiss. He could get used to being like this forever, staying in bed with Eliott, kissing, complimenting each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys! I think this could be the end, BUT if you all want one more chapter of domestic Elu content with some sweet insta posts, let me know and I will start writing it. Also make sure to give me your opinions on this chapter. I LOVED to write it and I LOVE all of your from the bottom of my heart


	15. Happily Ever After

##  **Happily Ever After**

 

After three days of staying in Eliott’s apartment and basically not going anywhere, they decided that it’s time to spend some time with their friends. Lucas asked the girls to put together some kind of event for everyone and of course Daphné jumped on the opportunity immediately. They decided to meet in the park and have some outside party. Emma and Alex were taking care of the booze, Daphné got music and decoractions, Idriss brought his soccer ball in case anyone wants to play, Manon made cakes, Alexia got the sandwiches, while Yann, Arthur and Basile got some pizza. The boys were on their way to the park and Lucas was just so happy, he had to post something on insta. They kinda got obsessed with showing off their love online. It just made him feel good and proud. 

  


 

Eliott was giggling next to him as he read the comments under the picture. It was good to see him being happy outside of the safety of his apartment. He made sure to leave only if his boyfriend feels better enough to be amongst other people. And since he said that he will be fine, Lucas had no intentions to stay inside either. He missed his friends and the spring break was coming to its end, so it was nice to have a little party. Not the getting high and drunk until you throw your guts out, but a chill, eating, drinking and talking kind of one. 

When they got there, everything was already set up, people were talking and having fun. The music was loud, but not too much. It was Sofiane who spotted them first, basically running towards them and wrapping his arms around the boys happily, squeezing them together. Eliott laughed and with his hand that wasn’t entwined with Lucas’ hugged him back. The short boy did the same and they stood there like this for a few moments until the others joined them.

“Finally! I thought you guys will never arrive.” Yann said, holding a bottle of beer in his hand, smirking at the boys. 

“I am so happy for you guys!” Daphné screamed and threw herself on the boys, much more agressively than Sofiane did, almost knocking them off, but they managed to stand still, enduring the blonde girl’s hug, until she pulled back with a bright smile. 

“So, is everything good between you two?” Arthur asked, offering two plastic cups to the boys, probably filled with some alcohol. Lucas accepted it, but Eliott just shook his head, he decided to stay sober for today. 

“Better than ever.” the short boy answered after taking a sip of his drink. It was whiskey coke, he liked it a lot. 

“Are you okay too, bro?” Yann asked with honest concern in his voice, turning to Eliott. Lucas felt happy and proud that his best friend cared so much for his boyfriend. It was truly endearing to see it, and seemingly the tall boy felt the same as a wide, happy smile spread on his face.

“Yeah, I’m doing well, thank for asking.” he said on a joyful tone and let go of his boyfriend’s hand just to throw his arm lazily around Lucas’ shoulder, pulling him to his chest. He chuckled and leant on him happily as everyone started to walk back towards the place where they were dancing. They had three tables, one for the food, one for the cakes and one for the drinks. Eliott snatched an iced tea for himself and they just joined the gang after that. Sofiane and Idriss were dancing with the girls now.

“So...” Basile started speaking and Lucas immediately felt like this is not gonna end well. He was right. “Did you guys have sex?” he asked shamelessly and the short boy wasn’t even that shocked by the question, but that can’t be said about Arthur or Yann. The blond one hit him in the side roughly enough to startle him, so Baz almost spilled his drink on the boys, but like they were one person, just stepped back out of reflex. Yann on the other hand tried not to choke on his own drink, coughing wildly. 

“Are you insane?” Arthur raised his voice, staring at their curly haired friend with pure disbelief. 

“What?” Basile whined while massaging the place where he got hit. “We are teenagers, this is a normal question to ask.” he said, trying to came off as the innocent one. 

“He is not wrong.” Eliott said suddenly, taking a sip of his drink and earning some shocked looks from the other three boys, while Basile looked like he found his Lord and Savior. “And answering the question, we did have sex. Multiple times actually.” he said smirking, making his boyfriend choke on his drink now. 

“Eliott!” he screamed between two coughs. Basile clearly beamed at what he just heard, while his other friends were laughing. 

“Can’t I talk openly about or sexual life?” the tall boy asked with a charming smile after his boyfriend stopped the choking session. Lucas rolled his eyes now, but still leaning to him, letting out a soft sigh. 

“Look at our sweet Lulu becoming a cute boyfriend.” Arthur was cooing at him, even pinching the short boy’s cheek. He squinted his eyes at his friend and hit away his hand, just slightly annoyed, but a little smile was tugging at his lips. 

“Yeah, Eliott managed to tame the beast.” Yann said smirking, earning a hit on the shoulder from his best friend. 

“It’s good to have my own little beast.” Eliott smirked and placed a kiss on his boy’s hair, sliding his arm from his shoulders down to his waist. “He is the best.” 

“Stop it.” Lucas chuckled and pushed him just lightly, still staying in his arms though, a soft blush creeping up on his cheek from the kind words.

“Ahw, they are so adorable!” a voice came from behind them. Both Lucas and Eliott turned their heads to see Idriss standing there and before they could even have a chance to escape, he wrapped his long arms around them. Eliott just laughed, while the short boy tried to catch his breath in the tight hold. He was indoors with his boyfriend so much, that all this hugging started to make him feel just a little bit uncomfortable. But he endured it, because he loved these people. 

“Okay, that’s enough, Idriss.” Sofiane walked to them now, pulling back his friend by his shoulder. “You are strangling Lucas.” 

“Oh, right. Sorry.” he laughed and took a step back, smiling brightly. “It’s just so good to see Eli being so happy again.” he explained.

“I’m actually happier than ever.” Eliott said, squeezing Lucas in his arm gently. “I am completely in love with this guy.” he smirked and kissed his boyfriend’s cheek. 

They stayed for hours just hanging out with the others, making jokes, telling stories and just having fun in general. Lucas enjoyed being outside, openly affectionate with his boyfriend in the presence of their friends. He might have had a fallen apart family, but these people made him feel like he was safe and loved. He loved how free and happy Eliott looked all the time as they were in the park, his life seemed to be just perfect like this. 

  


 

When Manon got a new camera that was on sale for a really good price, all hell break loose. She wanted to photograph everything, take pictures of food, of Lisa chilling on the couch, but most importantly, she was begging for the boys to let her take pictures of them. Eliott would agree to it from the beginning, but Lucas was too nervous and insecure to do it. Yes, they took photos of themselves and their friends did too, but it was different to actually pose for a “professional” to take pictures of them. 

Then a month later, around the end of school year when Eliott and him were studying together, the topic came up again. Lucas was sitting on the bed, reading his biology notes, while his boyfriend sat at his desk, doing math homework. They were supposed to do a literature assignment too, but it wasn’t as important like their current works. Everything was hell in school around this time, they had a shit ton of homework and even more things to learn for. Lucas couldn’t even remember when it was the last time that they went on an actual date and not studying together or doing homework. He missed their morning coffee dates, but both of them had things planned for most of the time before classes. 

He was so occupied with his notes that he only noticed the third piece of crumpled paper that hit his face and then landed on his lap. He looked up at Eliott, who was turned to him smirking, throwing another one at him that bounced off his chest, then joining the others in his lap. He raised an eyebrow, not understanding his boyfrend’s childish behavior. 

“What?” He asked, putting his notes to the side and turning his body towards the other boy. 

“Pay attention to me.” he said pouting, like he had any rights to do that. Lucas rolled his eyes, he got better at ignoring the cute faces that Eliott kept pulling off to get from him what he wanted. 

“We are supposed to be studying. Bac remember?” he sighed, glancing at the books laying on Eliott’s bed. 

“But we haven’t kissed since hours now.” his voice was almost high-pitched and the short boy couldn’t hold back a smug grin. 

“Oh yeah?” he asked, like he didn’t care, just to fuck around a little. “I didn’t even notice.” he lied, still having that shit-eating grin on his face. Eliott gave him a disapproving look, throwing a pencil at his direction, but he missed, so it landed on the floor. Lucas chuckled.

“Don’t laugh! Come here and let me smooch that adorable face of yours.” He said with a grumpy look on his face. The short boy smirked, getting up from the bed and walking to his boyfriend, stopping between his opened legs. A huge, happy smile appeared on Eliott’s face. Lucas gently put his hands on his boyfriend’s cheeks, cupping it softly before planting a kiss on his lips. It was innocent at first, but then the tall boy’s hands wandered down from his waist to his butt, grabbing it wildly, forcing out a moan from him. He used this opportunity to slide his tongue into his mouth, deepending the kiss. 

They were making out for long minutes like this, Eliott sitting on the chair, Lucas standing between his legs, arms roaming on each other’s body. Then they had to break apart for air, wheezing like they just ran a marathon, foreheads knocked together. The tall one was smirking victoriously, being satisfied with himself that his silly plan to distract his boyfriend worked so well. 

“I wanna ask you something.” he whispered after their breathing started to normalize. Lucas opened his eyes slowly, looking at him with anticipation. “Can you let Manon to take photos of us?” he asked, eyes filled with hope and excitement. The short boy sighed, they haven’t talked about this since a long time now and seeing how much Eliott still wanted it just made him come to the conclusion that he would do anything to make this guy happy.

“Yeah, okay, sure.” he mumbled into the tiny space between their lips. His boyfriend made a squeaky noise before he started laughing and pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. Lucas couldn’t help but laugh with him, wrapping his arms around his neck and burying his face into the soft, messy hair. 

 

Lucas texted Manon not much after and she got so excited, bombing them with ideas, locations, sample pictures they could recreate. The short boy was overwhelmed, so he let his boyfriend handle this situation and he handled it so damn well. They sat down with the girl at a calm saturday to talk about the photoshoot. Eliott made sketches and claimed that they had to take the pictures on the school yard after classes. Manon agreed that it’s not a bad idea and she loved the sketches too. They seemed to agree on everything with Eliott in the end, so that is how a week later Lucas was posing for couple photos at school with his boyfriend. 

The weird thing was that he didn’t hated this at all. Yes, the first few pictures felt awkward and he felt like he’s a complete mess compared to his boyfriend, but after a while he got comfortable. Manon was mostly quiet, just giving them soft instructions once in a while, but it was mostly Eliott who put themselves into the next position. Lucas was grateful that they were wearing comfortable clothes, nothing too fancy. He even had a baseball cap, feeling like he will need it to cover his mess of a hair, but Eliott didn’t let him put on, so most of the time he was just holding it in his hands. 

When they were done, Lucas was shocked that more than an hour passed by. He felt like it was just a few minutes with Eliott by his side. They sat down on a bench with the girl, quickly going through the pictures and he was stunned by them completely. Manon did a great job and seeing how excited his boyfriend was just made him extra happy. As a reward for the awesome pictures, the boys invited Manon for a dinner and of course she agreed. They went to a nice burger place nearby, having fun there for almost three hours, going through the pictures over and over, sometimes laughing at the expressions on the boys faces where they were blinking or sneezing. Then both of them decided to pick a photo to post it on instagram, both because they were proud of the great work Manon did and they wanted to share their love with the whole world, like always.

  


 

 

  


 

 

##  **August 10**

Lucas almost stumbled in the boxes as he got up from the couch, cursing as he made his way to the kitchen. He was only wearing his briefs and a shirt he had stolen from Eliott. He yawned while he was pouring coffee into his mug, leaning to the counter and watching his boyfriend still sleeping peacefully. He couldn’t hold back a happy smirk, looking through the boxes scattered around the flat. 

When he finished his drink, he prepared some cheese toast and another mug of coffee, walking back to the living room with those. He sat down on the couch and kissed his boyfriend’s hair softly. He let out a little groan, turning around, slowly opening his eyes. When he saw the boy next to him, a soft smirk appeared on his face. 

“Good morning, my love.” he mumbled, voice still a bit hoarse. Lucas chuckled and planted a gentle kiss on his lips.

“Good morning, handsome. I made you breakfast.” he said softly, showing the plate with the sandwiches and the mug in his hands. Eliott slowly sat up, leaning on the back of the couch and rubbing the sleepiness out of his eyes, yawning. When he finished that, he took the coffee first, taking a few sips and letting the caffeine spread in his body, waking him up a little. It had just a tiny bit of sugar in it, which was perfect. 

“You always make the most delicious coffee for me.” Eliott claimed, giving his sweet boy a peck on the lips before taking the plate of toasts, placing it on his lap. 

“Isn’t that obvious? I am making you coffe every morning since months now.” he said with a proud grin, placing himself on the couch a bit closer to his boyfriend, resting his head on his shoulder. 

“Of course, but that doesn’t mean I can’t compliment you.” he replied and took a bite of his toast, then handing it to Lucas. He didn’t grab it, just took a bite and smiled at him softly. They were always sharing breakfast like that, that’s why Lucas never bothered to have two plates of food, when they can do this instead. 

“When will Idriss arrive exactly?” Lucas asked after they were almost done with the eating. He looked through the boxes and just wished they could get this done as quick as possible. He hated packing stuff, but today was a special day for both of them, so he pushed those negative thoughts aside. 

“Around 10.” Eliott shrugged and continued drinking his coffee. “We will be done by noon, don’t worry.” he said softly, kissing his boyfriend’s cheek. 

“I’m not worrying.” Lucas pouted and buried his face into the tall boy’s neck. “This is was we have planned since a month now. I just hate packing stuff.” he mumbled, making Eliott laugh.

“Come on, Lucas. You don’t even have that many things. It’s like five or six boxes, no furniture and most of them were already boxed.” he reminded him kindly, kissing his forehead before drinking the rest of his coffee. 

“Yeah, because they banished me to this couch from hell.” he said bitterly, wrapping an arm around Eliott’s waist, leaning his body on him a bit more. 

“We have some good memories with this couch, though.” the tall boy said smirking. “When Manon was at Emma’s, Lisa visited her parents and Mika had a hookup with someone.” he reminded him, whispering into his ear. “You were quite loud that day, even louder than the couch.” he continued, placing a kiss on his earlobe. “I can still remember how you moaned my name. It makes me hard just to think about it.” he finished it by biting the boy’s neck, making him let out a squeaky moan. Lucas felt his face burning and he gently slapped his boyfriend’s chest.

“Stop this! Everyone is still sleeping.” he muttered into the tall one’s shoulder, trying to get rid of the blush on his cheeks somehow. 

“See, that’s why we’re moving together.” Eliott huffed with a bit of annoyance in his voice. The short boy looked up, studying those steel blue eyes with curiosity. “I wanna be able to tease you in the morning without worrying to get caught by your flatmates.” he sighed and placed his hand on the boy’s cheek. “Maybe even having some morning action.” he winked at him playfully which made him giggle. 

“Yeah, I have to admit that I would love that.” he said smiling, leaning into the warm touch of Eliott. 

“Then let’s get dressed and pack up the rest of your stuff, please.” he said smiling and got up from the “bed”, looking for his pants and shirt on the floor, while his boyfriend just kept laying there, adoring his half naked body from behind. “Baby, if you keep staring at my ass, you’re going to drool all over your sheets.” Eliott said as he put on his pants and glanced at his boyfriend over his shoulder, smirking. Lucas blushed heavily, looking away and getting up from the bed, sniffing his boy’s shirt one more time before taking it off and dressing up into his own clothes. 

Hours later they were done, box packed into the trunk of Idriss’ car, boys sitting in the back, heading to Eliott’s apartment. Lucas was kinda nervous, holding his boyfriend’s hand all the way. It was one thing staying at each other’s place for days, spending almost every day together and living with said person. What if he says something stupid when he’s upset with school? What if they fight and Eliott needs space? 

So many questions he didn’t know the answers for. He will also miss the presence of Manon, Mika and Lisa, their happiness, complains, everything. Of course despite the bad things that was going on between them, Mika cried when the boys announced to the flatmates that Lucas is going to move in with Eliott. He hugged the short boy tightly, sobbing that he is not gonna say amen to this, because he needs his cute son. It was both annoying and endearing at the same time, since he had no rights to forbid anything, but he also cared so much that he couldn’t just let go of Lucas. It took them hours to calm down the older boy, reassuring him, that they will still come back to hang out with them sometimes and that he should be glad there won’t be anymore living room action he could come home to. 

As they arrived Idriss, Lucas and Eliott carried up the boxes to the third floor, where Lucille and Sofiane was waiting for them. They made sure there is enough space for Lucas’ stuff, also the girl decided to cook for everyone while they are packing. Sofiane hugged both boys after they put down the boxes, congratulating them for this big step and saying how proud he is. Lucas was a bit overwhelmed and excused himself, joining Lucille in the kitchen, while his boyfriend kept chatting with his friends. 

“What are you cooking?” he asked softly. Lucille turned around her head and smiled at him. She had longer hair now, not that curly, but still only wearing light makeup which made her really beautiful. 

“Hey, Lucas!” she greeted happily, waving for him to come closer and as he did, she kissed him on the cheek. “It’s good to see you. I’m cooking some chicken stew with rice and vegetables.” she explained, stirring the tasty looking meal in the pot. 

“Smells nice.” he said and jumped up on the kitchen counter, making himself comfortable. It was weird to think of this place as his own, not just as Eliott’s now. “Where are you gonna stay now, by the way?” he asked curiously after a few minutes of silence. “I mean, I wouldn’t have any problems of you staying here while you’re in Paris, but...” he tried to quickly explain himself, but Lucille cut him off. 

“It’s fine, I don’t wanna cockblock you guys.” she said smirking and winked at the short boy playfully, which made him giggle. “I was actually thinking of finding a flat for myself.” she said a bit quieter and Lucas almost fell off the counter as he leant forward to make sure he hears her well.

“What? Are you serious?” he asked excitedly. In the past few months he and Lucille become really good friends, amusing themselves by teasing Eliott to the point where he couldn’t handle being in the same room with the two of them. It was beautiful and the boy couldn’t wish for a better sister-in-law, if he could call her that. And Eliott had no rights to complain, because he and Yann seemed to get along very well, sometimes even hanging out just them, without Lucas or the boys. It made him happy how their lives seemed to go into a very good direction. His mother and Eliott’s parents were also really supportive, having some issues at the beginning, but now it was all smooth and clean. 

“Yeah, I am looking for a job here.” she nodded and put the stove on lighter heat, turning to the boy now, arms crossed. “I just haven’t told Eliott, because I don’t want him to think that I wanna come back to watch over him.” she sighed and looked down. The boy hopped off the counter and walking to her, he might be the short one, but he still felt like he has to make sure Lucille feels loved. So he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her gently and stroking her hair. 

“I’m sure Eliott would never think that.” he said softly. “And if he does, I knock some sense in his fine ass, don’t worry. I am so happy you wanna stay in Paris.” he said with honesty, squeezing the girl a little, which made her laugh. 

“Thank you.” she said, softly pushing him away now, but planting a kiss on his cheek before turning back to the stove, continuing the cooking. Lucas smirked and placed himself back on the counter with a beer in his hand he grabbed from the fridge. He looked around happily and proudly, relizing that now he has his own apartment that he shares with the love of his life. It was so unreal, so new, but he loved every bit of it. He wouldn’t have thought it at the beginning of the year that he’s going to live together with Eliott Demaury, having an established and healthy relationship.

When the boys walked to the kitchen to get some drinks for themselves, Eliott basically launched himself on Lucas, smooching him like there’s no tomorrow, while the other two walked to Lucille, kissing her cheeks from each side. She just giggled and waved her hands at them when they tried to taste the food. The boys laughed at them, while cuddling each other, Lucas sitting on the counter still, legs open with Eliott between them, leaning his back on his boyfriend’s chest, making himself become the little spoon. 

 

  


 

School time was coming, both of them were busy with getting ready. Eliott was going to start his studies at college too, studying art and cinematography, while also working at a coffee shop. During the summer Lucas also had a job, helping out in a flower shop that Lucille showed him. He liked the place a lot and was sad that he has to finish it once school starts, but with the graduation and everything going on in their life, he couldn’t handle that too. He also had a dog to take care of now. It was tough at first, but as they both got used to its presence and learned what they can and can not do, it become as easy as breathing. Their morning routine started with Lucas making breakfast, feeding the dog, Eliott making coffee and taking a shower, then they eat together before heading out to work or just start their day at home. Luna was a really lazy puppy, only cewing on the legs of the coffee table sometimes, but she barely caused any troubles. 

They were a happy little family and Lucas felt like nothing can make this better, cause it was already perfect. Well, he was completely wrong. When their one year anniversary started to become a close event, Eliott started acting weird, needing more alone time than he usually wanted, saying that he’s working on a college project that is really important for his studies. Lucas tried not to read too much into it and just let it go, but he still felt suspicious. 

Then just a week before their anniversary, Eliott visited him at school, on a friday afternoon. They went to the common room in hopes to hang out with the others, but the place was strangely empty, not even one student were there playing table soccer or using the computer. Lucas found it weird, but his boyfriend didn’t let him too much time to chew on it, because he dragged him to the mural they painted last year. He was about to ask what is going on, when suddenly Eliott was down on one knee, holding a tiny blue box in his hands, slowly opening it, revealing two rings in it. They were made of white gold with one blue steel stripe in the middle. Lucas gasped, placing his hands on his mouth, not believing his eyes.

“Lucas Lallemant...” Eliott started, looking deadly serious with a soft smile on his face still. “Will you marry me?” 

Lucas opened his mouth, but he couldn’t force the words out, his eyes filling with tears, so he could barely see his boyfriend, but he started to nod quickly, before he could think that he doesn’t want to. He could hear Eliott’s relieved sigh and then his chuckled as he reached up for the short boy’s hand, standing up slowly. He tried to rub the tears out of his eyes, smiling like an idiot when his boyfriend slid the ring up on his finger slowly, then kissing his knuckle. He grabbed the other ring, doing the same for Eliott and then jumping into his neck happily, crying again. 

As they were cuddling, laughing and crying, the door of the common room slammed open and all of their friends stormed in screaming. They surrounded the couple, creating one gigantic group hug, then all of them started to congratulate, asking questions. Daphné seemed really excited, asking if she can help with organizing the wedding, Yann and Manon just looked at them with knowing eyes, while Mika hugged Lucas happily, talking about how proud he is that his only son is getting married. 

They soon left the common room, since half of the people weren’t even students of the school, moving to the flatshare, because that was the only place where this many people could fit in. On the way they bought snacks, drinks, takeout, everything that is needed to celebrate an engagement. When Lucas voiced his concerns about leaving their dog alone for so long, his boyfriend reassured him that Lucille is taking care of her, which now explained why she wasn’t there with them. 

“I wonder what my mom is going to say about this.” Lucas mumbled as they were sitting in the armchair at the flat, surrounded by chatting friends, while some chill music was playing quietly in the background. Everyone drinking beer, buice, whatever they liked and they seemed really happy. 

“Well...” Eliott started, hands running up and down on his boy’s arms slowly. “I actually asked her about this.” he mumbled, burying his face into Lucas’ fluffy hair. 

“What?” he asked surprised, moving his head to the side, trying to look at his hiding boyfriend.

“I just... I wanted her permission.” he said, still avoiding the short boy’s look. “To make sure she’s okay with this.” 

Lucas didn’t say anything, but grabbed his boyfriend’s chin, lifting up his head and smiling at him fondly, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was with such a soft and lovely boyfriend... well, fiancé, actually. He had to laugh into the kiss as he thought about this, because it just made him feel so soft and warm inside. Eliott shot him a confused look, disapproving that his boyfriend just broke their soft moment.

“I love you so much.” Lucas whispered, biting his bottom lip just a little for teasing. 

“I love you too.” Eliott smirked and placed his hands on the boy’s waist now, pulling him closer, like they aren’t in the presence of a dozen people in the room. “And I will love you forever.” 

“Is this when movies say that they lived happily ever after, right?” Lucas smirked at him, running his fingers through his messy hair, rubbing their nose together. 

“Yeah, this is our happily ever after.” he whispered with a cute giggle, before initiating a really intense and inappropriate kiss with his beloved fiancé. 

They were really living the best of their life together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a long ride guys, but thank you so much for sitting through it with me, reading all this mess I wrote, enjoying the chapters, getting nervous at the angsty parts! I cannot express how much I love all of you, all the messages and comments! I can’t wait to start writing my next story, I hope you all going to like it! Have a nice day and Bisous to all of you

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading the first chapter, I'll make sure you guys enjoy all the upcoming ones, If you wanna ask me something or get to read the chapters as soon as possible, make sure to visit my tumblr: http://takaoparadise.tumblr.com/


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